Broken Road »» Rick Grimes (TWD)

Chapter 132

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I slowly entered the cabin behind Rick, remembering the last time I was here was with Negan. I closed the door behind us and locked it before grabbing my walkie from my hip.

"We're at Daryl's cabin. We'll head back to Hilltop at sunrise." I spoke into the radio before waiting for a response.

"Okay. Be safe. Thanks for being here today." Maggie replied.

"You too. Anytime." I replied.

I stood by the door, feeling everything begin to hit me at once. The kills from today, the fear, the anxiety, the adrenaline rushes, and now the reminders of Negan.

"I'll be back." I told Rick as I grabbed the bucket and headed out to get water from the creek.

I walked under the moon's light just a few feet from the cabin and retrieved water with the bucket before crouching down and attempting to remove the blood stains off of my hands.

I dug my nails into my skin in an attempt to help scrape the caked-on blood off before rinsing with the cold water. I sighed after several 'washes' and stood up with my bucket before staring down at the moon's reflection in the water. I briefly closed my eyes and inhaled several deep breaths before heading back to the cabin.

You're safe. Rick's safe. Glenn's safe. Maggie's safe. Your kids are home, safe and sound. Everything's fine.

I entered the cabin and closed the door behind me and locked it before heading into the bathroom with the bucket of water.

I pulled my boots off along with my flannel before pulling my hair back into a ponytail to splash water onto my face.

After lighting the oil lamp, I splashed water onto my face before staring at my reflection in the mirror. My hands shook as I wiped my face with a towel before gripping the sink to steady myself.

I left the bathroom and brought the oil lamp with me before setting it on the mantle above the fireplace. I walked to the window and peered out at the night sky while loosely crossing my arms.

I felt sick. I felt anxious. I felt scared.

"Thanks for saving my ass back there." Rick muttered as he approached me from behind.  

"That's not something you have to thank me for." I replied while looking to the moon's reflection on the slow moving stream.

"You're shaking." He observed from behind me.

"Yeah, it's been a long day." I stated while trying to prevent my body from shaking.

"Take the bed. I'm taking the couch." He ordered me while sitting down on the sofa.

"No, that's okay. You take the bed." I demanded while facing him.

"I'm fine, Jess." He replied while leaning back.

"I can't take the bed. I don't want to be in there." I stated while he studied my eyes.

"Why?" He asked.

"I just don't want to." I answered. After realizing he probably thought I didn't want to be in there because we made love in there, I felt I needed to clarify.

"Okay." He replied

"Negan and I.. we were here. A couple of days before everything." I mumbled while looking to his eyes.

"Oh." He replied while standing from the couch.

He entered the bedroom without another word, leaving me alone to have the couch. I slowly walked over to where he sat and sat down before lying on my side. I folded my arms close to my chest and closed my eyes while listening to his footsteps in the bedroom.