Babygirl.

A Broken Leader.

The lock on the door clicks as it releases open, I lift my head stiffly, everything hurts, the numbness has gone entirely, the door swings open softly, Negan steps into the dark room and closes the door behind him.

"Turn on the light Negan." My voice comes out in a rasp and I actually see Negan jump at my words, normally I'd give him shit about scaring him but I can't tonight.

Negan flicks on the light switch and turns towards me, for a moment he doesn't register the state of the room or my well-being and I see how tired he is. It soon disappears when his brain catches up with him, he takes note of his surroundings quickly, his eyes dart to the bed and I see him release a breath when he sees Axl fast asleep.

He rushes over to me, he gently grasps my face assessing my injuries, the emotions well up again in my chest, just seeing his face reminds me of everything that happened with David, I want to cry, but everything hurts way too much.

"What the fuck happened here Clare?" He asks almost angry but I don't know who he could be angry at, himself maybe?

"David, he knew I was here." I lift my head from his hands, I turn and raise my hand pointing in the direction of the bathroom. Negan gets up from his crouched position and heads over to the bathroom, he comes back over and sits down next to me, dropping his head into his hand.

"Negan, Axl seen me do it, he watched me kill him, I couldn't help it, he was trying to grab him, I wouldn't have been able to stop him any other way." Negan lifts his head at this new information, looking completely shocked.

"I scared my son Negan, he wouldn't even look at me." I curl my fingers into my palms in desperation for this to be over, I wince at the pain in my left hand, Negan gently takes that hand and sees I've done some pretty bad damage.

"I'm so sorry this happened Babygirl. I should have been here. Fuck I need Simon to get rid of that fucker." He picks up his walkie and orders Simon to his room, telling him to bring a few men he trusts. Negan leads me into the trashed bathroom and starts washing the dark crimson blood from my skin, he's careful of all my injuries, finding more bruises and cuts underneath all the blood

"When Simon leaves with this fucker, I'll get him to bring the doctor back with him, the doctor can look you over while Simon and I fix this shit." He gestures around the room, I nod my head softly, my head feels like lead. Soon there's a knock on the door and I follow Negan out of the bathroom and sit on the bed, Negan looks over at me and Axl before opening the door.

"What's going on Negan?" Simon asks Negan as he steps into the room, I haven't seen him since that night in the clearing, with those people from the other community. Simon looks around the room and his eyes soon land on me and then my sons sleeping back. I watch him carefully, not sure I totally trust him, only ever having a few encounters with him.

"My brain isn't sure what question to ask first. But you look like shit Clare." Negan looks pissed that he even dare talk to me, but I just shrug my shoulders and say thanks sarcastically back to him.

"I didn't bring you here to talk to Clare, this fucker needs to be removed from my room." Negan shows Simon, David's body. Simon doesn't say anything for the moment he just nods his head and calls the men that he trusts into the room to remove David's body.

"Can you bring the good doctor back with you, he needs to look over Clare and I'd really appreciate your help with cleaning this mess up." Negan says to Simon, but not in a way that he's asking but ordering Simon to come back and help.

"Of course Buddy, anything for you, then maybe we can have a game of cards later." Simon pats Negan on the back, not really caring that he has to work. Simons men pick up the body and carry it out the door, Simon doesn't even touch his body, I guess he's just going to supervise the disposal.

"Maybe not tonight Si, but definitely another night for sure, crack open the good bottle of whiskey." A huge smile spreads across Simons face and he leaves on that note. Negan comes back over me, helping me stand and leading me over to the set of draws in his room.

"Let's get you changed before the doctor arrives. Did you want a shower? Can have a quick one." He brushes some stray hairs out of my face, looking over my face almost sadly.

"I'd love a shower, I feel horrible, the hot water would feel so great right now." I fall into his arms for a hug, wishing that this day would just end.

"Okay well lets go get you in and I'll pick out some clothes for you." He guides me to the shower and turns it on a nice warm setting, I wash the last of the blood from my body and the dirty feeling of killing another person. I wrap a large fluffy towel around my body and head back into the room, trying my best to avoid the debris that cover the bathroom floor.

Negan helps me into one of his baggy white T-shirts and some sweats that are actually my size. It doesn't take long for the doctor to arrive and he goes through all my injuries with me, other then the obvious ones, he thinks I might have a few broken ribs.

Negan arranges to have the equipment the doctor needs delivered to a spare room on this floor, to save me climbing down all the stairs, in the mean time I meant to just rest and stay as still as best as I possibly can.

My mind races though, I actually killed a man, this time it wasn't an accident, I did it intentionally, I'd do it again if I had the chance to go back. My sons life is the most important thing to me and I'm so scared that when he wakes up he'll be scared of me.

Negan stays with me the whole time, not even wondering that far around the room from me, he's slowly cleaning things up and placing things back on their rightful spots on the bookcase.

Axl shifts on the bed and sits up, he looks over at me and for a moment my heart skips a beat as I wait for him to decide what he wants. A sad and scared look passes over his face as he recalls what happened just an hour earlier.

"Mummy." He calls out to me holding his hands out ready for me to pick him up, I go to stand up, but Negan quickly rushes over and scopes Axl up, bring him over to me and laying him as softly as he can onto my chest.

"The doctor said to take it easy, that includes getting up and walking." I nod my head not in the mood to even try and argue with him about me being okay to walk over to the bed.

I'm just so relived that Axl seems to be okay with me and I hold him closely to my chest, never wanting anything like this to happen in front of him again, but I have a strange feeling that's just not going to be the case at all.