Okay *takes deep breath*
LISTEN UP.
YEAH YOU THE ONE WITH THE SLEEP DEPRIVED RED EYES.
IM GONNA SAY THIS IN CAPITALS AND IM ONLY GONNA SAY THIS ONCE MORE.
YOU ARE FÜCKING BEAUTIFUL OKAY?
Gosh you people don't realize how much it makes me tear up reading 'Speak Up Already' comments and seeing how almost everybody finds it relatable.
Like I legit sit in class and think of how I could help. But the thing is, I can't.
Because after all, i'm just some words on a screen to you.
But, words are strong.
Words speak loud.
So i'm only gonna cover basics.
Social anxiety
I hate it too.
Once I got entered in this workshop and had to say a speech about something I was passionate about.
I couldn't stop stuttering ;_;
Anxiety is a feeling that eats you up inside, but I remember one thing.
This will pass.
Without this feeling, I wouldn't know what it feels like to be confident.
We all have a short life, you can't spend it like this.
Depression.
Fücking sucks huh?
Yeah.
And if you don't like it and don't want it, you should be telling your guardians. Or anyone. Get councelling because without it, you're letting yourself suffer. Don't pretend you want help if you don't help yourself first.
As much as it may hurt to ask for help, think of what could come when the help works.
Suicidal.
I lost a friend to suicide once. I cried and cried. But the thing was, I hadn't even met them. They were an internet friend.
Suicide isn't the option of making your life get better, it's eliminating the chances of anything else happening.
You won't get to fücking pet a giraffe.
Okay okay all jokes aside, I love you all.
If you ever need help, message me.
And I DO NOT want comments saying 'im not beautiful i hate myself i do bla bla to myself everyday bla bla' THAT STUFF WILL BE MESSAGED PRIVATLY TO ME.
BECAUSE THAT SHIT TRIGGERS MORE PEOPLE AND I DONT WANT THAT.
I DONT SEE A BUCH OF NUMBERS ON MY WATTPAD
THERE ARE USERNAMES WITH LIVES AND FAMILIES AND I WOULD RATHER EMBARASS MYSELF IN FRONT OF MY WHOLE SCHOOL instead of letting a single one of them get triggered.
You get me?
Hey let's start something cool.
><><
On January 19th, I assume most of you are at school, college or anywhere idk.
Add it in your calender okay?
I want you all to write something on your wrist okay?
This is directed at all the horrible things and people.
It should say:
"You will not defeat me"
Can you do that? Even if you haven't been affected, aim it at someone or something you will conquer.
Aim it at the suicidal feeling, whom years later you look back on and shiver at how you were ever like that.
Aim it at the depression, when you look back and wonder why you did that.
Aim it at the anxiety. Laugh in years from now wondering why you worried over that.
I wanna see these beautiful wrists as proof so post them to instagram if you want with a # so i can find it?
#youwillnotdefeatmeotaku
(Yeah i added otaku bc its easer to find okay?)
Fyi my instagram is @geniusotaku
Ive gotten off topic sorry :(
So anyway, as I was saying...
2015 is coming up.
I am not the person I started 2014 off with tbh
and same for u probz idk
But you know what? Think of the good things you have achieved in 2014 and tell me in the comments.
Heres some things I can say i've achieved:
~ I helped my mum carry the shopping
~ I petted a dog
~ I cleaned my room for a few minutes
~ I stood up for myself
~ I seperated the fake friends from the real ones
~ I haven't sworn at all irl
~ I have had alot of chocolate
If you find it difficult, here :
~ I got out of bed at some point
~ I ate food
~ I talked to some people
~ I read a crappy phan oneshot
~ I've had the courage to face school at least once
~ I've had the courage to face people
~ I am still alive
Be proud of what you've achieved. Don't focus on the bad things.
If I focused on the bad things all the time, this oneshot book would not exist.
Please please try to make it.
Message me if you need advice or help please.
I always reply.
I AM NOT LOSING ANY OF YOU PRECIOUS ANGELS IS THAT CLEAR?
YOU WILL FÜCKING HOLD YOUR HEAD UP HIGH.
FÜCK IT, DO IT NOW.
HOLD YOUR HEAD UP HIGH AND WHISPER THAT YOUR PROUD OF YOURSELF.
DONE?
Good.
*sighs*
Please, I want our connection to be close and I don't want to just be a writer. I want to be a friend.
Okay i'm tearing up, I guess I should stop oops
Okay then.
I love you all.
Lmao its 2am again oops...
Bye beautiful angels
xx
