Survive ( twd carlgrimes)

chapter 108

Ricks pov.

We kept running away from the herd hoping to lose their trail. I look back to make sure everyones okay. Except not everyone was there. I stopped so suddenly in my tracks that Gabriel, Sasha and Glen ran into me at once. I stumbled but continued to look for my son. I look around to see Madison isn't with us either. My heart nearly stops as I feel sweat form at the back of my neck.

No no no no no!
this can't be happening.

"Rick, whats wrong? why d'you stop " Glen asks.
I look forward and back, left and right but still no sign of them
"ABRAHAM!" Rosita yells "he's missing!"
I notice shes right.
"So is Carl and Mads." I state.
Panic consumes me as I look through the trees for my son and the girl who is like another daughter to me. Then we hear running though the trees and I relax a little until I see its Abraham. I'm releived that he's fine but we're talking about my kids here.
Abraham tries to catch his breath as he wheezes something out.
"Carl and Madison got... held back in the herd.... They got out I think but our route was blocked by walkers... so they were forced to move somewhere else" he explains between breaths. I dont know if that reasures me or scares me more.

No Carl and Madison know how to take care of themselves.

"Okay lets just stay calm and go find them. Look up in the trees too, Mads is always climbing them." I tell everyone.
We decide to go uphill, that way we can see if they're near from a birds eye view. We quickly travel uphill until we reach near the top and then we heard rustling coming from the trees. We aim our weapons for a while until we see Carl and Mads come from the trees. They were quiet, not holding hands and there was suddenly an awkward tension between them and I knew something was wrong. Something happened. I pull Carl into a hug.
"Are you okay? Are you hurt?"
"I'm fine." He replies emotionless, walking right past me.
I know something's wrong with him, but now isn't the time to ask. I have to make sure Mads is okay too. I walk over to Madison and pull her into a hug. I was ready for her to be stubborn and either not hug me back or completely push me away like she has for days now but to my surprise she wraps her arms around me and doesn't let go for a few minutes.
"You okay?" I ask.
"We should keep moving" she suggests, avoiding my question. I nod my head and we keep moving. It begins to rain down on us hard and in the distance I hear a deep rumble. That can only mean thunder and thunder means a storm. We can't sleep out in that.
"We need to find shelter." I announce.
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By the time we've found shelter we are drenched from the rain. Madison looks so lost but worst of all she looks broken as she stands slumped and rigid starring into space with her wet hair sticking to her face and blood covering her skin .She sighs and I wrap my arm around her shoulder, guiding her towards the small barn that can be our only source of shelter. We walk inside and close the door. Judith cries and stirs in my arm, the cold from the rain is making her uncomfortable. I have to change her clothes or else she'll catch a cold. Everyone sits down in a circle and tries to wring the rain from their hair or clothes. I look to Madison but she just sits and stares at the ground. Beth wrings the rain from her hair, they've been spending a lot of time lately and its clear that they are now best friends. I just hope that Madison is able to make peace with herself after Abbie's death. Abbie was the sweetest kid and she was like my daughter too. So it killed me when she died. I had to leave the group for an hour to cry in peace where nobody could see me.
Suddenly, as if Madison had heard someone call her name, her head snapped up and she looked around for a minute.
"Mads are you ok?" I ask.
She looks to me.
"I thought I..... did you hear something, someone?" She asks and I shake my head no.
"Oh, never mind then." She whispers before going back to starring at the ground. I look at Carl because I want to talk to him but he just shakes his head. He sits as far away from Mads as possible. Instead I walk over and sit beside Madison. I nod to Beth and she leaves to talk to Daryl, leaving Mads and I alone.
"What happened when you were gone." I ask.
She sighs
"I can't be with him anymore. I can't do this again. I can't feel this pain again. I keep waiting for it to get easier like Beth told me, but instead it just gets worse."
"Time is the only cure." I tell her.
"I don't have time" she complains.
"We have too much time." I state.
"So....you broke up with him?" I ask but I feel like I already know the answer.
"Are you mad? Is it awkward?"
"Mads your like my own daughter. I'd never be mad at you for something you couldn't do. But I don't understand why you did it. He's always gonna be here. How's that gonna hurt any less if something were to happen to him. It wouldn't make a difference to you." I explain
"I know, but it might make a difference to him if something were to happen to me."
"Mads that doesn't make any sense. He will always love- .... Oh, you want him to hate you." I connected the dots.
"I figured it would be easier to let go of someone if you already hated them." She tells me. This is the first real conversation she's had with me in days.
"I think both of us know that's not gonna work." I say
"I know but I can't string him along either." She settles and she knows she got me because I don't want that for Carl.
"Nobody is going anywhere Mads. We're still all here and its gonna stay that way." I tell her.
"You dont know that." She whispers and I know that she's right.
She lifts her head up again and looks around impatiently like she had before.
"I swear I just heard someone." She whispers. I get up to check outside with my gun but when I go out nobody is there. I walk back in and I watch as she sits by herself at the back of the barn, still covered in blood from earlier while she squeezes her eyes shut and pushes her hands against her ears to block out sound.

MADISONS POV.
I hear the same voice over and over again but no matter how hard I try to ignore it or push my hands against my ears, I can still hear the voice. A girls voice and the strangest part is that she's calling my name and only I can hear her. I rock back and forth and pray that the familiar voice goes away. I feel the tears dropping from my chin to my knee and I know who's there but I'm too afraid to open my eyes so instead I shut them tighter. I know I'm mumbling something but I'm not sure what it is. Suddenly someone shakes my shoulder and I'm too afraid to open my eyes to answer them. I'm too afraid to face her.
Slowly I open my eyes to see Daryl beside me. He was shaking my shoulder. I must have been mumbling louder than I thought.
"You okay?" He grunts and I just look over to everyone else who looks directly at me. They're all sitting in a circle except one person who I see peeking out from behind the pillar of the middle of the barn. The person is small, with brown-blond hair and in there hand is the too familiar Barbie doll with blood stained in its hair. The pillar is in the way of their face but I don't need to see her face to know who it is.
I freeze. I know who it is.
"GET OUT!" I scream.
Everyone is on their feet in an instant with their weapons readied.
"GET OUT!!! YOU CANT BE HERE, GET OUT. I DONT WANT YOU HERE!" I scream desperately. The tears roll down my face without end. Daryl tries to get my attention and I can vaguely feel him shaking my shoulders.
"YOUR DEAD! YOUR NOT REAL GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" I scream louder and everyone is now alarmed and blocking the door to the barn as if someone was trying to get in as Daryl covers my mouth to stop me screaming.
My eyes never leave the small figure from behind the pillar. The Barbies blood stained hair sways in the air as its dangled downwards. Then slowly her figure steps out from behind the pillar all I can remember is freaking out. I tried to thrash and wriggle out of Daryls iron grasp while I screamed and then I felt an overpowering sense of pain in my head as I blacked out.
I fall unconscious with the girls face still in my head
My little sister.