Dice [h.s.]

65

"I told the stars about you." -d.j,

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Kennedy's POV

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I've always found peace in the night. The calmness of the breeze, the silence of the city. It's always brought comfort to me. I'd catch myself staring at the stars for fun, lying in the grass.

I've had a fascination with planets, and stars. The different constellations in the sky. My favorite was always the Orion. It sits in the middle of the sky. You usually can't find it. That's why I love it so much. It's always in hiding. But when it shows itself, it's beautiful.

With my back against the grass, staring up at the night sky, I squinted, trying to find any constellations that wanted to make themselves known to me. I couldn't find much. The sky was empty tonight.

I pressed my hands against my stomach, holding back the nerves building up in my abdomen. The butterflies had turned into bees, buzzing angrily against their cage inside my stomach.

Today was a day I hope I never have to relive. I felt so dirty. The first thing Leonardo made me do was interrogate a child. A literal child. She was only ten. They found her stealing some shit and wanted me to get the truth out of her. A fucking ten year old.

I forced them out of the room then let her go. I wasn't hurting her. I will never put my hands on a child. They are innocent and don't know what's right from wrong. They don't deserve the trauma of this at such a young age. Trust me, I have first hand experience.

Eliza took the fall for me. She said I asked her to watch her while I got weapons and she escaped. I think without Eliza, I wouldn't be able to do this. She's the one who let me out here in the backyard. Leonardo's had me locked in my bedroom.

Having to put this persona on has been something I thought would come harder to me. I'm so easily able to slip in and out of it as if it is a part of me. Maybe that's because it is.

I stared at the stars above me, staggered a few feet away from each other. I smiled at them, knowing that there's a possibility Harry's looking at the same stars as me. Knowing that there's a chance we're still okay. That he will forgive me.

That's all I have to go on, chance. I knew coming into this that this was going to be hard. Harder than anything I've ever done. I'm doing the thing I told him I wouldn't, again. I keep breaking his trust like I'm taking candy from a baby.

But at the same time, it shouldn't be this easy

He's supposed to trust me. Know that I would never betray him. But in our life, he has to understand that that is nearly impossible. I grew up as the equivalent of a royal in this life. The life of deceit and duplicity is the only world I know.

Every time I look at my mother or Leonardo, I feel a gut wrenching pain. The pain of losing a loved one. The pain that comes with seeing the people who have ruined your lives. They have ruined my life.

My mother has happily opened her arms to me being here after our little chat earlier. Which, in all honesty, is how it needs to be. And Leonardo, he makes me want to off myself.

The way he looks at me, like I'm his fucking child. He has this paternal thing over me and it makes me shiver. I fantasize about hanging him by his feet and stabbing a new part of his body everyday so he could die slowly and painfully.

I can't wait to put a bullet through his fucking skull.

"Kennedy!" My name was whispered behind me, forcing me to sit up and look behind me. Eliza was hurrying over in her heels.