***DARCIE***
Dear Darcellyn,
Hey.
It's Nikki. I know a lot of shit has happened, and honestly it hard for me to even write words right now. I just want to tell you I'm sorry Darcie....truly.
The boys and I have decided to get clean. all of us. hallelujah.
Please write to me...I miss you.
I love you...oh and uh Happy Holidays Dar.
Love,
Nikki
Shit. I quickly put the letter in the drawer that's it Nikki was going to rehab, Tommy's going, Vince, Mick was staying clean at home....I-i'm a waste.
...
Party. The house full of groupies and fine L.A men...GNR played some small venues for fans, they just love playing wherever the fuck they can it's great. Duff hasn't been letting me near any sharp shit, I don't know where he put the knives from the kitchen...maybe down the basement...I think it's cute and all that he's protective but he has to know it was a one time thing...it was a bad night.
I wonder...if I never broke up with Nikki would he be in rehab right now?
Coke. Drink a bit...Coke.
I feel fucking disgusting to be honest. Look at Nikki. Look at my big brother, all of them, ex lovers, brothers...family, friends....
I stumbled getting to our bedroom, but I got there. I drank a bit too much. Duff was on the floor, a bottle of vodka next to him. what's he doing locked in here? no clue. I stumble to the floor and crawl to him. "Duffles? why you in here?"
"Axl and Steven were fighting again... and girls keep asking me to fuck" he chuckles. Though in a normal functioning relationship you would expect your parter to know that, it felt almost new that he said that. It made me smile...he made me smile...he makes me feel worth something, though I don't feel worth a lot right now, but I am, I am worth something.
I take a little baggie and a book out, I place some powder on the book.
"Micheal?" I look over at him, "hm?" he looks at me
"I need the blade" I mutter "no" he says, I suck my teeth and cross my arms. He sighs, and grabs my face and kisses me "brat" he smirks, letting a smile spread. "gimme that" he says, I hand him the powder filled book. He takes the blade out his leather jacket. I scoot over closer to him and lay my head on his shoulder, seeing his concentration on making the lines clean for me, I smile. He took a line first, we didn't use a straw of anything just straight hold a nostril and snort. He handed it to me, I snorted. "what book is that anyway?"he asked, I brushed off the dust and put the rest of it on my gums. I looked at Duff, I took the powder lying on my finger, and held it in front of his lips, he leans down a bit and sucks the powder off my finger licking it clean. "good boy" I coo as I kiss him he put an arm around me and our heads lean on each other, I put my knees up and stand the book on my lap, I smile.
"Jane Eyre" I smile. "what's that?" he asked, uh was he-
"are you serious?" I scoffed, his brow raised. I smiled.
"you've never read this in high school? or anything"
"people actually do shit in high school? I mean I was in honors but I don't even remember half the shit I did" he said, I chuckle "I only remember books, the only reason I even started getting interested was cause I would rip the pages out for rolls and one day out of curiosity I saw the page and it was talking about love and all that shit so I decided to skip class a lot to go to libraries and read full versions of the book that wasn't half destroyed for dope paper" We laugh.
