A Barmaid before the world fucked up, now a fighter for survival. Clare Aven, was never anything special, the only thing she was good at was making drinks and seducing men. The one best thing her Military father taught her was how to use a gun. It d...
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I head straight to Negans room after my encounter with David, I'd do anything he asked of me just as long as I know it means he won't come after me and leave Negan alone. I knock on the door quickly, frantically even, there is no answer or sound of movement from inside his room.
I knock again, he may be asleep as it is pretty late by now, I refuse to let this go for the night, I know Negan is doing a supply run tomorrow, so I don't know if I'll see him then. I hear shuffling of feet and banging from inside his room, a few curse words follow afterward.
Negan pulls the door open, he's standing there shirtless and in grey sweat pants. He reaches his right hand up scratches the back of his head, he looks tired and annoyed, all I wish to do is fall in his arms and forget about everything.
"This better be fucking important." Negan grumbles at me, stepping to the side and letting me in, I walk over to the sofa and sit down, bouncing my knee anxiously. Negan sits across from me and I suddenly realise I don't know how to tell him to forget about how Bethany died, it needed to be a good lie. The viable option is to say that I did it, that I killed her, any other lie will still make him want to find the killer, but if he thinks I'm the killer he won't go after David.
Maybe if I tell him the truth he will get to David first. How would David know I told him? Not until Negan confronts him. I can't risk it, it's either David kills me or Negan kills me, I don't know which one is worse. I take a deep breath.
"I did it. I killed Bethany. I went after her that night she beat me, she had burnt my family photo and threaten to get me kicked out, so I attacked her, I got so heated in the moment, I didn't mean to kill her, I just couldn't let go of her throat." Once I started the lie it become all too easy, I look down at my hands too scared to look up at him but I know I have to, I meet his eyes, I watch as he processes my words.
"You killed her?" He asks and fear the that he may not believe me sets in, I just nod my head sadly, I don't want to do this but I have no choice. I watch his expression change, rage settling in his eyes, he gets up and picks up his walkie-talkie.
"Can someone pick up Clare from my room and take her to the cells." He speaks into it, I frantically meet his eyes, scared of what's to happen next.
"I'll be there shortly." David's voice is the one that responds on the other end and my anxiety spikes further, I don't want to be left alone with him, there is a high chance he will go back on his word.
"Negan. I'm sorry, I don't mean for this to happen." I beg him desperately, hoping by some miracle he will see the truth and stop this.
"I'm so fucking disgusted in you, I don't tolerate murder in my Sanctuary, no matter the reason. That shits left to me." He says turning away from me, I stand up and go to tell him the truth but a loud knock on the door draws our attention.
"Negan, please. Don't make me go with him." I beg him further, he doesn't realise why I don't want to go with David, probably just thinks I want to get out of going to the cells.
Negan pulls the door open and David steps in, I immediately start to get into fight or flight mood, this was never going to go down well for me, no matter what I did.
"Take her away now." Is all Negan says to David, David walks into his room, passing Negan and approaching me, he licks his lips, looking me up and down. Memories from when he raped me resurface and I realise then how stupid my mistake was, I should have told Negan the truth.
David grabs my wrist, but I punch him hard with my other fist, it hits him in the jaw and he stumbles back, he immediately lunges at me again bear hugging me around the waist and lifting my over his shoulder.
"Negan please! Don't let him to do this to me! NEGAN!" I scream at Negan as David leaves the room, all I hear is the sound of his door closing, I slump in Davids arms, giving up entirely, knowing I'm not getting out of this.
"You're going to regret hitting me, Bitch." David throws me into a cell and to my surprise he actually leaves and locks me in, I expected him to have his way with me, I finally let myself cry. No matter how strong I try to make myself, I will always be weak.
I settle down on the hard cold concrete floor, I'm not getting out anytime soon, unless they take me out to kill me. There's only so much a person can take, I may have been strong before the world went to shit, but now I'm not. It's people like me that end up dead, it's only a matter of when. I should have done things better, I should have been more like my father, I should joined the army anyway.
Maybe then I would have been strong enough to live in this new society, this new, broken fucked up world, I imagine David will be back soon, to end what little sanity and self preservation I have left. I let myself fall into a self hate filled sleep, waiting for someone to come and kill me.
The horrible reality sets in that everyone thinks I a murderer but I guess I already was one even before all this bullshit with Bethany, maybe I deserve what's coming to me after all. I wrap my arms around me knees and drop my head lowly, tired of everything that's happening, tired of struggling to be alive.
