Survive ( twd carlgrimes)

Chapter 104

MADISONS POV.
I jumped off of Carls waist and he pulled me close to him as Abbie ran up to me and I hugged her again and kissed her forehead.
"How did you know I was still alive?" I asked Carl.
"I didn't, but your sister refused to give up. She knew, somehow she knew. Then I saw the signs and I knew." He admits. I look down to Abbie.
"How did you know?"
She smiles and replies " I had hope because when it felt like the whole world was saying "no", the voice in the back of my head said "maybe"."
A smile creeps along my face. Carl drags me over to Rick so he could be reunited with Judith. Carl took Judith and I hugged Rick.
"Thank you, I thought she was dead for sure. I thought you were dead."
"We don't give up that easily." I whisper into his shoulder. I pull away from the hug and quickly wipe away his tears that escaped. I was nearly tackled to the ground when Maggie came over to me. I didn't have time to react and then finally I threw my arms around her shoulders. Beth joins and I hug her. "I have so much to tell you." I whisper in her ear. Shes my best friend and I need to get the Luke kissing thing off my chest. She laughs "I missed you too." 

I take my time huging everyone and reuniting. Everyone was happy until I realised Eugine stood in the corner alone and scared. He should be.
I march up to him as he held his arms up defensively. I punch him in the face and he stumbles back. Carol pulls me back and tells me to calm down.
"CALM DOWN? This asshole left a baby alone in a burning building to burn." I shriek. I lunge at him again but Glenn holds me back, but there was really no point as Rick pushes past everyone and nails Eugine with his fist. Eugine falls to the ground unconscious. A wave of satisfaction floods through me.
"I found her bawling her eyes out in my room, smoke everywhere. He left her to rot." I explain aloud. Everyone understands how she was left behind now.
"The fire wasn't accidental. Dawn got out with the other two goons. She killed them and she set the building on fire after pouring gasoline everywhere. I killed her. Then I went upstairs and got Judith and then Thyrese..." I explain by couldn't finish.
"Thyrese? You saw him?" Sasha pushes past everyone to look me in the eyes. I couldn't look at her. I avoided her eyes and she knew why. I watched her break slowly until I tell her and then she will finally explode. Thats how I used to feel, but now I put all my feelings into a bottle. Bottle it up. Don't feel, don't think, just keep going.
"Sasha... He...." I couldn't finish. All I could do was shake my head and she knew immediately what happened. She fell to her knees and I heard the desperate sobs heaving from within her chest.
"How?" She manages to choke out.
"The fire killed him.... In his sleep." I tell her.
Put it in the bottle Madison.
I can feel the bottle getting full and i'm afraid it's going to spill over soon.
Her quiet cries became louder and more hurting. I don't ever want to feel that feeling again, I know the pain of losing a brother. I've known the pain of losing two. I walk away and so do most people so that we can give Sasha privacy.

The fire crackles and the stars shine down. It took awhile for everyones spirits to go back to normal after the news but when they did we all gathered around the fire minus Sasha and Eugine. It reminded me to back in the kitchen in the hospital, when we ate our dinner together, as a family. I avoid Luke and any eye contact with him. He sits parallel to me, the otherside of the fire. I hear Beth singing quietly and I sit beside Carl and Abbie. I notice the lack of firewood and I stand up.
"Where are you goin" Rick asks.
"Theres barely any wood left, i'm gonna get some more." I tell him.
"I'll come too." Carl says standing up.

We walk into the forest and I can feel the smirk on my lips spreading. My intention was to get the firewood when I was alone. But now..... When Carl is with me, firewood is the last thing on my mind right now. We walk further away from the camp and I think we both know why. As soon as we're far enough away Carl pushes me against the tree and kisses me playfully. His hands slide from my shoulders, down my arms, along my waist and he keeps going. He pushes his body against mine and I crave it more and more. All I want is more. I break away from the kiss to reach for the hem of his shirt and pull it over his head. My hands trail down his naked chest and across his stomach, my eyes drinking him in, until finally I look up to reconnect our lips. They move in sync as he unbuttons my jeans and I undo his.
He leaves a trail of kisses from the back of my ear and down my neck, he surely left a mark. My whole body feels like its been ignited. His hands cup my flushed cheeks as he deepens the kiss and next my top is off and i'm layed on the ground. I pant trying to regain my breath and then he reminds me of how much i've missed him.
*****************************
We walked back to camp hand in hand talking about different things on the way back, mostly about Abbie. He tells me about how brave she was.
"She wasn't afraid of anything. She was brave enough to fight the walkers on her own and to take care of Will when he landed on her. She never changed though. She was still kind, she comforted me when I thought you were dead, even though it should have been the other way around. She's the purest soul alive, she's like my sister now." He told me. I smile, its funny how our time apart has brought us all closer together. We finally reach camp and everyone looks up.
"Well you took your time, didn't ya's" daryl grumbles
"Hey..... I thought you said you were going for firewood... Where is it?" Glenn questions. We freeze racking our brains for a realistic excuse but the snickers around camp pretty much explained what happened.
"Ughh yeah i put it behind the tree." I lie.
Maggies eyes square playfully. She sits beside her best friend Abbie.
"Oh really? So why is there loads of twigs and moss in your hair Mads?"
My blood flushes in my cheeks and I want the ground to cave in so I don't have to be in this situation.
"I... I fell." I stutter.
"Mmm hmmm." She hums. I grab Beths hand and drag her into the forest to where we should have been and we begin to gather logs.
"Damn, you couldn't have at least cleaned up a little before you came back." She snickers and lays the logs on the ground so she can pick the twigs and moss out of my hair.
"Must have been good sex we could hear you from camp." She says.
I drop my wood. "WHAT?"
"Jeez Mads I was kidding." She says through fits of laughter.
"Holy shit. Your neck is destroyed." She says and I look down as much as I can and see the hickeys left on my shoulder and neck.
"What am I meant to do?" I ask frantic.
"Not let Rick see." She says.
I nudge her. "Not funny, help me i'm freaking out over here." I say while picking my wood back up.
"Okay okay. Maggie has a scarf in her bag but when you go into camp make sure your neck is covered by your hair." She says while picking out the last of the twigs and combing her fingers through it to straighten it out. I let my heartrate decrease and I begin to gather more wood. When our arms are full we walk back.
"So I need to tell you something." I say.
"Ok, shoot."
"Well, Luke kissed me."
"What!"
"He kissed me and then I started to kiss him back, but then I stopped it." I rush.
"Oh man, Carls gonna be so pissed at you. You kiss his enemy and then sleep with Carl without telling him beforehand? Good work Mads. Your in for it." She cringes for me.
"Enemy? Beth, they're friends." I say.
"Not since I last checked. Didn't you wonder why Lukes face was busted up?" She informs me. I gasp.
"Carl did that?" I nearly yell.
"Ah yeah, he nearly got both of them killed?" She states obviously.
"How?"
"Walkers were coming, Luke confessed his love for you and Carl got jealous or mad... Maybe both." She explains
"Luke said he loves me?" I gawk.
"Yeah but you knew that. Didn't you?"
"No I just thought he had feelings for me." I say. I try to clear my spinning head. I need to tell him about the kiss.
"I need to tell Carl."
It went silent for a minute.
"Do you like him... Luke?"
"What? No..... Maybe... No. I havn't even thought about it since just now. I stopped him because I love Carl. Its always gonna be Carl." I tell her.
We get close to camp now.
"This stays between you and me. Don't tell anyone." I tell her.
"My lips are sealed." She whispers as we walk back into camp and put the wood beside the camp. I look to see Rick tightening the trap I made so the walkers that got through would fall. I sit beside Abbie who clutches her barbie doll. Beth hands me the scarf and sits beside me. I put on the scarf and take the small portain of food that Carol hands me. I scarffle it down, its the most i've eaten in days.
"You managed to rescue her from the fire?" I say pointing to her barbie.
"You know me, knight in shinning armour." She shrugs with a smile. I laugh. She hands me my bag I lost a while back by the herd.
"Thanks." I look through it finding the polaride picture of us.
"I love that one." She points out.
"Yeah me too."
"Here you can keep this safe for me." She says pulling out our family portrait from her bag. I look at my mom, dad, Ben, Nick and me in the picture. We were too little to remember this being taken.
"Look even you managed your way into the picture." I laugh pointing to my mothers swollen belly.
Abbie laughs.
"I wish I knew dad." She sighs.
"Mom made him leave. But he was a great man. Kinda crazy, but a brilliant man. He'd be with us now if he were alive. I know he would." I say.
"Anyways we should go to sleep. Its dark now and everyone is getting ready for some shut-eye." I say.
She jumps up. "I'll go find us a spot." She explains. I ignore the pit in my stomach as I walk up to the blue eyed boy.
"Hey Carl I need to talk to you." I say pulling him aside.
"You okay?" He asks looking me over for cuts, scratches, anything.
"I'm fine... I guess. It's just... Luke, he..." I couldn't get the sentence out without wondering how he would react. Carl rarely gets angry wih me from our bickering and if he does he quickly forgives me with a kiss within minutes, but i'm not so sure on this one. He looks at me confused, then looks to Luke, then back to me. His eyes suddenly widen and then square and his Jaw tenses as he connects the dots.
"What did he do?" He spits behind clenched teeth.
"He...kissed me."
Carl pushes me back and marches towards Luke but I grab Carl and pull him back only for him to shoot an angry glare at me and rip away from me again. I decide on a different technique and I jump on his back, shocking him and throwing him off balence. I then cover his eyes so he can't see anything.
"It's not worth the scene, Carl. It was nothing. I stopped it, it barely lasted ten seconds." I tell him. I wait for his rapid rising chest to slow until I jump off his back and lead him back to the trees.
"I'm yours and your mine, Carl. Thats all that matters nothing else." I tell him and he nods. He is still really pissed though I can tell. He walks away.
"Don't lay a finger on him Carl." I warn. He stops in his tracks and turns to look at me. He storms back to my side.
"Are you kidding me? You defend him after he kissed you. You can't be freaking serious Mads." He shouts.
"Yeah I am actually. And if you hurt him I swear walkers will look so tame next to me. That kiss meant nothing. It changes nothing! Luke is still and always will be my best friend and I will always love you. See... It changed nothing." I argue back. "Ok?"
He hesitates glaring at Luke until he looks back to me and then he calmly nods his head. "Yeah, okay."
"I love you." He whispers in my ear pulling me into a hug.
"I love you more." I reply.
"Not possible."
******************************
I walked over to Abbie who was lying on the ground with a coat used as a blanket. I lie beside her and look at her cuddling her barbie. We lay a little further from the others so we could talk and laugh at our silly jokes and just talk about all the things we had done when we were apart. Finally it got really late and it was so dark I couldn't see Abbie's face, only the stars that shone above us. We look up at them.
"Do you think there is such thing as heaven." Abbie asks randomly.
"The impossible happened. The dead came back to feed on us. So who knows, maybe it is. I think anything can be real if you want it to be." I whisper.
"Do you think mom and dad are up there? And Nick and Ben too." She asks
"I bet they're together. Dancing with the stars." I whisper and she chuckles.
"I hope when my time comes I'll be with them." She whispers.
"That won't be for a long time Abbie. Until your late seventies or eighties. Just like it's meant to be. And when i'm up there looking down to you. I'll still be with you." I tell her. I hear her yawn.
"We better go to sleep" I giggle.
"Night Maddie."
"Night Abbie. I love you."
"I love you too."
****************************
I drift to sleep and I wait for the light of the sun to let colours dance around my vision through closed eyes, but it never happens. Instead of the warmth of the sun and the colours of the light on my eyelids I'm woken by a scream. An earsplitting scream. And worst of all a familar scream.
My eyes snap open to find a walker hovering over me, fresh blood pooling from and around its mouth. I let out a yelp and quickly kick my heel up to kick it in the face. It stumbles back and I get off the ground grabbing the walker by the neck. I kick its feet out from underneath it and drag it to the ground. I repeatedly stomp on its head until it stops moving. Everyone is awake and silent. That is until I hear the quiet choking sound coming from where I was sleeping. I slowly turn around to find Abbie lying on the ground lying in a pool of her own blood. Everything after that seems like it went in slow motion. I lunged for Abbie to help her, I dropped to my knees. My hands fly everywhere trying to help her but I can't. All I can do is watch as she chokes on her own blood. Her red blood stains her clothes, her barbies hair and her pale face. I remember her earsplitting scream that woke me and then I notice the deep bite taken from her neck by our uninvited guest.
Boom!
The bottle hasn't spilt over.
It just fucking exploded.