Adrenaline

Chapter 43

My hands were beginning to shake from the nerves wracking through me. I'd never had to confess this to anyone, ever. His eyes held such innocence as he nodded for me to continue. If he wasn't able to handle this side of me, what was I going to do? I wouldn't be able to leave him with that kind of information.

"... My parents have big plans for me." I blurted out instead.

I wasn't ready and neither was he.

"My dad's just worried that being with someone as high-profile as you will distract me from working and paying attention to my studies. But, as much as I love my dad, he can't always tell me what to do."

I somehow felt worse than before. I had never gone against my dad's wishes. He clearly instructed me, and him to stay away from each other.

"My dad believes what Christina made everyone else believe," I said. "Until he knows your side, I can't take his decision to be final."

"What if, her side was the truth? You'd be here breaking up with me, right?" he asked.

"I don't know the answer to that."

"If what Christina had said was true, would you still be with me?"

"Jason, I don't know." I repeated.

"Yes you do. Would you be with me or not?" he reiterated, in a demanding tone.

"What do you want me to tell you?"

"The truth,"

"I don't know."

"Alyssa, just tell me." he insisted.

"No! There, are you happy? No, I wouldn't be with you."

"So my past does bother you?"

"I know what really happened. If everything she said were true, you know I wouldn't be able to be with you. I couldn't get involved in that."

"So you see me as a nightmare too?" he asked.

"You're not a nightmare. You know better than anyone what it's like to have parents with high hopes and expectations for you. He heard stories about your drug problem, of course he'd be concerned. But you cleaned up. You're not who she says you are. I'm with you because I want to be with you. My dad is just going to have to deal."

Jason remained quiet, which only gave a platform for my own worries and concerns to manifest. The GFA knew who I was. My identity wasn't as secret as I thought. I never worried this much over Nick. The fact that something might happen to him never came to mind once, but now all I could think about was something happening to Jason. So if he decide lad we shouldn't be together, I guess it wouldn't be the worst thing.

"Then let's be together." He finally said.

I nodded, giving way to half a smile. All my worries seemed to wash away. He lightly trailed his fingers over my shoulders, before giving me what could be considered an honorable kiss. That annoying feeling of guilt flooded me as the kiss ended. I was blatantly disobeying my dad and I was not used to doing such a thing, and I was lying to Jason. He needed to know I was IIA, but I was too scared he would panic and run.

He could tell someone and then Lydia would have him killed. My stomach churned painfully, just thinking of the consequences. He'd think I was a killer and leave me before I could explain that I wasn't. He'd definitely run away knowing that my parents were actual killers. Jason hugged me with more confidence telling me again that he'd missed me these past two days. Clingy, but I admitted to missing him too then suggested we do something together. I watched Jason lock the door and set the alarm.