Brother's best friend

I CAN'T DO THIS(37)

You got into the car, and Carlos looked at you and raised his eyebrows.

-Your place or mine?

-You don't have a place here. -You rolled your eyes.

-I'm practically Charles' roommate, you got it.

-Then your place.

You took his hand that was resting on his leg as he drove to Charles' apartment. When you arrived, he opened the door and asked you to wait. He got out and opened the door for you, taking your hand to help you out of the car. How chivalrous, you thought. You entered the apartment, with you walking ahead of him. He took you by the wrist, turning you towards him, and placed his hands on your waist, kissing you passionately. You felt the temperature rising. You kissed him back, pressing your waist against him. He removed his jacket without breaking his lips from yours, and you helped him remove his shirt. He then helped you take off your top. He lowered his mouth to your neck, planting gentle kisses, kisses on your neck were your weakness, you moaned. He put his hands on your butt, you gave a little jump, wrapping your legs around his hips, and he pressed you against the wall. Suddenly, a feeling of guilt started to overcome you. The previous night with Pierre came to your mind, and you didn't expect that something would happen with Carlos tonight. You felt bad for being with Pierre one night before and now with Carlos. Obviously, the problem wasn't with him; it was within yourself. You felt morally conflicted. You stretched your legs until they touched the floor and distanced yourself from Carlos. He tried to approach and kiss you again, but you evaded him.

-I can't do this. -You said walking away from him and locked yourself in Charles' room.

-Y/n, open the door, what happened? Did I do something? -He said as he tried to open the door, but you had locked it.

-I'm sorry. -You said, feeling embarrassed, you didn't want to face him.

You knew that you hadn't been unfaithful to Carlos because you weren't even together. Sometimes you thought you didn't care about what others think, but sometimes it wasn't true. Sometimes it mattered too much to you. You were single and could do whatever you wanted with your life and your body, but as a woman, there was always a tinge of guilt. In less than a week, you had been with two men, almost three. You hated feeling that way. You hated knowing that if you tell Carlos, he will get upset and his jealousy will take over. You hated that you hadn't really done anything wrong, yet you still felt bad.

-You're sorry for what? Please open the door! What happened? -He said, desperate.

You placed your forehead against the door, closed your eyes, and took a deep breath. You removed the lock from the door and opened it. Carlos was still shirtless, his hair slightly disheveled, and there was a hint of uncertainty in his eyes. You felt like you were fucking everything up lately.

-I had sex with Pierre yesterday. -You said without looking him in the eyes, as you didn't dare to. Carlos didn't really like him, he never liked the idea of you and Pierre.

-Are you kidding me? Then what the hell was tonight?

-Tonight was everything, Carlos! Last night didn't mean anything...I had to tell you before we did it.

Carlos turned his back on you, grabbed his shirt and put it on, and stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him. You sat outside the room, you weren't leaving, you just had to wait and give him space. You put your head on your side on your knees, hugging your legs. After a few minutes you were falling asleep, you closed your eyes.

You felt that it had already been a while and you seemed to hear the door closing, you were still half asleep, you felt that you couldn't move. You felt some hands grabbing you and carried you, you opened your eyes, becoming aware.

-Carlos let me explain. -Carlos put you on Charles' bed.

-Just get some sleep. -He said with a heavy sigh and left the room.

You felt a whirlwind of emotions swirling inside you. Guilt weighed heavily on her conscience, knowing that Carlos is probably hurt. Mixed with your guilt and regret was a tinge of confusion, you understood that Carlos emotions are valid but you kept reapiting in your head that you did nothing wrong, you regretted telling him, but you also didn't want him to find out in any other way, because there's always that possibility.

You felt strange being in the same place as Carlos but in different rooms, not knowing what he thinks, not knowing what he feels. You tossed and turned in bed, unable to fall asleep, your heart beating too fast, which also distracted you. You kept going over the matter in your head, over and over again. You needed your brother, so you grabbed your phone and texted him.

Y/n: hey, are you up?

A few minutes passed.

Y/n: Charles? Please.

Charles didn't respond to your message. It was late, but you hoped he would be awake or hear his phone. It would be a bit selfish of you, but you decided to call him. You needed to talk to him; you were on the verge of having an anxiety attack. After 3 rings, he answered.

-Y/n? What's going on? -He yawned.

-I fucked up. -You pased. -Again.

-What? Why?

-I'm in your apartment with Carlos, except he's in his room and I'm in yours.

-How? Didn't you have your date? I don't understand, why would you be in separate rooms...

-We were about to...

-You don't have to say it, I can't believe I let him stay in my apartment, continue.

-Well, that but the night before I...-You didn't wanna say it.

-You what? You can't leave me hanging like this, it's 3 in the morning, I barely answered your call.

-I had sex with Pierre and me and Carlos were about to, you know, do it but I told him, I didn't want him to find out later by someone else and he was upset, he left the apartment for like an hour and then he came back, he just helped me get into bed and he left to his room, he didn't let me explain, I just...I don't know Charles, I mean, I know I did nothing wrong but I still feel guilty.

-Let me process everything you just told me. -You heard him sigh. -First of all, you had sex with your ex???

-It's not like I planned it, the moment got the best of me. He was there, looking the way he looks, and it's not like I didn't know him. It just happened. I didn't know that the next day I would see Carlos, let alone go on our first date, and that what had to happen would happen. Don't judge me!

-I'm not judging you, sister, I just didn't know you were the type of girl who sleeps with her ex.

-Neither did I, but also, four days before being with Pierre, I had sex with Lando, so apparently I am that kind of girl. -You put a pillow on your face and screamed.

-Woah!! I'm too surprised, I don't even know how to react honestly. Two exes in less than a week, who would have thought.

-I'm the worst.

-No, you're not Y/n. You are single or were? Are you with Carlos now?

-I mean...we're dating I guess, at this point I don't know if we'll get to the point of boyfriend and girlfriend.

-You'll get there, the guy is truly, madly, deeply in love with you. You will be fine, it surely hurt him, obviously, we all know he never liked your thing with Pierre, and finding out about what happened... Don't worry, tomorrow he will be calm and will want to talk.

-He didn't say anything to you?

-Nope, I didn't have any text from him, look, it's weird, I support you guys but it is weird, I guess he sometimes feels uncomfortable because you're my sister, he can't tell me certain things, you know?

-You have a point...anyway, thank you Charles, I'm sorry I woke you, I'll try to relax and hopefully me and Carlos will be okay in the morning.

-You'll see, little sister, rest up. Let me know if you need anything, love you.

-Love you too!

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So...Carlos now knows about her and Pierre, at least she told him, right?🥹
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