This was originally on my friend @phanime's account because she let me go on it and write since she made it recently and I didn't wanna go on this account so i'm gonna repost my work here.
Dear darlin',
Please exuse my writing,
I can't stop my hand from shaking,
'Cause i'm cold, and alone tonight,
Phil was out with his girlfriend again, just like every other night.
We used to be so close.
And now we're not.
And I miss him.
We were known as the best friends, around eachother 24/7 Dan and Phil! Now it's Nicole and Phil. And just Dan.
Phil doesn't realize how much I am breaking. I love him. But ever since I've confessed, he immediently got a girlfriend, as if to mock me with his heterosexuality.
It's disgusting.
But then again, so am I.
I miss you and nothing hurts like no you.
And no one understands what we went through.
It was short. It was sweet. We tried.
I deserve as much pain as I can get.
For being ungreatful. I'm unloved too, it's not like anyone will miss me. No, not at all. I'll be like a in ant stepped on in the streets.
And if my words break through the wall
And meet you at your door,
All I can say is “Boy, I mean them all.”
I wonder what will happen after you read this letter.
Will you cry? Mourn? Regret? Or simply laugh or sigh.
This is a letter to let Phil know thay the monsters in my head have catched up with me because he's always gone and can't keep them away from me anymore. My shield was wounded and so he used his, now mine is utterly battered, and his is strong as ever, but never putting it to use.
Dear darlin’, please excuse my writing.
I can’t stop my hands from shaking
'Cause I’m cold and alone tonight.
I shakily grab a pen.
This isn't like a normal note someone in my situation would l
write.
This is exactly what I am thinking.
I miss you and nothing hurts like no you.
And no one understands what we went through.
It was short. It was sweet. We tried. We tried.
I thought you liked me back. I mean I actually thought you, ladies man Phil Lester would like me, disgusting faggot, back.
I was so stupid.
So if my words break through the wall
To meet you at your door,
All I can say is “Boy, I mean them all.”
I stare at my pen before deciding, I don't need it anymore.
What's the point of wasting precious ink over me.
I miss you and nothing hurts like no you.
And no one understands what we went through.
It was short. It was sweet. We tried.
So I grab my razor and cut so deep into my past scars that the blood oozes so thick and so red. Small dots appear along the line as I sigh in relief, my pale skin littered with red.
Oh I can't cope. These arms are yours to hold.
As if fingerpainting, I begin to smudge words onto the lined paper.
Every word that enters my head slowly at the begenning of the day, then at night taunting me in my sleep, reminding me of how utterly useless I am.
The sight of the blood starts to make me dizzy, my vision blurred,
And I miss you and nothing hurts like no you.
And no one understands what we went through.
That's when I get the pill I had prepared. And the razor.
I want to go out in pain.
I deserve it.
As the pills adds to the drowsiness, I slice more and more, deeper and deeper into every inch of my body I can reach, only whimpers escaping my mouth but my head is full of screams from the monsters that won't leave me alone, that have taken control of my body.
It was short, it was sweet,
Our happy memories together have faded me. As I drift off.
We tried.
Goodbye Phil, i'm finally out of your life.
