Babygirl.

Morning sickness.

Only now have I realised why I've been feeling sick lately, I thought it was me still recovering from being down in the cells, but it's been morning sickness this whole time. I honestly hope the baby isn't sick, after all that time I was in the cells, I could have been pregnant while I was down there.

It's a wonder I didn't miscarriage, I guess it's how I got so thin so quickly any nutrients that I put into my body, the baby would have just absorbed it. At least I'm starting to gain weight again and the colour has come back into my skin. Still no baby bump though.

I'll find out today how far along I am, today is the monthly check up on all pregnant women, which means the ultrasound machine only gets to be on today for one day every month. Unless a women is further down the track and needs more check ups.

It's been about a week since I've found out and I still don't know how to tell Negan, I haven't really had the chance to either. He's been so busy and constantly going out on runs, getting as much supplies before winter hits. It looks like it's going to be a very snowy one this year. 

I pull on some warm clothes, consisting of black jeans and grey shirt, some long grey sock, I pull the blue wife beater I found that day in the cabin over my shoulders. I also put on another jacket after that as it's freezing in this room, I roll the sleeves up, guessing both shirts must have belonged to men before this.

I tug my new brown boots onto my feet, Negan replaced them for my vans, saying that skater shoes were impractical now, I roll my eyes recalling the conversation.

I head out to see Dr. Carson, hoping that if I go early enough I might be able to get in first.

When I show up at the good doctor's office though there are two other women there.

I sit and wait not wanting to push in and I make it seem like I'm there for something and not a pregnancy check up.

I'm guessing news would travel really fast in this place, I don't want Negan to find out I'm pregnant through the grapevine.

It takes about an hour for both women to be done and by then three more have arrived. A couple seemed like they were about to drop a baby right then and there.

I enter the doctor's office still holding my arm as if I had injured it and that's why I was there.

Dr. Carson frowns as he sees me, but I say nothing until I've closed the door behind me.

"What? I'm trying to make it seem like I'm not here for a pregnancy check up." I say annoyed at him.

There's something about this man that just pisses me off, he always seems so bored and judgemental.

"So you haven't told Negan then." He says, the judgement in his voice still.

"No I haven't and my threat still stands if you say anything to him. I know you must have obligations, but I need to work this out first." I tell him seriously.

He says nothing more on the matter and goes about his task setting up the ultrasound machine.

He carefully lifts my shirt up, exposing my belly to him. He places a cold blue translucent gel on to my stomach.

I cringe at the chill from it, he presses the control against my tummy, wiggling it about trying to find evidence of the baby.

It takes a few moments of silence and I stare at the screen worriedly.

"Ah there it is, right there." Dr. Carson points to a medium sized black spot on the screen. 

"I'd say you are about six weeks along in the pregnancy. I'll get a picture printed for you and then we will go though some information."

I nod my head at him still staring at the screen that he freezed framed for me. He hands me a photo of my little blip.

Proceeding to pack the machine away until his next patient walks in. He hands me some vitamins.

"You need to take one of these everyday and if you ever feel like something is wrong then you come let me know."

"Alright, thank you Dr. Carson." I take my leave knowing that he is a busy man and I don't wish to hang around him longer then I have too.

I head outside for some fresh air, going out to the back fence where it is much more quieter.

I look over the the black and white photo, letting it really sink in that I'm growing another human being inside of me.

I decide that even if I can't take care of this baby I'll give it to someone who can care for it. This baby deserves a life, no matter who it is with.

I rub my hand on my belly smiling softly, never feeling this way before.

A shiver runs up my spine and my heartbeat races, anxiety flaring up. That feeling of being watched sneaks up on me again.

I turn and look outside the fence to see if there's anyone out there, but much like last time I see nothing of interest.

I shake my head and jog back inside, still a little paranoid and eager to be around other people.

I thought the best way for people to get to know me would be to work in the market.

I head down there and help an elderly lady, she knits beanies, scarfs, blankets, gloves and all sorts of stuff.

I watch the points for her while she gives out her works of art and talks happily about how to take care of the wooly items.

I meet more people then I thought I would, most were quite welcoming and interested in getting to know me.

Others just didn't seem to care, I didn't blame them. Everyone is rather busy in the markets and don't have time for general chit chat.

By the end of the day I'm exhausted, I worked later then I would have liked, the old lady's granddaughter hasn't returned from the laundry yet.

So I insisted on helping her get her belongings back to her room where they would be safe until tomorrow.

I stroll back to my room tiredly, my eyes half closed as I shuffle along the empty corridor.

Suddenly a strong hand grips the back of my neck, shoving my head in the hard concrete wall.

The last thing I remember before I pass out is the throbbing pain in my head and the warm blood trickling down my face.