a lifeline

75 (edited)

huge trigger warning for the entire chapter - sh mentions, mention of suicide attempt, OD mentions, ect!!

once the vacation had ended (back in chicago) june 7th -

~

after getting back from thailand, victoria found herself fast asleep in her bed for the next 2 days.

she was beyond tired & exhausted and to make matters even worse, she was experiencing suicidal thoughts and self harm urges once again..

at around 1pm she dragged herself out of her bed and changed into some shorts and a sports bra so she could make up random dance routines in the basement to distract herself.

after scrolling through a few songs victoria ended up playing deep end by birdy.

about half way through the song she could feel herself getting worked up and caught herself imagining that there was blood slipping down her wrists.

"no..no i cant.." victoria whispered to herself as she ran her hands over her face, she knew that she needed a release and knew it was going to happen sooner or later, she also knew it would happen wether she wanted it to or not.

she sighed as she ran upstairs to her room to try to find something.. anything sharp as she knew that feeling that burn linger across her skin would be the only way to calm herself down..

after rummaging through her drawers for a good few minutes she eventually found a blade and didn't hesitate to drag it across both of her wrists however she was interrupted when someone walked into her bedroom...

"tori.." evas eyes widened as she watched victorias blood spill down her arms.

"shit. its fine... you didnt see this." victoria cursed under her breath as she got off of her bed and rushed to her bathroom.

"victoria you need to tell someone.. this is really bad." eva followed victoria into her bathroom and watched as victoria desperately wiped the blood off of her arms.

"no its fine. you didnt see this.. any of it." victoria looked at eva through her mirror with somewhat of a pleading look.

eva sighed in defeat as she walked out of victorias room which left victoria to clean herself up, she wiped the blood off of her skin before walking into her closet and pulling a hoodie on to hide the newly made wounds and then placed the blade inside of her phone case..

victoria was beyond paranoid that eva was going to tell erin and antonio which caused her to make another not so smart decision..

she asked tjay to stop by the house seeing as though erin and antonio had went to the store.

10 minutes later -

tjay had dropped by the house and gave victoria some coke and molly which victoria planned on taking as soon as she could.

after saying bye to tjay, victoria ran back up to her room to begin taking the drugs however just as she was taking one of her mollys eva walked in.. again.

"look you gotta tell them tori.." eva sighed and looked down to victoria who had her gaze trained on a range of drugs infront of her.

"it was nothing. you didnt see a thing, whatever you thought you saw.. your mistaken." victoria let out a deep breath and swallowed the molly.