Babygirl.

My bundle of joy.

My screams ring out in the basement, the pain excruciating with each push I make, I reach down between my legs trying to feel for the baby. I feel the top of the baby's head and I realise I'm crowning, tears feel my eyes, I really hope this goes well.

I push hard, my screams exciting the dead outside, but I can't muffle them in anyway, I just have to pray I sealed this basement off well enough, if the dead where to get in now, I wouldn't make it.

I stop to take a minute before I continue to push, but I know I must work quickly no matter how tired I get, I push and the head slides out, my breathing picks up with excitement, but I still need to get the shoulders out, before I even attempt to try and pull the baby.

I push again, the agony not dampening at all, the shoulders slide out and I gently pull my baby out, I quickly clip a metal peg on the umbilical cord and cut it just before. My baby starts to cry loudly, letting me know he is alive and well, I let out a deep sigh of relief, I head over to the bath I prepared early.

I wash my baby carefully and it's only then I realise I have a beautiful baby boy, a sob slips past my lips, after washing him carefully I dry him off and wrap him up in a warm baby blanket. I set him down in the baby bed I have had set up for a few weeks. I would much rather be cuddling my boy, but I need to clean myself up, I can't risk any infection.

Once I'm clean and have changed and wearing one of the most uncomfortable maturity pads I head over to my little boy, what should I name you handsome, I'd been going through a list of names for months now, but hadn't truely decide what I wanted.

I really love the name Axl Negan Aven. Axal was my fathers names and he was such a fighter, a protector and in this world, I only want my son to be safe, to be the same things my father was, he should also be like his father, a strong and unbreakable man. A leader.

I cuddle up to him, ignoring the sounds of the dead and letting myself rest for just a little awhile, letting the warmth of the day lull me into a peaceful sleep. Dreaming of happier times with my family, before all this madness happened, of meeting Negan in the world before this, consoling him in his time of need of losing his wife, of marrying him and having our son together.

Living a life that could be considered normal, dealing with my son getting his first girlfriend and sending him to collage, but that will never happen anymore, if he gets a girlfriend it would be so different now. But for now he just needs to survive being a baby, these first few years are going to be so hard for us.

I'm startled awake by the cries of Axl, I instantly sit up, to see if any of the dead are around but find nothing, my fortifications held up, I pick Axal up and lift my shirt and bra up, trying to convince him to feed. It doesn't take long for him to work it out, his cries soon stop as he feeds eagerly.

For once in a very long time I start to feel a little better about my choice in leaving, this is the hardest thing I could have ever done on my own and I did it, I gave birth to my little bundle of joy, with no help. Even though I wish I could have Negan here with me to help raise our son, but it can't be that way.

I settle Axl down again once he's done feeding. I empty the old baby bath water down into the old sinks drain, I have to keep this place as clean as possible, especially while that herd is outside my door. After cleaning up everything as best as I can, I grab a bottle of water and something to eat for myself.

My body feels tired and weak and I know I shouldn't be walking around so much, but I don't have much choice, there are things that need to be done. The odd gross feeling of being on a period is much worse after birth, but I read it's normal as the body flushes out everything after birth.

I sit back down next to Axl, not really wanting to stay away from him for too long, I look over my pot plants sitting on the window seal, catching what's left of the afternoon sun, it took me so long to get those seeds sprouting, but now I have little saplings almost ready to go in the ground, I look forward to the fresh fruit I am to receive from them.

I lay down and rest one of my hands on Axl, holding his little hands in mine, I stare at his cute features, his little button nose, his cubby cheeks, his little eyebrows, his fluffy head of hair. It's dark brown much like his fathers hair, I think he's going to look a lot like his dad as he gets older.

Axl opens his eyes, they search the room, almost worriedly, but his expression calms when he sees me, bright hazel eyes like mine and Negan's, he seems so wise already. Like he wants to tell me about his first few hours alive, but can't yet.

"Hey Axl, aren't you a handsome little boy, I love you so much baby." I lean forward and kiss his forehead, breathing in his baby scent. I smile at the little miracle in front of me, it certainly hasn't been easy for me to get him here, it's still not going to be easy.

"I promise to do everything in my power to keep you safe, no matter what it takes." Axl let's out a big yawn and his eyes flutter shut, ready to sleep again. I close my eyes taking the opportunity to get some rest myself.