CHAPTER 54: CAMERA PTSD

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And the filming began.
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*Blink*

Green blinking light. That was what indicated that the camera was rolling now. They were being filmed.

*Blink*

Yoongi was making him feel good. He couldn't help but get more aroused as the seconds passed.

He had his hands entangled in the elder's hair, unintentionally ruining the perfectly styled hair.

And Yoongi?... Yoongi felt like he was in cloud nine as his lips sucked on his nipples, new red hickies scattered around his chest and abdomen. They were both shirtless now, their shirt long discarded to a corner of the room.

The old bruises were still visible , but that was the least of Yoongi's worry. He still loved him regardless. His hands found their way to his nipples, pleasuring the younger.

And the moans that left the younger's lips were like music to Yoongi's ears. The only music he could listen to and never get tired of.

*Blink*That damn camera.

Hoseok was enjoying everything that Yoongi was doing to him. It felt like heaven. He never thought he could get this aroused... but why did it feel like something was wrong?

*Blink*

The camera! Yes it's the camera. Despite his eyes being closed, he could still feel the blinking light every few seconds.

A moan escaped his lips when he felt Yoongi's tongue on his navel...

*Blink* again!

Maybe agreeing to film all these was a bad idea. He was sure he would have been fine if that damn camera wasn't there.

*Blink* god please let that blinking stop!

Old memories were beginning to flash, and he feared it might destroy the now close relationship between him and Yoongi. Especially their intimacy right now.

He didn't want that. He wanted Yoongi to make love to him, fuck him and make him feel good. He'd always wanted that ever since he'd realized his feelings for the elder.

*Blink*

But the camera placed at the furthest corner of the room seemed to be a villain in his dreams come true fairly tale.

*Blink* it won't stop!

He should have known better. Stupid him. Did he think that he could overcome all his fears just in one sitting? It was pretty obvious that the trauma of being filmed getting raped by old rags was still there.

"Blink."

He wasn't himself right now, he could still feel Yoongi around him, pleasuring him, making him feel good. But he needed to stop that camera. Or else he'd end up with a panic attack. And that was the last thing he wanted in this moment.

So when he felt Yoongi's hand, slid into his short he flinched, so vigorously that Yoongi noticed immediately. His thin hands unconsciously grabbed on the elder's wrist immediately, stopping him from going any further. He was visibly shivering, eyes tightly shut, as tears peaked out from the corner.

Yoongi understood quickly, letting go of his shot immediately. "It's alright sweetheart." He whispered, pulling him closer to his chest for a cuddled hug. "It's alright." He kept assuring the shivering male, gently caressing his fingers through his hair.

Hoseok broke down to tears. "I- im so s- sorry! I didn't want it to turn out this way. I'm sorry."He muttered admist tears, hiding his face in the elder's chest.

"Hey sweetheart, there's no reason to blame yourself! It's alright okay?" Yoongi tried to assure, patting his hair gently.

*Blink* why could he still feel it recording even when he was facing away from it?'

"T- the ca- camera-..." he paused, taking in a heavy breath, tears refusing to stop.

"You want me to pause it?" Yoongi asked, already gripping the remote, waiting for the younger's approval.

Hoseok nodded his head, and Yoongi did just that.

"It's okay sweetheart. Yoongi kept assuring.

A short time passed and Hoseok was slowly getting calm. His breathing became even and his shivering stopped.

He pulled away from the elder's chest, sitting up. Yoongi sat up too, studying the younger's face.

"How are you feeling now." Yoongi tried to ask.

Hoseok could only nod as he cowered into himself, hiding his face between his knees, letting his arms wrap around his legs for support.

"Do You mind telling me what caused it?"

Hoseok raised his head up, looking at the camera. It's red blinking light signaling that it was on pause. He shivered a little, old memories which he'd tried to wipe away several times came flashing. He quickly looked away from the camera, hiding his face between his knees.

Yoongi followed his gaze, realizing he had his attention on the camera. He looked back at him and couldn't fail to notice how tensed he was with just the sight of that damn camera.

"Is it the camera?"

Hoseok stilled for a second, looking up at the elder, before giving an hesitant nod. "I- I'm sorry, I d- didn't know it'll trigger b- back o- old me- memories." He said with broken voice, tears beginning to fall back again.

Now Yoongi wondered what hell they must have kept him through for him to be afraid of a blinking video recorder. No wonder he never saw any of his videos in his old phone. Only pictures.

His heart sank seeing him this down. He wished he could end everything in an instant and make the boy the happiest forever.

"Sshhh baby. What have I told you about apologizing?" Yoongi hushed gently, pulling the younger closer to himself, wrapping his arms around him the moment he was close.

"I- I thought you were gonna be an- angry that I ruined everything."

"No! Why would I be angry? And you didn't ruin anything cupcake. It's alright, okay? And I'm not angry. At all. In fact I'm happy that you were able to stop me before it went out of hand." Yoongi said rubbing his bare back gently, trying to sooth the younger. It was working.

"It shows that you're now able to voice out your feelings without fear." Yoongi continued. "And I think I should be the one to blame here. Maybe I should have used another camera that was less obvious."

Hoseok gave a light giggle, resting his head on the elder's shoulder, enjoying how soothing Yoongi's large hand was rubbing against his back. "Hyung, you just said no one is at fault, why are you putting the blame on yourself now?" He asked rhetorically.

Yoongi heart bloomed, a smile appearing on his face, knowing that he made the younger giggle. "Yeah you're right, I think it's no one's fault."

"C- can we do it again? I- I mean s- start again." Hoseok asked nervously, pink hue beginning to form on his cheeks.

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