A/N:
fun fact: I think of most of my oneshot ideas either from a dream, when i should be doing hw/other important thing, on the toilet or in math class
t/w: angst/major abuse
xx
"Does he make you happy Dan?" Dan asked himself in the mirror, voice so fragile and afraid. It sounded like glass, so easy to see through and could be broken in one swift movement.
His weak bony fingers that were ghostly white traced over his face, the bumps in the scars and scratches. The bruises.
He could taste the saltiness of his tears as his lips curled upwards into a sinister looking smile. His smile said happy yet his eyes read death. They were hollowed and dark, nothing inside of them.
"He keeps me happy." Dan replied to himself in the mirror.
Dan was hallucinating.
Dan could see another version of himself in the mirror, standing before him and talking. However this one was another him. One from a few years ago, face clean and arms clean. Body firmer looking, arms not as bony, neck not as skinny, collarbones not as prominent.
The sight made him smile with delight but the feeling from the pads of his fingertips as he traced over the indents of his face told him what the mirror didn't.
Mirror him mimicked his actions.
"You haven't eaten in so long." Mirror him said, hands removing from his face as Dan did the same.
"I need to look good for him." Dan replied in a small quiver. "I love him."
"You still love him?" The illusion replied. "You really do?"
Dan ran a hand up and down his arms , feeling the bumps of veins popping out, the roughness of his skin and the slight pain coursing through his body at this small action like a pin pricking at his skin.
"Tell me this. Does your heart still beat fast when he's around?" It asked.
Dan smiled a toothy grin and nodded, wrinkles forming besides his tired eyes.
"Why? Because you're happy to see him? Or because you're frightened by his presence." Mirror Dan spoke.
Dan shot his head up, eyes widening as his bruised lips began to quiver.
"Wait..." He started, voice hoarse from all the things his throat would endure.
"Do you dream about him still? About him waking you up with kisses? Or waking you up with kicking." Mirror Dan's eyes showed no sorrow, only anger.
"N-No stop..." Dan's voice croaked out.
"Do you want to make him happy? Make him so he'll stay with you forever? Or make him happy enough to finally let you leave the house for once."
"P-Please stop." Dan felt the familiar taste of the warm salty tears, biting his lip until the metallic taste mixed in too.
"What about his eyes? Do you still feel like you could melt every time you look into them? That feeling like you're on top of the world? Or does it feel more like you're being crushed by them as they cower you into a corner."
"W-Why are you d-doing this?" Dan sobbed, eyes shut as tears fled out of them at a fast rate.
"Do you get turned on when his voice raised slightly?" Mirror Dan said louder, anger tracing in his voice as he stared down at the smaller Dan before him. "Or do you cover your ears and try not to break down everyday when you do hear it."
Dan couldn't say anything, just dropped to the floor clutching his knees close to his chest rocking back and forth.
Mirror Dan also dropped before him, sitting cross-legged however.
"Does he still have those cute little nicknames for you? Flower, sweetie and buttercup?" Mirror Dan's pupils shone bright red in an instant watching the other one break down before him. "Or has he exchanged them for worthless, idiot and stupid."
"Does he still make your head swarm with what wandering would you could possibly do without him? Or do you think about that too often for it to be mentally stable."
"Do you still miss his touch and crave it on your skin? Or feel yourself burn every time he comes even in a proximity of your surroundings because you know what he'll actually do to that beautiful skin of yours."
Mirror Dan was crying too now as Dan looked up. Eyes still blown bright red and his skin was fading paler and paler. He raised his arms up, pulling his sleeves down in a quick motion pointing at the burns along his arm.
"Does he still kiss you better when you 'hurt' yourself?" He spat with anger. Now his hair began to fade back into its thinner state. His arms fading skinner as his neck and collarbones appeared more prominently.
"Does he make love to you or make you make love him no matter what you say." Mirror Dan said louder and louder, raising the side of his shirt to show the bruises.
"Does he make you wish you had met him all those years before? Or not at all?"
"Does he make you never want to forget all your moments together? Or have you pull your hair trying to pull them out of your mind."
"Because listen to me when I say this." The mirrored Dan who now looked exactly what Dan looked like present except the red eyes spoke in Dan's own hoarse voice. "If he makes you feel the things you shouldn't, you shouldn't be here."
Dan clenched his burning eyes. He took a step forward before raising his hand before a large cracking sound echoed through the small room followed by glass pieces now at his feet.
Tears were littered over them as his vision became blurry. Now that mirror Dan had disappeared completely, at last the only strings of his common sense was finally gone, and he could resume living his life with the person he loved without it.
xx
