Survive ( twd carlgrimes)

chapter 112

Madisons pov.
The car rolls to a stop and I peer out the front window. I vagely hear Michonne and Rick talking but i'm too distracted by the large walls surrounding the view that is supposedly the community aaron told us about. Sure enough beside the main fence is a sign that says;
"Alexandrea."

When I break my contact with the large fence I find Michonne slightly holding Ricks hand in comfort. The gesture looks more intimate than I think either of them intended it to be and for some odd reason that bothered me. I decided to look away from them and pretend I didnt see anything. The others in the car behind us start to get out and I decide the same. I grab my bow and put my quiver of arrows on my back. I hop out of the car and Rick grabs Judith and follows the rest of us, as does Michonne.

The outside of the fence is surrounded by the forest which I like because I have the advantage of getting out of this place if it isnt what they told us it was. This could be a trap and we are walking straight into it. I don't like this at all. I look around me to notice Luke pass me.
"Whats wrong?" He asks looking concerned.
"It's just...... where's all the walkers? There's not one in sight. I don't like this Luke. Something's wrong, something will happen, its a trap."
"You don't know that Mads" he says while rubbing my arm to relax me but I shrug him off. "But your still willing to take the chance? Luke, chances get you killed nowadays. We don't chance our lives on a maybe." I scold. He sighs and walks on towards the gate. I look into a near by building that stands tall outside the large fence. Inside the window is a girl with blonde hair.
No. Not this again.
Abbie stands small with a frown as she stares at me through the window. Blood pours from the wound where she was bitten when she died. I feel my breaths become short and ragged. I start to back away until I bump into something behind me. I swirl around, knife in hand ready to kill a walker until a strong hand comes flying up to catch my own, stopping my knife from entering the base of its skull.
"Jeez Mads!" It warns.
"Carl?" I gasp from lack of air.
I feel my own eyes widen and tears brim at my eyes.
"Mads, what's wrong?" He asks as his brows knit together and he places his hands on my shoulders. It's funny how even with the simplest gesture he makes butterflies flutter in my stomach. Instead of answering him I whirl around and stare at her again. I back up again and his chest collides with my back. He wraps his arms around me from behind and whispers in my ear.
"Just tell me. Are you hurt? Are you worried? What's wron- .... oh.... she's here isn't she?" He murmurs.
I nod slightly.
He walks in front of me blocking me from her.
He places his hands on either side of my face and I feel myself calm slightly, but I still try to peer around him to see if she's still there.
"Mads...Mads stop. Listen to me. Listen to my voice. She's not there." He whispers in my ear, making the hair on my arms stand. I still can't think straight. I'm still panicking.
"Look at me. Look in my eyes." He orders me and I do. I look into his eyes and nearly forget my problems as the blue in his eyes remind me of the ocean, drowning my haunted thoughts. Without thinking I wrap my arms around him and he pulls me close. I know he's confused but I can't tell him I still love him because either I will lose him and then finally lose myself or he loses me and needs to try to hard to let go. It's too painful. I won't have him go through that.
"You will be the death of me Mads." He whispers.
I pull away and he walks me to the gate where everyone is waiting, although they weren't looking. Carl's hand rests on my lower back. I glance at the window again and she's still there. I stiffen and Carl notices because he shakes his head and I understand so I give a small smile back to him.

When we reach the gate its quickly opened. I reach for an arrow to load in my bow and I feel the ghost of Carls hand leave my back when he reaches for his gun. I shake off the thought. We all step inside to find Aaron and his boyfriend, who travelled with us, whispering in the gate guards ear. The man stiffens and straightens up and I notice his tight grip on his gun.
"You can leave your weapons outside the fence for now." The guard speaks up. I look around at all the town people and I realised im still covered in blood from head to toe.
I look to my right and I see a boy my age with brown hair starring at me like I have ten heads. I would say he was attractive if I could actually concentrate on anything right now. My head is too messed up after seeing her. I look back to my own group and hear Rick say "why?"
"Well if your gonna stay you need to leave your weapons outside." The man explains.
"We don't know if we wanna stay and dont you think if we wanted to use them on you we would've already." Rick spits. The man is about to respond but Aaron stops him.
"Look, it doesnt matter. We'll just bring them to Deanna for now and she can sort everything out." He says in a hushed tone even though we all heard him.
"Who's Deanna?" Abraham yells.
"She's the woman in charge here. You will see her shortly. Come with me." Aaron announces. As he told us to do so, we followed him to the back of someones house. They actually have houses. They're huge and there are so many of them. In the middle of the garden a small plump woman holds a trolly.
"Y-you can l-leave your weapons h-here." she stutters and her figure shakes in fear. I can't help but find the slightest bit of humour from her behaviour. Everyone leaves their weapons with the woman on the trolly apart from Daryl and myself as we dont have guns. He has his crossbow and I have my bow. Im glad she didnt ask for it because I wouldn't have given it to her and I don't care if I caused a scene. Carol is acting strange. Like a way more politer version of herself. It would be believeable to these towns people, but to me its clearly fake. We are led away again to the front of another house only its larger than the last and it looks more like a.....home.
A man with gray hair and circular glasses steps onto the porch.
"Welcome to Alexandrea! I'm Deanna's husband, my name is Reg Monroe. She's inside and she'll take each of you individually to ask you some questions and then w-"
"Questions? What questions?" I blurt.
"I'm not sure. You'll know when she asks you." He tells me with a smile and for some odd reason I feel the need to box the smile off his face, even though he's given me no reason to do so.
"She will take the man or woman in charge now and then the rest of you will follow.... seperately." He tells us and I feel the fear creep up inside me.
"NO!" Me and Carl shout at the same time. We look at each other and then to Rick then to Reg. I know we are both thinking the exact same thing. This could be a trap and Rick will have to walk in there defensless to his possible death. Rick is practically my dad and he actually is Carl's. I can't lose anyone else. I can't. I won't.
"No way, i'll go first. It won't make a difference who goes in what order if what your saying is true." I say harshly to Reg.
"Excuse me girl, are you trying to tell me that you think we are leading this man to his death inside?" He accuses angrily.
"Not just me. Everyone is thinking it." I state.
He rolls his eyes as if this behaviour is normal to him.
"I can assure you that this is not the case." He promises.
"Words!" I spit. Its so easy for people to lie. He sighs heavily.
"Fine. Just to prove you wrong. You can go first and come out alive and show everyone its safe to go in." He says in a monotone.
I walk forward and Carl catches my hand. "Don't" he pleads but I just pull my hand away and keep walking. I feel awful because he just helped me but i'm not taking any chances. I walk towards Reg, tightening my grip on my  bow but suddenly im pulled back by someone. I turn around and see Rick.
"Im not letting you go in there!" I mumble so only he can hear.
"And you thought I was gonna let you? I know why you dont want me going in there but I have to." He explains.
"No Rick you dont. You have Carl and Judith and even me so why would you risk it?" I bargin.
"Im doing it because I have you, Carl and Judith." he tells me as he walks past me and into the house followed by Reg, who quietly closes the door behind them.

The rest of our group stands far away from the house like we were instructed to earlier.
"I dont like this Michonne. Somethings not right." I say quietly while I stand next to her.
"why do you say that? You havn't given this place a chance." She reminds me.
"Even if we did stay, we'd never fit in. People are staring at us and some are genuinly afraid of us. These people aren't like us. They've been hiding behind these stupid walls while the rest of us have been fighting, surviving, doing things people should never have to do. They dont know what this world is. They are weak." I rant. She sighs.
"Stupid walls? Tell me Mads, if you had these walls from the beginning would you have stayed safe behind them?" She pushes because she knows im being stupid and she knows im wrong even if this place is a trap.
"No." I lie.
"I think your lying. You would have been the first to swoop up on that offer so your family could live." She points out.
"Yeah? Well all my family are dead now, but even at the beginning we were still locked in those damned train carts being tortured so it doesnt matter now anyways." I snap at her.
She opens her mouth to say something but then closes it, her eyes still wide from what I said.
"Look Mads im sorry, I know your not yourself and you've been going through too much for a woman of your age but Abbie-"
"Don't!...... don't say her name, dont talk about her. Just let it go. End of conversation." I say harshly, breathing heavily.
"Okay. We won't talk about that topic, but im still talking because when your quiet, your mind wonders and when your mind wonders you...." she trails not able to finish.
"I go crazy." I finish for her.
"right."
My hands are sweaty and I fidget with the string on my bow, rubbing it between my thumb and index fingers.
"I'm nervous too. About Rick being in there and us being here." She says taking note of my actions. I just nod and a few silent minutes pass between   us as the others mumble to each other.
"Michonne?"
"Yeah?"
"What did Rick mean when he said 'Im doing it because I have you, Carl and Judith'?"
She sighs quietly while thinking of her answer. "I think he meant he had to do it so he knew you guys had safety even if it meant risking his. He's a father and its his instict to take care of his children. He's also a leader and its his job to look after his people. But his children will always come first. We all know that. We all understand it because we're all family. Thats what he meant. He will never let anything happen to any of you and he'd die trying to save you."
Just as she finishes I hear the door open from the house and close again and I watch as Rick walks towards us, not a scratch on him. He nods to me to show its okay and he slightly smiles and for the first time in a long time I smile back at my father figure as someone by the door yells
"Next."
And one by one each of our family members come in and out of the door until i'm the last person and Reg calls for me to enter his house.
I walk inside.