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His thoughts.
Pete sighed, sitting down on the couch in his quiet, and empty hotel room.
He had got himself a can of beer and was about to enjoy himself with some football.
It would be the best way to wind down after a long day but for him, his mind was so consumed with so many thoughts, he didn't think it would help.
He couldn't help but feel down while he was also so confused and lost.
Pete hated to admit it but his emotions were solely caused by two people.
His ex-wife, which caused more of the angry and negative emotions.
But also Nova, however she only caused infatuation and curiosity.
Pete was literally in a battle with his mind.
He didn't want to think about the teenager almost every hour.
He didn't want to have thoughts about Nova that leaned towards inappropriate.
But unfortunately, that's how it was going to be until this phase in his life ends.
And although, it wasn't good to have constant thoughts on a younger girl, it did give him the distraction he needed.
Only a month ago Pete had to officially finalize his divorce with his wife.
It was one of the most hardest things for him because he'd always expect his marriage to be so strong, since they were going on 5 years years.
However, things changed, feelings changed, the love changed. And now here he is as an 35-year old man who's divorced.
Going through something like this was very emotional and devastating for Pete, especially when his job is traveling. He never feels like has moments to just sit and believe it.
Pete also felt like so many people were disappointed in him, family, and close friends mainly, who loved his wife and him.
With all that pressure, he couldn't necessarily blame himself for the extra drinking, and also for being paranoid about Nova.
At least her situation gave him something new to focus on. It allowed him to invest his own pain into something else.
In the beginning of learning about one direction's fantasy with this girl.
He was completely disgusted and shocked and that was only a huge understatement.
Pete didn't want believe that the number 1 boyband in multiple countries, would even think about doing this to someone. This would ruin their lives and hers.
Forcing a girl, almost a woman, to become a baby only for their pleasure. It was sick to Pete because they were basically delaying her life.
Not only that, he had to keep it a secret on how he really felt about this or else his job would have been gone in seconds.
However, the past two months, Pete could admit he hasn't been practicing what he's been preaching, and also a hypocrite.
Maybe with all the insults he's been throwing at the lifestyle, was really just hiding how he really felt.
Especially to Marcus and Ben, he's been acting as if he wanted to be Mr. super hero and save Nova out of all this nasty and inappropriate mess.
Take the girl and bring her back to her family, but in all honesty, he didn't even know if he wanted to do that anymore.
He did feel that way in the beginning, but in reality now, his view was slowly but surely changing on this daddy/baby kink or whatever it was.
Pete started getting very curious, and that lead to a lot research and videos on this, and that lead to a (maybe) liking for it.
Pete hated saying it, but he kind of found it cute and interesting in a small way.
Although, he was curious to the lifestyle he would never go through all that hell of finding, stalking, and capturing a whole new girl.
Pete didn't even necessarily want to jump into thinking about even becoming part of this way of living.
However, in a weird way he wanted to try it one time, and just see if it was all worth it to consider doing.
The band at least had an amazing time with it, why couldn't he?
That's another reason why he got jealous of band so much. They could try anything they wanted to, and it would be an immediate success.
Just look at how Nova is doing with them, completely perfect and Pete is still surprised on how they pulled that off and got such a perfect baby.
As it took time to realize, Pete could tell Nova was enjoying this and he hated that in a way because they got what they wanted all along.
It wasn't fair, and he wanted to experience at least a little bit of it.
That would take his mind off the shit he's already feeling in his daily life.
