Babygirl.

Recoveries are hard.

I've been stuck in a single bed in the room down from Negan's for the past couple of days, I hate that I haven't been allowed to get up, but I know I need to rest. Negan was gone all of yesterday and when he arrived he barely spoke to me, I heard a rumour through the good doctor though.

Apparently the boy from the clearing managed to get into the Sanctuary on the back of one of the trucks, he killed a few people and Negan took him home after showing him around the Sanctuary for some stupid reason. I want to yell at Negan for his stupidity, but then the good doctor would get into trouble and I won't learn any new information at all.

Axl stays with me every time he leaves, but when he's back Axl hangs out with Negan, he is so eager to get to know his father.

I'm so glad that Axl wants to spend all this time with his dad, but I'm really concerned how Negan is now running the Sanctuary. I am worried it will affect my son's safety in the long run.

I can't just pack up and leave either, I'm in no shape to protect Axl out there at the moment and I'm positive Negan would definitely come after me this time.

Negan enters my room, I'm rather restless at this point, even though everything hurts right now, I hate laying in this bed.

"How are you feeling Babygirl?" Negan asks sincerely upset that this happened, he was mad for so long and now he's in this awkward feel sorry for himself phase.

"Don't call me Babygirl. I'm sick of being in this bed. I'm sick of not being able to go anywhere. I'm sick of being left alone with my thoughts." I rant to him uncontrollably, at this point I'm so frustrated about everything.

"Hey, there's no need to take this shit out on me. I didn't do this to you." Negan swears and I quickly look over to make sure Axl is still napping. I turn my head and give Negan a very pointed look.

"Stop swearing. And this is partly your fault if you just killed David when he showed up that night this wouldn't have happened. He wouldn't have tried to get his hands on my son." I'm so angry at this point, I've had way too much time sit and stew about things.

"I'm going to go get you something to eat." Negan angrily gets out of his chair.

"Yeah, you leave me here again, you think I'm mad now." He closes the door not responding back to me. Did he think this would really be sunshine and rainbows now that I'm back.

There's so many reasons I'm angry at him, he let David live, he got new wives and he's started something else with this group now, where there people are coming in and killing our people. And my son thinks he's better then me.

I guess I can't really blame him for that last one though, but it's been just Axl and I for three years and now I'm sort of forgotten about. I wanted to be with Negan so bad before this happened, but he's changed, he's not like he was before.

Axl wakes up and walks over to me, I lift him up off the floor so he can sit on my lap, my whole body protests at the movement. I chose to ignore it though, my son's more important then me.

"Hey, Buddy. Did you have a good sleep?" He looks up at me still a little dazed from sleep, he nods his head.

"Mummy, me hungy." His cute little face warms my heart and settles me down a little.

"You're hungRy? I can help with that." I over pronounce the R so he can catch on and learn how to say hungry properly. But for a three year old he does well.

I reach over to the little bedside table and grab some animal crackers that the kitchen make for kids and hand them to him.

"Daddy will be back with food in a minute, but munch on these for now Buddy." He smiles up at me and takes the container with the crackers.

"Tanks, Mummy." I laugh and roll my eyes at his cute way of saying thank you.

"You are very welcome my handsome little boy." I kiss his little nose and he swats me off, trying to bite his cracker.

Negan soon enters the room and the atomsphere darkness. He narrows his eyes when he notices Axl sitting on my lap and I can tell he's just itching to tell me rest.

He places the tray in my lap, watching out for Axl and removes the lid. I almost drool at the grilled chicken and salad. I really want to question how they got this food, but I'm too hungry to care.

"Hey Buddy wanna try some chicken?" I ask Axl as he curiously looks over my plate, not really having anything like this before. He nods cautionsally acting like it's about to leap off the plate.

Negan pulls up a chair beside my bed and starts to dig into his own lunch. I pass Axl a small piece of chicken to try, he gives it a sniff before taking a little bite. Negan and I both watch his reaction as he chews on the meat.

He pops the rest in his mouth and smiles also letting out a laugh as he enjoys the food. I let out a sigh of relief, in this day and age there really isn't room to be fussy about food.

"I'm sorry I got mad at you, I'm just restless in this room, everything is getting to me." Negan looks up at me and takes the time to chew his food and think about what he wants to say.

"I know you are and you are right I shouldn't have expected you to just want to fall into my arms. I was pretty foolish with my actions while you were gone." I nod my head agreeing with him, letting him truly see how much he hurt me when I realised he had wives again.

"I just don't know if I can trust you so much anymore Negan, I trust you with our son. But with my feelings? Only time will tell." The look on Negan's face almost breaks my heart all over again. I can tell he understands and doesn't blame me for my distrust in him.

"I'm going to do whatever I can to fix this, I promise you that." I can tell he's sincere but I seriously don't want him to give me promises he may not be able to keep.

"Don't start a war with the communities then. Just move on, from it Negan no matter what they did. We could possibly lose this place otherwise." I almost beg him, the safety of my son is just too important to me.

"I don't know if I can now." I let his words sink in, but I don't presue the conversation anymore. Just letting lose words hang between us. I offer Negan a small smile, letting him know for now that we are okay.