Chapter 122

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"What do you think Manik?"

He turned to her to say something, but stopped to study her wind-kissed face. Eyes closed, arms spread wide, chin slightly tilted up and the wind blowing her long careless tresses away from her serene face, drawing random shapes in the air. He had almost lost himself in the tranquil smile on her face when he decided , to ask her instead, if she liked this matchbox of a flat in a rather non-descript locality.

"What do you think Nandini?"

"Me?" her face lit up at once, as she continued inhaling the breeze with closed eyes. "Manik, I absolutely love it. Couldn't have gotten a better house."

He knew she had liked it. It was written all over her face. Thank God, her eyes were closed, or else she would have seen his brows twisted in a frown. But how could she like it, how could any sane person, like, this dusty little flat covered in cobwebs. Tiny didn't even begin to describe it, it was like the Tata Nano, forcefully marketed as a car when in reality , it was at best an auto with doors.

He could barely swallow. She liked it...she liked that betel stained staircase?!!!? and that tiny little landing area on each floor where all the doors to all the flats opened at once like a sabzi mandi. And those doors..how tacky were they, pale blue with large patches of brown, where the paint had chipped off, exposing the underlying plywood. As if this wasn't enough, they had to guard it with a grill, which made the most irritating screeching sound when the kids tugged at them, pulling and pushing as if they were toys. The lift was a nightmare, less than 50 sq. feet wide, it was scary and despicably cramped. The biggest joke however, was the amount, the broker was charging as rent, 20 k? 20 freaking k?

"Don't you like it?" she asked, sensing his silence.

He didn't know what to tell her. They just had 3 lakhs worth of cash and her salary of 30k. How could he tell her that this place gave him a headache, the musty smell inside the long abandoned flat almost made him want to puke. How could he tell her, he hadn't pictured them like this, here, and that's precisely why he had wanted her to wait till he could afford what they deserved. But without a penny in his pocket, and no job yet, he couldn't possibly ask her to go see a flat in upscale juhu or bandra or even lokhandwala. Manik felt small, pitiful and utterly helpless.

An uncomfortable silence fell over them as Manik couldn't bring himself to speak his mind.

Nandini took a deep breath and finally opened her eyes. How time changes people! Had it been just a couple of days ago, Manik would not have wasted a single minute checking out this apartment. Its shabby exterior would have been enough to piss him off. And had she still dragged him inside, he would have cursed her left, right and center. He would have argued with her saying "Are you kidding me Nandini..who lives in a place like this? Agar yeh joke tha to I didn't like it, abhi chalo yahan se."

But today he barely uttered a word. She knew he wasn't happy, she knew he was keeping his true feelings from her, struggling alone to come to terms with reality. And it scared her, because that's how people slip back into darkness. First they grow silent, and then they slowly trace their steps back and lock themselves up in the parallel universe they have created in their heads. She could live with anything, except watch him grow into a stranger once again, inch by inch, one day at a time.

The more time changed him, the more she had to change as well. The quieter he grew, the harder she had to strain her ears to understand. And it wasn't just today. Since that evening at his home, he had been mostly quiet, inwardly drawn and thoughtful. His silence, sometimes it made sense to her, sometimes it didn't. Like now, it could mean a hundred things, he could be feeling helpless, or incompetent or may be his male ego was hurting, how would she know which one was it. How could she continue to be the same vivacious Nandini, blabbering gibberish to her Manik, without the fear of being judged, when she had to weigh every word she spoke now, blunt their edges, for who knew which one could potentially pierce through his heart.

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