Babygirl.

Stolen My Soul.

It was decided with Carl's death, that war was upon us, I chose to stay with Rick and his people, but to my dismay Dwight insisted on returning to the Sanctuary.

Even with the possibility of Laura ratting him out, I didn't get a choice in the matter he was returning for the greater good, for our future he told me.

It was a horrible goodbye, I could not stop the tears as I tried to get him to not leave. Michonne had to hold me back as got on to his bike and I screamed for him to stay. But he left, promising me he would return and keep me informed.

I only have his walkie, so I can get into contact with him when he gets back to the Sanctuary. Until then I haven't rested and I won't until I hear word from him.

I currently sit counting my bullets for the hundredth time, Rick gifted me bullets for my ACR and desert eagle. No one had any guns that the bullets would go with except me.

I watch as Axl plays with Rick's daughter, Judith. She is a little older then Axl but they get along very well. She's about four and he's almost four, I realise then that his birthday is fast approaching. I have no idea how I'm meant to celebrate it during all this mess.

Michonne steps out of her ragged house and sits beside me, I've barely spoken to her after she held me back for Dwight. I understand why she did it, I know what he's doing is important, but he promised he'd never leave my side.

She holds out a mug, coffee steaming inside it, I sigh and take the bitter substances. Guilt, is the emotion I feel towards her, she is in mourning. We watch Axl keeping Judith's mood up, she doesn't really understand what's happened to Carl.

At least I know when the battle begins Axl will have a friend when they send him, Judith and the other kids to Hilltop, another community I never knew about.

"I'm sorry Michonne, you must hate me. Hate him too." I say looking at my son.

"I don't hate you Clare, honestly when I heard Negan had someone in his life that he loved that maybe he would stop this. I definitely don't hate your son, it's not his fault who his father is." The calmness is her raspy voice almost breaks me, I can tell she's been crying all morning.

"If I knew what he was doing, how bad it was, I would have done something." I look over at her, looking into her sorrowful chocolate eyes.

"No. You wouldn't have, because you're son loves him." I nod, knowing she's right.

"I'm sorry about holding you back, from Dwight. But he needs to be there, we need to end this. Not just for us, but for our children's future." Michonne looks over at our kids again, because it's then that I realise that she will always be Judith's mother in some way.

"Don't be sorry, I know that he needs to be there, it just doesn't hurt any less." I say softly, feeling like the world's worst person.

"I know." Her voice breaks and I can hear her shaky breaths, knowing she's crying. I shove my ACR aside and slide closer to her, wrapping my arms around her. Michonne drops her head to my shoulder, he sobs near silent for the sake of our kids.

"I won't chose him, when it comes down to it. I know what's coming for Negan, I won't stop it, not even for Axl. He's too dangerous for this world, I know that now." I rock us back and forth, taking a deep breath to settle myself.

"Do you still love him?" Michonne asks quietly, I think about her question for a moment.

"I think a piece of me always will, I've seen the other side to him. But what he's become, scares me more then the monsters outside of these walls. I've found the man for me and he's in beasts lair." Michonne snakes her arms around my middle and hugs me tightly.

I didn't realise until now, how much I needed a female friend, I never would have guessed we would have been friends.

Later that day I wait for Dwight to get into contact with me, he said he would at sun down. I watch as the sun gets lower and lower in the sky, waiting for the walkie in my hand to show some sign of life.

"Is anyone there?" A voice I've never heard of comes through, but I'm quick to answer.

"Where's Dwight?" I ask immediately.

"Are you Clare Amelio? Dwights wife?" The male voice asks, his question pisses me off.

"Who else would be asking for Dwight on his walkie?" I ask, growing extremely impatient.

"He left a message with me. He says he took your cello to your future home and that you would know what he was talking about." I don't respond. Future home? Did he really mean the house I built up, my heart swells with joy, our future house. He wants to stay there, but why would he not tell me himself.

"What's happened?" I ask panicking now.

"Simon tried to take over the Sanctuary, when Negan went missing. Simon was killed and added to the fence." The voice stops for a moment and goes quite.

"Okay and where's my fucking husband?" I grit into the walkie, hating that I have to wait in such suspense.

"Laura returned, she told Negan about what Dwight did, he's alive, but locked away, marked with an A and in the cells." My heart almost rips through my chest with how hard it's beating.

I turn off the walkie rage boiling in my blood and uncontrollably fear. I close my eyes trying to control myself, I lash out and smash my fist into a nearby tree, over and over again, splitting my knuckles, blood coating the bark, bones groaning as they grind against each other.

I stop before they break, I'm going to need my hand when I shoot everyone who dares mistreat Dwight, for when I hunt Laura down. I storm inside and the door slamming behind me, I know I shouldn't have let it, the kids are sleeping upstairs.

"What's wrong?" Michonne asks as her and Rick watch me. I shake visabiliy, straining against myself to go to the Sanctuary now.

"Simon is dead and Negan knows about Dwight, he's locked him away." I clench and unclench my fists, hating the words.

"We will get him back." Rick says to me, the first time he's spoken to me since he's been here.

"At what cost though?"

"With Negan dying of course."

I nod, not objecting this time, my son will hate me forever, but it's for his future, his father must die for us to live.