🌟bILLIE eILISH smut 🌟

College Roommate PT.3 (B.E.)

Billie felt relieved as Y/N came home.

She had been invited to a party and told Y/N about it. Y/N encouraged her to go. They haven't talked about the kiss they shared.

Billie was unsure about going to the party but Y/N believed in her and told her she'd have to face it at some point. She needed that self-control of not being self-destructive and using again.

Billie saw all kinds of drugs at this party. The kinds of drugs she'd normally involve herself in. She found Lara there and seeked that comfort in her to keep her steady. Lara helped, but not a lot. Lara knew Billie was sober for a while and she just wanted to give Billie that little nudge towards self-control and willpower.

She found herself going straight for the white powder lined up on the glass table but paused.

§

It's right there. What she's been craving for weeks. What her body itched for.

She eyes the powdered substance from across the room and watched as some dudes passed around a straw and took turns snorting the blow.

Billie felt her breathing increase and she heads towards the table. She sits down at the sofa everyone was on and watches as the straw gets passed around more and it's almost her turn. No one questions her or even glances at her. If drugs were in a certain area of a party then you could count on the idea that Billie was probably there too. Probably doing them as well with a girl on her lap or sitting on the lap of a boy.

She's eyeing the line of powder with hunger. "Here," a guy on her right hands her the same straw and rubs his nose.

Billie's shaky hands come up to grab the straw. The first time she let her eyes leave the cocaine.

"You alright?" The dude asked and Billie ignored him.

This was how people caught diseases and fucked up their noses. Billie knew because she had ruined her nose after sharing a dollar note with other people before. Dangerous as fuck. Bacteria and other peoples bloody noses.

Billie gulps and freezes. She shut her eyes, everything inside of her wanted that line. Everything inside of her pushed her towards it.

"It's been two weeks, Bils. Are you proud of yourself? I'm proud."

"You're doing so well, Billie. Come here."

"You're so strong, you can do this. I'm here for you,"

If Billie wanted Y/N to speak to her like that and maybe even kiss her again then she would have to fight the urges. If Billie wanted Y/N to hold her and praise her then she'd have to stop. If she wanted Y/N to not be disappointed, she had to try. If not for herself then for Y/N.

Billie stands up and exhales deeply before throwing the straw across the room.

"Yo, what the fuck, man?!"

Billie stormed out of the room and ran into a body.

"Billie? What were you... did you just—"

"Lara...what—no! I-I... fuck. No. I cant, I need to get some air." Lara nodded and grabbed Billie's hand before dragging her through the crowds and going out into the back yard of the house with her.

§

"Hey? I thought you would've been back later," Y/N smiled and chuckled at Billie, who stood up expectantly and smiled back.

"Yeah, it was too much. Uhm, I almost used again... it was right there and I had the straw that everyone else just used...but I-I resisted the urges. And I'm so grateful I did because... I didn't want to disappoint you."