Broken Road »» Rick Grimes (TWD)

Chapter 111

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I gripped the sink and looked at myself in the bathroom mirror, studying the blood caked onto my face and the sick look in my eyes.

"I can do it myself." I told Maggie as she began wiping my face with a wet washcloth.

"Shut up and let me help." She ordered while washing the blood from my forehead before moving to my cheeks.

"Do you get scared that one day you're going to wake up and you've completely lost your mind?" I asked while looking into her eyes.

"Sometimes." She mumbled while briefly looking to my eyes.

"I think I'm almost there." I stated while tears welled up in my eyes again.

"You're not." She replied while reassuring herself more than me.

"You know, I couldn't control myself today. I didn't have any limits to what I would do— or what I did do. There was no thought process. There was no mercy. That makes me one of them. And that's terrifying." I explained while looking into her eyes.

"You saved your kids today. I would've done the same. Any of us would have, and have, done the same." She stated while running the washcloth under the running water before returning to my face.

"And I know Rick is taking care of the other suspects, but I can't help but wonder how many more are there. Like, I would've never suspected Julia as a threat. I know I won't be back there, neither will Magnolia." I muttered while staring myself in the eyes through the mirror.

"I understand the potential Rick sees in that place, but you'd have to completely get rid of everyone and start over to ensure safety. You don't know anyone except your own. You can't just trust them because you're the leader now. Leaders get overthrown." Maggie explained while wringing the wash cloth out.

"Exactly." I mumbled.

"I think he realizes that now." She stated.

"If he did, he'd be here." I answered while looking to Maggie in the mirror.

She stopped what she was doing and gave me an sympathetic glance before stepping away.

"I think I expect too much from him." I stated.

"No, you expect the bare minimum. That's why it never works out between you two. He can't reach the bare minimum because he takes his leadership too seriously. In my eyes, family comes first. No matter what. I know he loves you and I don't question that, but I do question his ability to prioritize what matters." She replied while opening the bathroom door.

I slowly moved my eyes from the mirror and turned to face her, knowing she was right.

"You know, we've been on a dead end road since we met." I muttered while watching her eyes scan mine.

"More like a round-about, but yeah." She replied before her lips turned into a grin.

I smiled and shook my head before peeling my bloody shirt off of me.

"Take your time. I got the girls." Maggie ordered me while leaving the bathroom.

After showering the blood, sweat, and tears off of me from today, I left the bathroom feeling a bit lighter.

"It's a tiara for pretty princesses!" Judith exclaimed. I furrowed my eyebrows as I entered the living room, finding that Daryl and Glenn fell victim to Judith's princess tea party.

"Aren't you two pretty!" Maggie joked from her seat on the couch.

"Rick said to contact him when you're able." Glenn told me while handing me the walkie. I quickly took it from him and walked out on the porch for privacy.