for you

Part 41

ruby's pov

"Did I tell you about my two best friends?" 

"Who? Eve and Alex? What's up with them?"

"It's.. difficult. I feel terribly guilty but we've only been friends for like a month and I feel so happy and.. myself? When I'm around you. Sorry if that sounded cliché."

"No, it's okay. I feel the same actually."

I sighed in relief knowing the feeling is mutual. 

"Well when I'm around them I'm very quiet and now I think back whenever I'm with them I don't emotionally and genuinely feel like I'm with them. I feel somewhat empty and it's no where the same for when I'm around you. Do you get what I mean?"

"Yeah, I totally get it. You don't feel included and yourself when you're with them."

"That's probably the better way to explain it" I chuckle. 

"Are they like.. mean to you or anything?"

"Not really. I mean, that is just kind of- embroidered into their personality, especially Eve. Another thing is I've never told them most of my secrets and they have been my best friends for years. They don't know that my mom works as a maid and they assume I have my own apartment." 

"You didn't tell them?" 

"No. I thought it's because they've never asked so I kept my mouth sealed. But now I realised it's because I'm not comfortable with telling that. I don't know if they'd do anything about it. Maybe they will leave me, maybe not I will never know." 

"What about your boyfriend?" 

I let out a heavy sigh. Now that is another problem. "No different from them." 

"Do you even love him?" he hesitantly asks. 

"I- I don't know." I really don't. 

"Then why are you still with him? Why are you still friends with those girls if they make you feel that way? It's either you completely cut ties with them or you talk it out."

"I can't just cut ties, they have been my friends for years now. And my boyfriend too." 

"Ever heard of quality over quantity? It doesn't matter how long you've been with them. If they make you feel like shit cut them out. You don't deserve those people" he advices. 

"I just have never thought about this before. I'd always push these 'negative thoughts' about my friends thinking I'm overthinking."

"Maybe that's why you've been friends with them for years. You never think about you when you're with them and it shows."

"I.. I don't know. I'm scared."

"Let me ask you something; have they been keeping in touch with you for the past month you've been here?"

"No."

"If that's not convincing enough I don't know what is." 

"How do you know they haven't been keeping in touch with me? Do you go through my phone?" I tease. 

"No! Ruby, I hung out with you everyday for the past month and I've never seen one message notification from them. I could kinda guess. Plus it's what toxic friends do. When the person isn't there, they completely leave them out." 

I frown. "I guess I'll consider your suggestion."

He shakes his head. "All that and you're only considering?? If you don't cut ties I'll do it for you."

"Don't, I don't want you to be part of this problem" I sighed. "I'll do it when I'm ready."

"You better. It's for your own good" he says sternly. 

I chuckle. "Oh and" I grabbed my bag, unzipped it and took out the matcha sandwich cake. "I didn't have the appetite to eat it just now so I kept it in my bag."

"I bought the strawberry shortcake one as well, but I don't know where I put it." We both laugh. 

"Dumbass" I laugh. "Just have some of mine." I broke a piece off my cake. 

"No thanks."

"Come on, just a bit. I already broke it off for you!"

"Fine" he huffs and took the piece. We both moved our gaze to the sky above us as I ate my cake.

"You should get a Rover one day."

"What?" he asks. 

"You know those old Triton cars? The one with the big bonnet space at the back? Yeah if you get that we can go here and sit in that space while we eat our sandwich cakes. That'd be fun" I smiled at the thought. 

"Okay" he chuckles.