Babygirl.

Old Memories.

(The girl singing this song is so beautiful, she needs some love.)

My birthday has been spent well so far, we actually went out into the garden to help today. All of us, including Negan, it was quite different seeing him harvest and plant things, he usually let's others do this for him.

I insisted though I wanted to spend the day outside and helping out with the Sanctuary. Negan was rather reluctant, considering I am still technically healing. Most people know that I'm back since I went to stop that women with the gun. Which reminds me I need to ask Negan what ended up happening to her, but not today.

A lady comes over with a bag of seeds offering them over to me, I frown and look into the bag. It's filled with flower seeds, lots of different types too.

"We have all these seeds, but we aren't sure what to do with them. We usually only plant fruit and vegetables but we just have these sitting around." I frown and wonder why they wouldn't plant flowers too, I get that we can eat the fruit and vegetables but flowers are helpful.

"We should plant some, in-between the fruit and vegetables plants, the more flowers will help attract bees, which helps all our plants grow more." I smile at her politely, I see Negan watching me from a distance.

"Which ones do you suggest?" The lady asks opening the bag and looking through the seeds.

"I suggest smaller plants, ones with really pretty flowers, but ones that won't spread everywhere, that might kill our crops." The lady thanks me and leaves quickly to do what I just said, I feel guilty, even though I'd like for people to see Negan and I as equals , it just won't work that way.

Negan was right, he needs to be seen as the one in charge or people won't follow him anymore and we contradict each other and I don't want that. I walk over to where Negan is chopping wood with an axe, Axl is playing with some of the other children and it makes me smile.

I focus my attention back on Negan and I can't help but admire him as his muscles move and flex with every hard swing of the axe, it arouses me almost embarrassingly quickly. I honestly thought I would be overly satisfied after last night, but he's just too damn attractive.

He finishes up and chats to one of the newer and younger men here, the one he was showing how to use an axe. He turns his head and looks over at me, I'm biting my lip as I study his taut arms. He excuses himself and comes over to me, wrapping me up in a hug.

"I think I know what I want for my birthday." I seductively whisper in his ear, subtly pulling his groin more against mine as we hug, I hear Negan sigh and I feel his erection growing. I pull myself away, before he gets too embarrassingly big in front of all these people.

"I thought that was a given, you were already going to get me, I just need to get you something else." I drop my head shyly and pull myself out of his embrace, I take his hand instead and he calls over Axl, our son excitedly bounds over to us, telling us about his new friends.

Negan scoops him up and let's him sit on one of his shoulders, he has a hold of his legs securely so he can't fall off, we walk together as a family back into the compound. Heading into the markets to look around for stuff that may interest us and Negan needs to talk to a few people about business stuff. Which I try my very best at not paying attention to it.

At one of the stands a lady is selling musical instruments and I don't mean just little ones either. There's guitars, trumpets, a keyboard and violins. The one that catches my eye the most is the cello. It's something I used to play as a kid, my mother loved when I played it. It was something that I actually enjoyed playing but when I moved out my mother said the cello was to stay, that I could come back and play it for her.

I rarely ever went around to my parents though and it makes me quiet sad now, it's not like I was overly busy, I should have found the time to see them. Because I would give anything to see them again, to tell them I'm sorry and that I love them.

"Hey, what's wrong Babygirl?" I didn't even notice Negan had come back he brushes the tears from my eyes and kisses my lips softly to help relax me.

"You shouldn't be crying on your birthday." He whispers carefully to me so only I can hear and I appreciate it.

"I just miss my parents so much, they bought me a cello for my birthday one year and when I moved away I couldn't take it with me. My mother wanted me to come home and play for her and I never did. I was a horrible daughter." A sob slips past my lips and he pulls me close to his body, he turns his head and looks at the cello.

"Did you want the cello Babygirl?" I look up at him, my cheeks are puffy and my still watery, he cups my cheek with his hand and I can't help but lean into it. I nod my head softly, before dropping it back into his chest. He immediately goes about organising to have the cello packed away, he cuddles me close, I open my eyes and Axl is cuddled up to his leg. I smile at seeing our little family together. A cello case is handed to Negan and I'm so overwhelmed with emotional I take the case from him and hug it to my chest.

"Did you want me to carry it for you Beautful?" I shake my head no, too at lost for words to talk. He kisses me on my forehead and picks up Axl we continue through the little market, Negan leads as out of the main hall and up into the cafeteria, the food smells amazing, we stay for lunch eating mini homemade pies with salad.

Once lunch is over I beg Negan if I could go back to our room as I still haven't recovered fully and I was staring to hurt. Of course he says yes and leads me and Axl back upstairs.

When we get to our room Negan goes into the bathroom to help Axl shower as he got so dirty playing in the garden. I on the other hand quickly go about setting up my cello, tuning it perfectly and making sure all the strings are in good condition, which they are.

I hold the bow over the strings and before I even begin to play I close my eyes for a moment. "Mum this is for you." I take a deep breath and let myself play.

It's like riding a bicycle, I start to play 'I can't help falling in Love' By Elvis Prisley. I sing along to it as well, something I also haven't done in a long time. Negan steps out of the bathroom and sort of just watches in awe, I let my emotions take over and sing the song with such passion and soul.

Singing for the people I lost, the people I loved, the people that I let down and disappointed. I sing it as if it's almost an apology to them and Negan sits down on the bed watching me, holding our son close to him, as they both listen intently.