Dice [h.s.]

53

"Darling, no one's soul is pure/ we are not here to stay clean/" -/// ed;

-

I am a calm person. The calmest person you'll probably ever meet. I take my time to cool down, I don't yell. I don't freak out in stressful situations. I'm patient and gentle. I never thought that would change. But Harry really knows how to make me not so calm.

I woke him up early this morning and practically dragged him into the car Xavier had sent for us. He was half conscious when we arrived at the airport. He had been resting ever since last night.

Me on the other hand, I haven't slept a wink.

I was scared. I was afraid that the minute I shut my eyes, I'd see my mother bleeding out. Or I'd see Leonardo holding a gun to my head. I was scared that when I closed my eyes, I wouldn't be safe anymore.

Not that I was safe to begin with

I spent the night staring at the ceiling. I drank the whole bottle of bourbon then hid it in Harry's bathroom so he wouldn't flip out when he found it empty. I found peace in the quietness between us, him sleeping beside me was something I cherished. Mostly because I thought he had died a few hours earlier.

Harry and I arrived at the airport on time, but we didn't exactly get on the flight on time. Harry, of course, woke up as we helped him out of the car. Our bags were on the flights and I was on the stairs when I heard rustling.

I turned back to see Harry fighting the security guards. His face was filled with anger as the guards stepped away from him, leaving him to pace. I rushed over to him, leaving the plane behind me.

"Harry, what's wrong?" I questioned him as I tried to comfort him. He pushed my hand away while doing everything but face the plane.

Quickly, it hit me. Harry's parents died on a plane, in a plane crash. I remembered Natalie saying something about the guys never going on a plane again, ever. He's scared he'll die on it, just like his parents did.

Now this was going to be a problem

"Harry, look at me." I wrapped my arms around the rogue sweatshirt I found in his closet and moved towards him.

He was almost rabbi. He was breathing heavily while trying to rip his hair from his scalp. His jaw was tight as he paced with his eyes squeezed shut. This was making him panic.

I bet he hasn't seen a plane this up close since then

"Harry, look at me." I walked around him, facing the plane. He shook his head as I hesitantly placed my hand on his shoulder.

"I'm not going to give you a lousy speech and say that you're going to be fine." I took a deep breath while making eye contact with who seems to be the captain. He gestured to his watch. I nodded.

We needed to get going

"We need to get on this plane, Harry. If we don't, we're gonna die." I squeezed his shoulder while slowly taking deep breaths to calm myself.

"I'm not getting on that fucking plane." Harry spit out while shaking his head. I sighed and glanced at the captain again.

"Harry, come on. I'll be there the whole time." I squeezed his shoulder again. His eyes suddenly opened to lock on mine.

"I don't fucking care! I'm not going on that fucking death trap." Harry lunged slightly at me, but I didn't flinch.

I glanced at the pilot again as he began to shake his head. He was going to leave without us. I hate to do what I'm about to do, but I have to. I wish I had time to nurture him on this flight, but we're on a time crunch.