Forty Nine

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Words left unsaid will sit inside your mind screaming.

----------Simple Reminders.

ALEX'S  POV
I grabbed her diary and opened the first page. It was her handwriting. I missed her so much. I was dying to get just one glimplse of her and may be I would find more of her in this diary. I carrased her beautifully written words.

"Life was indeed a bliss when you held my hand and said you'd stay forever. But life had other plans. I have a lot of complains but none can be heard by you. A LOOKBACK TO MY LIFE, to my story, the feelings, the words left unsaid, the love which will remain with me forever and will go straight to my grave when I die"

As I read her words I felt the pain inked on the paper. I wanted to know what happened with her and why did that jerk leave her when she loved him so much that she kicked my love away. But it was her personal diary. There was a little voice inside me telling me not to go ahead and close it but a larger section of my insides was too curious and I flipped the page. The letter dated back to ten years ago and it was written to Z. Z ! Did she wrote this letter to me ? Gosh ! I thought she never remembered me but here she has a letter for me too. A foolish smile played on my lips as I start reading her letter.

Dear Z,

I still dream the same dreams I saw for us, being with you forever. Here I go back to the time remembering the whole of you for once again. I know that you will never want to lookback to that time but still for my peace of mind I'm writing you a letter which probably you'll never find in this life.
My mind goes back to the time when all the juniors were asked to come to the amphitheatre to view a dance competition. Aoran and I were fighting while the show went on. Then they called a boy on the stage. Yes he was from amongst us. He dedicated a dance to his mom. Mom, which I did not have. I was so stunned by that guy's moves, flexiblity, expressions and emotions. I wanted to know his name. For the first time I wanted to know a guy's name. Then there was somthing with nature that I found that same guy dancing on the stage in farewell evening after one year. That Mr. Farewell ! His dance touched me again and somthing inside me felt so heavy when he disappeared from stage. I don't know what was that feeling but yes there was somthing in the enviroment. Then our paths crossed again and led us to Varsetille Dance Academy. I was shocked to see you there. May be it was our fate how we kept bumping onto each other and that unknown bond between us soon took the name of friendship. And then when you were leaving it rained heavily like heaven reacted to my emotions and cried. That day I was on cloud nine when you asked me out for the lunch. I never went out with any guy other than Aoran which is why I was so nervous. Everytime you smiled looking at me my hearts skipped its beats. I used to watch youtube tutoriuls on how to look pretty but never tried it thinking you will laugh at me  like others. Watching you from the receptionist's desk saving my gaze from your pry eyes I adored you. The way to carried yourself, the way to tied your hair into a small pony tail, the way your heavy beard drew me your maculinity. Those sharp ocean deep greyish blue orbs always made me feel so weak in my knees, no matter how hard I tried not to listen to my feelings, my heart rebelled more everytime. The day when you asked me 'Are those fries more attractive than me ?' I lost it all. I honestly wanted to tell you that nothing could be more attractive than blue eyes and a heartbeat. You were such a distraction. Day by day every feeling of mine acclerated. I tried to control myself but nothing went my way because by then your actions controlled me.

Yours and only yours

Isa

As I finished reading the first letter entry I was already in a state of confusion. She kept my things with utmost care and then her confession. Why did she go then if she was mine and only mine ? Were there some reasons for which she pushed me away ?

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