GINGERSNAPS

75. Cracks In Their World

Remus stepped into the corridor to have a moment alone.

He ran his hands through his hair, pacing back and forth.

"I'm sorry Sunshine, but you might have been wrong about me. I don't know- I don't know if I can keep going on... oh gosh sunshine, I miss you..." he spoke to himself in a hushed voice.

His chest was heaving as he paced finally he slid down the stone wall, cradling his knees to his chest. Remus didn't know how long he was there for but his knees ached in the joints from stiffness.

Making it difficult to stand when he heard the approaching footsteps. Charlie had come around the corner when Remus had got to his feet.

"Lupin! What's going on? You wrote to me instead of Olivia, did something bad happen?" Charlie in a panicked tone, as he got closer to the man.

Remus dug down for the littlest amount of strength he had left. "Yeah, something bad happened Charlie," he said breathlessly. "Something really bad."

"Tell me then.." Charlie said. He knew it had to be bad, if it was Remus here telling him. If it was him instead of Olivia. Because she'd be here then, because she's always here for him. She's always there for the twins and his family. She's always there for everyone.

Looking at Remus standing there, with a face that screamed sorrow, Charlie came to the news of what he was going to say before Remus said it. Charlie knew but he needed Remus to just say it, to say it and make it real.

So Charlie, prepared for the pain to come, that would crack his chest wide open, for the pain that would bring him to his knees. Pain that he would experience again over and over if it was the price to pay for this not to be true, but he would feel the pain over and over again until his last breath.

"She's dead." Remus said all too softly.

Charlie staggered a few steps back, the words hitting their target. His vision became black around the edges, his knees buckled. He grasped for the wall, for anything to tether him to reality.

Suddenly, the world grew colder to him, knowing that she was not in it. The June weather felt like a winters kiss on his skin.

He could feel it, the shift in the world, how empty it felt, just as hollow as his chest felt.

"Where is she... where-" Charlie whispered.

"She's inside, with the others." Remus answered.

"Okay. Okay... and Snape, you made sure to, uh, to-"

"He knows." Said Remus, "Your brothers and Sirius are inside with her now. Harry was there when it happened. And Dumbledore will inform McGonagall."

Charlie nodded his head, taking deep breaths. He closed his eyes for just a moment, then he straightened his back, walked over to the double doors and opened it.

He could see them gathered around a bed. Sirius' shaggy hair draped over his back, Fred and George bent over with their heads in their hands. There was others but Charlie couldn't process their faces as he started towards the group.

He couldn't hear any of the words spoke to him, he couldn't even feel the sympathy for pushing through to the bedside.

He didn't know when his knees finally gave out or why his cheeks were suddenly damp, but he didn't care. How could he care about anything else when the person that made him feel so alive was not.