Survive ( twd carlgrimes)

Chapter 45

CARL'S POV

I sit huddled up on the church steps, trying to stay warm as the string wind around me whips through my clothes and drives my hair crazy. I hold onto my hat so it doesn't fly off. I try desperately to get rid of the feeling in my stomach that hasn't left my stomach since I seen dad and Nick dragging Madison from the forest.

I sit impatiently for the group to come back with good news. Only Judith, Nick, Abbie, Madison and Rosita are inside. I secretly wonder if Dad and the others have run into the people they were running from earlier.
Where is this enemy group?
There's no doubt that they have Bob, it just makes sense.
I wonder if he's still alive or if he's in pain.

I place my head in my hands and rub away the thin sheet of sweat that's gathered in my forehead. My hands are covered in blood when I finally let them fall into my lap. I sigh and spit out the metallic taste from my mouth. Nick got me pretty good if I'm being honest.
I touch my jaw and regret it immediately as I starts to throb worse than it had before.

I wait a while longer but it's getting dark and nobody has returned so I use the railing to help pull me back to my feet and walk back inside. The first thing I notice is that there isn't a soul in sight. Abbie and Rosita must have joined Nick in the back room, leaving a battered Madison alone on the table.

I sigh and finally grow a pair. I stride up to her until I can feel the heat of her body against my skin. I grab her hand and brush away her waves hair that falls untimely out of her loose braid. I notice dried blood still on her face and I continue Abbies job by grabbing the cloth with my free hand and dunking it into the cold water in the bucket.

I very gently wash away the blood, staying clear of the new stitches and the skin around it that's turned a deep purple around the now puckered, red scar. I scrub the blood off her arms, lifting them to get between the crease of her elbow and the inside of her wrist. Her hair is also matted with it too but I can't do much about that now.

"Come on Mads, please. Just wake up. Anytime soon would be great."
The lack of response makes the silence surrounding us painful and I feel a hollowness settle in my chest.
"Look, I've lost a lot of people and... I just don't want to add your name to that list."

I take a deep breath.
"I need you, a lot more than you know... Back at that barn you asked me what kept me going, and I said hope. Lately, I've been running out of that. I think you're what that keeps me going."

"It's funny how the world is overrun with monsters out there and I was more afraid to tell you that then facing them." I lift my hand to wipe away betraying tears before they fall. 

I squeeze her hand hoping that she might just magically wake up and say
'Oh, hey Carl. Quit starring you freak!'
She'd grab her bow and we'd go outside to climb trees or some shit and she'd tease me for climbing so slow. She's always doing weird shit but what I'd give to do it again.
But I guess thats not happening.

I lift my head when I hear footsteps approaching. Abbie walks out of the back room and hops onto the corner of the table, next to Mads.
"If she doesn't wake up i'll kill her myself." Abbie jokes.
"Are you okay?" I ask.
"My sister, my only sister was almost shot in the head and is on the verge of death. How could I possible be okay?." She whispers, a tears glisten in her eyes and I struggle to find comforting words before she breaks down, but nothing I could say would really be true and they wouldn't be enough for her to know she'll talk to her sister again.

"I really don't know what to tell you Abbie. I can't lie and pretend everything is okay."
She nods understandingly. "You're the first person to answer me honestly. Everyone else tells me it'll be okay and not to worry but you're honest. People like to coddle me because I'm so young, sometimes even Maddie does that too. They underestimate me but I'm not as small and defenseless as they may think. But not you, you treat me differently, equally."