No.31

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//Riptide Campaign :')

Look,,it's 3:03 in the morning for me rn. I just- 

I just argued with myself about waking up in hourly intervals since 12 and I've given up with sleep because of it hhhh I'm going through it.

So I'm blaming anything shitty I wite on that :D Tis currently now 6:09. It has taken me three hours to write this and it's only 2000 words pls im gonna cry-

But yes this is John/Gill because I love them. ^^; Also I wanna get comfier with writing John's character ^^

Also, like the last one! This would take maybe a night or two after John is taken back from the Navy's capture..! So yes John angst. I'm sorry ;-;

Ofc it's hurt/comfort pls I've tried to think of straight up angst with these two and I cannot fathom it. ;') Also Jay is in this because h e r. I need no reason. She is reason enough. I love her--

TW//  anxious thoughts (I think that's it? If there's anything else, please lemme know!!)

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John sat up in his bed, his breathing shallow and panicked as he looked around him, not allowing himself for a second to familiarise himself as he staggered out of his bed, making his way groggily up to the top deck. The moment the very early morning air hit John's face, he realised he had woken up in a sweat, this realisation only encouraging him to get onto the top deck. And he did just that.

Placing his hands on the railings of what he was slowly becoming more sure of was the railings belonging to the Crescent Moon, he finally took a deep breath, struggling for a brief few seconds before getting the hang of it. The air was fresh, which is honestly very helpful to get John to calm down as well as to wake him up. His gaze fell to the thin line where the sea and the sky met, watching as the soft rolling waves in the far distance pushed the line higher and higher, finding peace in the sea.

A few minutes passed by, and John argued he was more tired than anxious, that the fresh morning air was the reason for his shivering. Which made sense. People definitely shiver when they're cold. They also shake when their anxious, but John wasn't anxious. He was John. He was just cold. Not anxious. Why would he be anxious? Exactly! No reason, so stop thinking about the possibility of you being anxious, John-

Another deep breath interrupted his internal argument with himself. He tried to refocus on the sea, the thin line where the sky and waves met, but to no avail. He was tired, cold, possibly anxious but that was still debatable, and his focus was absolutely gone. This all just caused John more stress than he was happy to take on, making him frustrated with himself as he rested his forearms on the railings, leaning his head on his arms. John slowly closed his eyes, continuing to take deep breaths. Admittedly, this position seemed to help him calm down a lot more than trying to refind his focus, perhaps maybe this was because of how little he had to focus on whilst his eyes were closed. Though like this he'd be very easy to sneak up on, but that happening was very unlikely-

"John?" 

Okay so maybe he jumped. But anyone would if they randomly heard someone say their name from behind them. Especially if they're cold! Yeah. 

John jumped and turned with a start, turning to meet the now very concerned eyes of Gillion, though his growing concern was probably from John's reaction.

"I-I'm sorry..! I tried to get your attention while I was coming across, but I'm assuming you must not have heard me...Are you alright? You seem on edge..." John groaned softly as he turned back to face the sea, once again leaning his arms on the railings as he let his head hang low as well. As little as he wanted to really talk about why he was like this, he wasn't about to lie to Gillion... After everything he'd done for him? No way. 

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