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❝𝙰𝚂𝙷𝚃𝚁𝙰𝚈❞ ——————————————————————— A/n: i cried making this, good luck🤪
I walked across an empty land I knew the pathway like the back of my hand I felt the earth beneath my feet Sat by the river and it made me complete
I walked through a wooded area, i knew where i was going. I wouldn't get lost. I've been through it countless times, i knew the way like the back of my hand. I stopped walking when i got to our spot. Right in front of the river, i sat on a log. I felt complete..but also incomplete because the boy i shared this place with was no longer here with me..
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on So tell me when you're gonna let me in I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
It's been 5 months since Ash passed, it still felt unreal and i wished it wasn't. He was my reason to keep going. And when things got hard, we'd sit by the river and talk about all sorts of things. Sometimes, i act like he's still here, i'm tired of it.
I came across a fallen tree I felt the branches of it looking at me Is this the place we used to love? Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?
I began walking again, coming across a fallen tree. Ash and i's favourite tree. We took multiple pictures in front of it, though he didn't want too. And even carved our initials into it when a little heart next to it. Tears filled my eyes, this was our place. The place we loved. Now i have nobody to share it with...and I don't want anyone else. Just Ashtray.
Oh simple thing, where have you gone? I'm getting old and I need something to rely on So tell me when you're gonna let me in I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
I looked down at our initials, memories of the day we did it. Ash constantly said it was stupid but deep down, I could tell he was up for it. He's gone, he's not coming back. I can still faintly hear his laughs in my head, his voice and i was terrified that i'd forget.
And if you have a minute, why don't we go Talk about it somewhere only we know? This could be the end of everything So why don't we go somewhere only we know? Somewhere only we know
I made my way home, i entered my room and saw a letter on my desk. A letter Ashtray had written for me before he died because he knew deep down something bad would happen after he killed mouse, after him and Fez sold drugs, and he was right. He was never wrong. I was too scared to open it..but now, it was time. I slowly walked towards it.
Oh simple thing, where have you gone? I'm getting old and I need something to rely on So tell me when you're gonna let me in I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
My hands shook as i picked it up. My name was written on it in Ashtray's messy handwriting, making me chuckle a little. His handwriting was always messy but I thought it was cute. I swallowed a lump in my throat before opening it, I began reading.
And if you have a minute, why don't we go Talk about it somewhere only we know? This could be the end of everything So why don't we go? So why don't we go?
Dear Y/n, By the time you've read this..i'll be gone. But don't worry, i'm still watching over you. And please don't cry, you know i hate that. While i'm gone, please don't stop going to the place we love, the only place we know of. It'll be sad to ditch it after i die. Make new memories there with someone new? Or maybe just to remember me?
You know, i'll miss seeing your beautiful face. I'll miss everything, watching movies with you & Fez, going to our favourite place, going to parties, waking up next to you..just living. I know it seemed like i hated it, but I didn't. I don't want to say goodbye, I don't want to put you through it. But i love you. Its my time to go, and it sucks. I can't wait to meet again, I love you Y/n M/n L/n.
And please... Never forget me. - Your Ashtray<3
Oh, this could be the end of everything So why don't we go somewhere only we know? Somewhere only we know Somewhere only we know
My tears soaked the letter a little, i held it close to my chest, choking up sobs. The last thing i had left of Ashtray. This letter. Our place. I'll never forget him, even if he's not here. I can't wait to meet him again, we'll live for eternity together..
