Survive ( twd carlgrimes)

Chapter 13

CARL'S POV.

Where are they?
They have been gone just over an hour now. Dad said he'd be back before then.
I start to get a nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach. I'm not sure why. I know dad is fine. He can take care of himself. It's the others I'm worried about. What if they get separated ?

I sigh and shake the thought from my head. It's really boring here, usually Michonne is with me. My best friend makes even the long days seem a little shorter. She knows how to make me laugh.

"Carl, don't worry. They said they'd be back in an hour. They'll be back any minute now." Maggie reassures me.
The confidence in her tone comforts me. She's obviously just as sure about Glenn as I am of dad coming home safe and sound.

"What about Madison? She's never even been out there. She doesn't know what it's like."
"She's fine, trust me. She's had worse. And here I was thinking that you were worrying about your dad." she teases.
"I was, I mean I am." I lie.
Maggie sees straight through me and raises a brow.
"She's just new to all this." I say concerned.
"So were you once and you turned out fine. Honestly Carl, you don't need to worry about her. She seems... feisty."

Suddenly the door swings open.
I jump to my feet and walk over so that i'm in view of the door. I catch Maggie rolling her eyes playfully.
Michonne walks in first, Glenn close on her tail and he makes his way over to Maggie.

Then Madison and dad walk in, both are holding their hands to their heads. Part of me is surprised to see her back here at all. Her hands are stained red with blood, but not as bad as dads.
I have a feeling that Madison is a magnet for danger or maybe just unnecessary accidents.

I run to my dad, but another part of me wants me to go talk to Madison, but of course she walks past me and heads straight to her sister.
My dad smiles in relief when he see's me, even though he was the one who went out, not me. He wraps one arm around me. We don't hug much. I'm just relieved he's safe.

"I was worried." I admit.
"Why?" He questions.
"I don't know, I had a strange feeling..."
...that you were gonna kill the girl.
I eye him suspiciously. Maybe he tried to it would explain why both of them have injured heads.
"What happened to your head?"

He rolls his eyes and huffs.
"She thought we were gonna kill her family. So she ran, I tried to catch her but she dodged me and I hit my head off a tree." He explains
"And her?" I say trying to contain my curiosity
"I tackled her and she hit her head off the ground." He tells me.
"Oh." Is all I can say.

"Are you okay?" I ask.
"I'm fine, the bleeding has stopped now." He tells me.
"Did you ask her the questions?" I ask nervously. All she had to do was answer one question wrong and she could blow it, she wouldn't be allowed stay in the group. It's happened before.

"Yeah, I did." He replies with a sigh.
"And..." I push.
"I think she's okay and her family too, although i'm not sure how long they'll last." He whispers the last part.
"They will, we can teach them." I say, hopeful.
"We'll see."
"Does that mean they're staying?"

"Possibly. I'll tell you later, I have to figure out the rest of them. Abbie and her mother look like they wouldn't hurt a fly, but I have to find out more about Nick."
"Get her something to eat too. She's just skin and bones. Get those squirrels on a spit."
"Alright". I sigh while turning on my heel, but dad catches my arm quickly.

"Carl, are you okay?"
The question throws me off. I'm not the one who left.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"You've been acting different."

I'm not really fine, I mean, who is ? Everyday is the same old shit. Wake up, starve, look for food, avoid getting ambushed, give up looking for food, starve, travel into the next region to scavenge and maybe if we're lucky we'll find something edible. Then go to bed and do it all over again.

The past few days have mixed up the schedule. It's been different, maybe that's why I feel different.

Even now, looking at the food that's been brought home, I'm still starving, that much hasn't changed from the schedule. I miss the days when fast food was as easy to get as snapping your fingers. My mom was a terrible cook, but even now I wouldn't pass up on her shitty Sunday pancakes.

I think about my mom a lot. She's been dead a while now, since Judith was born. We had to deal with things quickly when she gave birth. I had to deal with things quickly....
It didn't go to plan. Nothing ever does.

I still remember holding my gun up to her unconscious head. Blood everywhere, there was no hope for her but I wasn't leaving her down there to turn into one of those things.

Nobody here could possibly know the pain of loving someone from the minute you were born, growing up with them, learning from them, trusting them as much as they trust you and then having to kill them. Their own parent. 

I miss her and I think of her every night. I have dreams of her dying and sometimes I dream that she didn't die at all. Ironically, those are worse because I find myself looking for her when I wake and then remember what I've done.
"I'm fine." I tell him once more before turning and walking away.

I walk over to the kitchen and look at what food we have. I see a bit of bread and a pot half filled with jam so I make her a shitty excuse for a jam sandwich. This place really was a jackpot. We haven't had this much food since the prison.

I walk over to Madison, I feel kinda nervous.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid...
She sits next to Abbie, holding something to her head to try stop the bleeding. Abbie looks worried but I overhear Madison reassuring her that everything is alright.

"Ummm.... Madison?" I say
Her head snaps up.  I can tell she's shocked but she forces a smile across her face anyways.
"Oh, hey Carl."
"Uh, here. Dad told me to give you this." I say stupidly while handing her the sandwich.

I think I hear her chuckle but her smile catches me off guard and then she says "He did? Thanks."
She clears her throat before speaking again.
"So when are we gonna go into the... you know, next door?" She asks.
I shudder at the thought of what used to happen in there.
"I don't know, maybe a half hour or so." I reply.
"Okay."
She takes a big bite out of her sandwich.

Before it gets awkward, from the silence, I leave and sit on the couch next to Michonne.
She smiles widely showing off her bright teeth, and i'm unable to not smile back.
"What?" I say laughing.
"Guess what I found today?"
I'm about to ask what, but she takes something out from behind her back and sprays it at me. I'm laughing so hard as the yellow stuff goes everywhere. String cheese.  I notice that the others are laughing too.

After a few minutes of silence my dad speaks up.
"Okay guys, we're going into the other building after we eat. Pack your things and get ready to leave.

Madison comes up and sits beside me on the couch.
"I'm going into the building and I'm gonna find myself a temporary weapon." she tells me.
Temporary?
"Why would you want to do that to yourself?"
"I don't care, it couldn't be any worse than every other time i've been in there."

I sigh, she's very stuborn.
"I need to talk to your dad about something later." She tells me.
Curiosity gets the best of me.
"What do you need to talk to my dad for?"

She hesitates, unsure whether to answer me or not.
"I need to go back to my house, it's not far from here, maybe a day's journey on foot." She tells me.
"Why do you need to go to your house?"
She sighs "You ask a lot of questions" but she continues
"There's something very important there that I want."
"What's so important that you would go out on a days journey to find, if it's even still there" I ask
"Don't worry about it." She says while swiftly getting up and walking away before I can ask any more questions.