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I signed as I pulled up to my old house. I am here to see the results of the DNA test. I wasn't even going to do this and I've been putting it off for so long. I don't know what I expected from her but this right here is heartbreaking, heart wrenching.
Of course how I treat my daughter isn't going to be any different. if anything it is and will continue to chang for the positive, but it still breaks me.
" Gloria!" I walked in and called her but her formal name.
"Javier!" I walked back to where her voice came from.
" it's Joshua." She snickered.
" you would think because I picked your name. You would hate that too."
" Joshua is all right." I shrugged.
I am not feeding into her bullshit.
She looks like she's fucking wasted, one, think about her, or pick up a drink at the drop of a pen. I feel like that is cause most of the problems in our relationship besides infidelity. Because when she gets drunk, she becomes another person.
" do you remember when our parents first told us we get to change our names? We were- well I was so excited to get a brand new start. The weight that name carried was so heavy. You know what I'm saying." I nodded.
I actually do. I hated Javier, that name was given to me by a monster, and the monsters things that came behind that name still to this day bothers me.
" do you know that my dad named me after my aunt who used to sexually molest him, so when he did it to me, he felt like he was getting payback on her." She scoffed.
" I didn't know." I shook my head.
That explains a lot, that also explains why our fathers were best friends.
" I wasn't supposed to tell you. I wasn't supposed to tell you that your dad and my dad came up with an agreement to share me." She laughed and continued to sip her wine. " I kept everybody secrets and what did it get me? Hypersexual, I'm such a fucking liar. I am lonely, I am depressed, I am a horrible mother. Do you know that Gia slipped up and called her mom while we were on the phone?" She looked at me and I shook my head. " they are the same age for goodness sake. How can she call her mom? How can one little girl take everything I had? She is taking my life. To think I thought otherwise. God showed me didn't he. I used to think she would never get a man looking the way that she looks, acting the way that she ask. She would never get a family. Now here we are, she took my man, she took my daughter and she's pregnant. He really showed me." I nodded.
" I think you had enough to drink."
" why didn't you tell me?"
" tell you what?"
" that she was pregnant?" She looked at me.
" because you are my ex-wife, and there is no need for you to know anything about my current relationship. My current relationship is my business."
