Dice [h.s.]

4

"To understand another person, you must swim in the same waters that drowned them." -Unknown

    Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. What the fuck was I gonna do? Why did I have to be good at blackjack? Fuck me. It's okay, you're gonna be a badass today no matter what happens. You're gonna show them who's boss. Natalie was not helping my case at all, pacing back and forth in my living room all night after I told her about how brave I was going back to the casino and demanding he helps find my father's killer.

    She didn't think I was very brave. She thought I was stupid and ignorant and a dumb mother fucker. I mean, I couldn't disagree with her because in retrospect I just made a deal with the real life devil. Well, my devil. The way he looked at me yesterday, all sinisterly and confidently. You could practically see the flames of hell burning in his pupils. The green was only a disguise for the smoldering red behind them.

    Natalie had spent the night in my apartment, yelling and drinking then yelling some more. She finished my favorite bottle of whiskey! When it was finally time for me to report to the devil's palace, the bitch fell asleep! She left me alone, working on zero sleep and the nerves of a little girl performing on her first ever stage in front of a huge audience. In my case, the audience was 5 sexy men and a bitchy woman. I am royally fucked.

    My apartment was a very rustic yet modern apartment. You first walk into a tiny hallway that leads up at the all brick kitchen. It had stainless steel appliances and a little bar looking out to the living room. Beside the kitchen was a few folding chairs around a table with a fruit bowl in the center. There were three stools on the outside of the bar, which were also sat in the living room.

    The living room was a small room with huge windows that were ground to ceiling. It was a large brown sofa and a tv hung on the wall. There was a furry white rug under your feet and two matching lounge chairs. My desk was also under the table where my laptop and filing cabinet sat.

    Across from the kitchen was my bedroom and bathroom. I had a white door covered in random sticky notes leading to my bedroom. My bedroom was a grey room with a king bed in the middle with dull white sheets. I had the messy closet on the go thing in the corner and a small dresser. Two white bedside tables and a small tv on the wall.

    There was a door connected to my room, which led to the small yet usable bathroom. It was an all white marble bathroom. Big see through shower with grey tiling. There was a his and her sink with one big vanity and small cabinets under the sink. Then a toilet between the shower and sinks that sat awkwardly between everything. I liked my apartment, I moved in here back in college.

I sat on my bed, staring at my boring dresser. I don't know what the fuck to wear. They all look so fucking amazing in everything they wear and I'm just, blah. I just put on a pair of high waisted ripped jeans and a Metallica baggy t-shirt. I slid my feet into my dirty white vans and called it a day. What was I supposed to wear, Gucci that I don't have? Sure, I'll just go steal it real quickly no problem. Sure they'll love to hear about me robbing a store.

    I stuffed my pack of cigarettes and lighter in my back pocket, and stuffed my phone in the other one. I grabbed my car keys and pressed a gentle kiss to Natalie's head. She looked so peaceful, yet stressed with frown lines cemented on her forehead out of worry. I honestly felt bad causing so much stress on her. This was my mess, I shouldn't have dragged her into it to help me. I had an army knife in my car for safety so I'll bring that just in case. Ya know, maybe I'll have to stab someone for trying to have sex with me again. 

    I walked down the first set of stairs beside my apartment and stopped on the first floor. The apartment building was old and rusty, but the rent was cheap so I didn't mind. This place would definitely fail a health inspection. I smiled at the clerk who I passed everyday. She was an old lady with a smile who could make anyone happy. I pushed through the set of revolving doors at the front of the lobby and to my car parked on the street. Those doors are the most expensive things in this place.