Dice [h.s.]

5

"The one who falls and gets up, is so much stronger than one who never fell." -La La Anthony

Harry Styles. That goddamn name has haunted my head all fucking night. Every single thing I said, did, thought it all came back to him. Why? It's like he put a chip in my brain to make him and only him infiltrate my every thought. It's fucking annoying.

This morning while I was making my morning coffee in my Keurig, I looked at the steaming brown coffee and thought of how steaming hot he is in his brown hair. Even looking down at the tiny tattoos that littered my hands reminded me of him.

I haven't known this man for more than 48 hours and I can't get him out of my brain. It might be because he's one of the most interesting people I've ever laid my eyes on. And I've seen some pretty interesting people.

Something about him though just makes me so drawn to him. He has this commanding aura that tells you to beware and don't stand too close. But if you really squint, you can notice it's not actually who he is.

He got me thinking yesterday when the closest thing to a smile I'll probably ever get from him was his mouth wide open at my driving skills. He was in awe when I know damn well he would have done the same exact thing.

I don't know if it's because he's a sexus and is surprised that a girl can drive like that, but it was interesting to see. The persona he puts up isn't as strong as he makes it seem.

Well, maybe just to me. I know what it looks like to try and act like a tough guy but actually be crumbling down inside. I've been through it. Not as prominent as Harry's but, something similar to it.

I don't know, maybe I'm reading too much into it. I get that from Nat. Natalie is in school to become a psychologist and one night I was helping her study for a big exam. The exam was on behavior analysis. Studying the ways a human reacts to pressure.

Natalie is fucking amazing at it. She can spot a guilty man or a liar from a mile away. I'm never able to keep her birthday presents from her because she always tells me I'm hiding something and I always wind up telling her to avoid an argument.

I think she's also good at it because of how she grew up. Natalie hopped from foster home to foster home ever since she could remember. She was given up for adoption as a baby and doesn't remember a single thing about her family.

She lived on the streets a lot, learning how to read people was her source of entertainment. That's how I met her actually. Hanging with one of my ex gang banger boyfriends in the alleyway she used to stay in. She told me I was a manipulative bitch and that I deserve better than the man I was currently with.

I cracked my knuckles and got ready to attack her until she apologized and said she only meant the better man part. That's where our friendship was born. I helped her get into college with some of my scholarships and was able to get her into the same school as me.

I guess you could say she owes me her life now. Without me, as she puts it, she'd be ten feet under and living her best life. I don't know if that's supposed to be nice or mean but I took it as a compliment.

Natalie and I were summoned to Alea tonight. Ya know, I wonder what Alea stands for. It's definitely an odd casino name. Natalie and I got there at our scheduled time in ripped jeans and crop tops. Ya know if she wasn't gonna dress nice, I wasn't going to either.

Standing in the velvet ropes were the usual line of people dying to get into the casino. It took all of me to now stick my middle fingers up and yell "see ya later suckers" when Zayn opened the front doors for us. I'm way too sassy for my own good.