Survive ( twd carlgrimes)

chapter 109

CARL POV.
Mads started to scream like crazy. She was screaming at someone that wasn't there. Someone dead. Some of our group didn't know who she was screaming at, but us who did know her, knew who she was seeing and I know her like the back of my hand.
It was obvious now that she's seeing her loved ones, the ones that died. She's seeing Abbie.
Her screaming attracted too much attention and now there is a herd of walkers pushing against the barn door. Our group is working together to keep them away. I'm desperate and hoping this crazy storm can kill some walkers. They're too strong and I feel the sweat form at the back of my neck. My heart hammers against my chest, but I know we are stronger. Out of all the things we've survived, we aren't dying this way. My dad stands next to me pushing against the door. He looks to me and I nod.
I know he's worried about me, but I don't want to talk about what happened between Madison and I. I get why she did what she did, but I still think it's stupid. She needed space, I knew that, but I didn't think she wanted that much space. She's going through hell and I want to help but she made it perfectly clear that she doesn't want any help, she doesn't my help.
It's so easy to love someone who loves you back, but it's the hardest to love someone who doesn't.

The shoving on the door has stopped and we peek through the space between the double doors we see all the walkers either dead or stuck and unable to reach us. I slump down onto the ground while everyone goes back to their makeshift beds. I sit against the door and hug my knees. I feel someone sit beside me and when I raise my head its my dad.
"She told me." He whispers.
"Then why are you here." I snap.
"I just thought-"
"Yeah well, you thought wrong." I cut him off, frustratedly.
I look over to Madison. She's unconscious on the ground. She kept screaming and she was attracting attention from the walkers and the next thing you know Carol knocks her out. Hit her head pretty hard. I feel like I'm projecting my anger from Mads towards my dad.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you its just..."
"I get it. It sucks doesn't it?" he whispers
"What? Having your heart ripped out of your chest, spit on and then thrown to the floor to be stomped on? Yeah it sucks." I murmur.
"She'll come around." Dad says.
"Nah, this has messed her up too badly. She's not the same girl I fell in love with and I have to except that. It's clear that she has."
"You really did love her didn't you?"
"I still do, but she's made it clear what she thinks." I respond.
"You don't think she loves you?"
"No, I see the way she looks at me. It's like I'm already dead. If she loved me she would've stayed as long as possible so we could have more time together, but she didn't. She ended it without hesitation. She broke up with me because she cares for me. She doesn't love me." I say.
I hear my dad sigh lightly beside me.
I suddenly feel my anger return.
"It's done. It doesn't matter. If she wants to pretend what we had was nothing then fine. Screw her."
I stand up and wipe my sweaty hands on my jeans.
"Carl watch your mouth." He scolds.
"Back off dad. I'm not in the mood."
"Dont you get it. She's pushing you away and your letting her." He tells me
"I just, I just can't do this. I need her.... but she threw me away." I say letting a few tears slip down my face as I sit next to my dad again.
"I don't think she wanted to throw you away. She didn't want to hurt you."
"You don't know that" I reply.
"Her head just isn't in the right place at the minute. She needs time to sort herself out. She's seeing her now, so it's gonna be a hard couple of days." Dad explains.
"yeah" I sigh and I head over to Beth who holds Judith in her arms. I ask can I take Judith because she calms me down and right now I need to simmer down. Beth gets up to prop Mads up against the barn wall and wipe a fresh cut off her forehead from being knocked out. Its kinda pointless because shes covered in blood anyways from where ever she was earlier. Beth said she just went crazy and took out a herd of walkers, nearly got killed because of it.
I just focus on Judith because I don't want to think about Madison right now.

Madisons pov.
My eyes flutter open and at first my vision is blurry. I see the outline of a figure infront of me and when my sight returns to normal I recognise the figure is Beth. I feel a throbbing pain in my head and I lift my hand to investigate it. I think about how I fell asleep and then I remember Carol hitting me and everything going black. I sit up properly against the barn wall and rub my head while starring at Carol. She looks back at me with a sypathetic smile.
I look to Beth. "I dont understand."
And then I did but I wish I hadn't. In panic I push myself against the wall. Beth covers my mouth to block the noise of my hysterics.
"Shhhh. Mads... mads shut up." She says looking towards the barn door.
"You caused us a near death experiance already."
That snapped me back to reality.
"What?" I gasp.
"A herd tried to bust through the doors." She explains.
"Im sorry I didnt mean to its just... you dont understand." I say scanning the room for her.
"She was here." I whisper.
"Trust me we know." She sighs and pushes her hair away from her face.
"How... why... i dont understand."
"You were screaming at her. Shes gone Mads. Shes not here, Okay? I am. I'm here and I always will be." she says while pulling me into a hug. She combs her fingers through my blood matted hair to try and relax me.
"I've literally gone crazy." I whispered to her.
"Gone? You always were crazy. At least your not boring. Your a good source of entertainment Mads." She jokes and I chuckle while playfully hitting her arm.
"Try to sleep Mads."
"Just did. Thanks to Carol." I say and Beth chuckles but still holds me until my eyes shut again and I drift to sleep.
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I'm woken by someone shaking my arm. I open my eyes to see Maggie. She puts her finger to her lips to tell me to keep quiet. I carefully sit up and move Beths arms away from me. She's still asleep and I don't intend to wake her. I grab my bow and throw the arrows around my back and follow Maggie who is leading me outside. Walkers are everywhere trapped or dead. She leads me away from the barn and we sit on a log.
"Why are we here." I ask.
"For this." She points to the sunrise.
Its beautiful but it reminded me of the time Carl and I sat in the tree and watched the sun set.
"This world is messed up. People never believe. They believe that there are things that are impossible. But there not. I've seen it, I've seen the impossible. The impossible roams the earth ready to tear the skin from our bones. I'm lost. In the normal world you need your parents to guide you, but this world. You need to guide yourself, but you can't do it all by yourself. You need your loved ones. Your family. Mine are all dead. Im lost and I have nobody to pull me back. I'm just an orphan that has to survive, but I dont wanna anymore. I have this family but who's to say they aren't here tomorrow. I cant do this." I sob.
And I find that once I start crying I cant stop. So Maggie holds me in her arms until we here a noise. That noise stops my ridiculous sobs and I quickly load my bow while Maggie already has her gun pointed at our surrendering approcher.
"It's okay, i'm not gonna hurt you. I'm a friend. My name is Aaron. I'd like to talk to the leader. Rick right?"
"How do you know his name." Maggie asks. I pull back the string more and aim for his head incase he tries anything.
"Great things are gonna happen to you." He says.
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A.n
So this story is getting long but I have so much more to include, especially for when Alexandrea makes an appearance. So I'm considering doing a sequel. what do you all think?