Playing With Knives- LoZ

scene 74- confession

"Why don't you guys go to bed?"
"Oh. Um, yeah. That's a good idea. C'mon."
"Wind. You should get to bed. You need sleep."
"I want to know if he's okay."
"He's fine."
"How do you know?"
"I- listen, it doesn't matter. I can take care of this."
"Twilight. Please."
"He's fine. Go to bed."
"I at least want to say good night or something. Please?"
"Fine."
"Thank you!"

~~

"I'm sorry I made you do that. Y'know, talk about your story. I know you didn't want to."
"It's fine. It's just... hard. To talk about it. I don't know why. I guess I'm a coward."
Wind looked at Wild, a little surprised by the mumbled answer. He hadn't expected him to actually answer.

"You're not a coward. You have the Triforce of Courage."
"But I don't."
"What are you talking about? Of course you have it."
"I don't. I don't have it. The only Triforce I've ever seen was Zelda's."
"Wait, what?"
"See? I'm a failure. I'm not even a real hero."
"That doesn't mean anyth-"
"Yes, it does. All of you have it."
"Yeah? And?"

Wild looked up at Wind, who was standing in front of him.
"My story is so different from yours. Almost nothing matches up. How do I know I'm the real hero?"
"Well, you have the Master sword, and your here, so-"
Wild interrupted Wind and looked back down.
"It must not be that important. I got it when I was, like, four. And it runs out of energy constantly."
"You got it when you were four?"

Wild nodded.
"It's not even that good of a sword. I have much more powerful weapons."
"Then why do you use it so much?"
"It's the only one that doesn't break. Even the Champion's weapons break."
"Oh. How do you know?"

Wild covered his face with his hands and sobbed,
"I broke Mipha's..."
"Oh."
"She was so nice... and I broke her spear..."
"At least you put it to good use."
"But I didn't! I was f**king around and throwing it at random shit, and it broke!"
"Oh."
"And that was before the last two memories..."
"Memories?"

Wild didn't answer. Wind sat down next to him and rubbed his back.
Wild let out a sigh and said,
"I wish none of this ever happened. Ever. No Calamity, no malice, no guardians, no Divine Beasts, no champions. No me." He sighed again. "Sometimes I wish that I didn't exist. Or that I could disappear. Forever."
Wind stopped rubbing his back and looked at him.
"Don't think that."
"Why would it affect you?"
"Because... we're friends."
"You barely know me."
"I do know you."
"I don't let you know me. You probably see me as a stupid, messed-up guy. Just some pitiful coward that can't do anything right."
"That's not true!"

Wild tensed up and balled up his fists, but then he relaxed. Then, in the saddest voice Wind and Twilight had ever heard, he slowly and quietly said,
"It is true. You all hate me so much that you lie to me. Then, when I tell you my story, none of you do anything. You just sit there and don't care. You don't care that I'm upset. You don't even bother to lie. You don't comfort me, tell me it's okay. And even if you did, I would get mad because it's all lies. And would yell at you, even though you don't deserve it. You're just trying to make me feel better. But that never works. It just hurts me more. I know it's not lies. I know that you care about me. But my mind keeps telling me that you don't, and I believe it. I know that you want me to stay. I know that you want me here. I know that... that you care. About my wellbeing. About how I feel. About what I think. But sometimes, it doesn't seem that way. And that's all I think about. The times where you don't care as much. The times when you're preoccupied. I'm such a needy asshole. A terrible person. I want- no, need- you to believe in me, but I don't believe in you, or myself. I don't believe you. I brush you off when ever you try to help. And I know that Zelda cares. But I get upset with her so often. When she's only trying to help. And it's the same with you guys. You try to help and offer support, but I push it away and get mad. There's something wring with me, and I know it. I acknowledge it. But I try to hide it. And when you figure it out, I get angry. I yell. I hurt you. I try to make you feel bad for trying to help. I'm the one who should feel bad. And I do. I feel bad for denying everything and acting like... like you hate me. Like you don't want me to be here. But I keep coming. I keep coming here, even though it hurts me to be around you. You're all just so... so happy. All the time. And I watch, and I'm jealous. I wish I could be that happy. But my mind won't let me be happy. It doesn't focus on what it has, and instead it focuses on what it doesn't have. Like happiness. And the willingness to accept help. And it's not pride that makes me not want to accept it. I don't have that. I just feel like I can't be helped. I know it hurts you when I push you away. I tell myself it's for your own good, but I know that's not true. You probably hate me for that. Even if you didn't before, I bet you do now. I'm sorry. I know that doesn't excuse what I've done. But I'm really, really sorry." He looked up at them. "So... can you forgive me? And help me?"

Twilight hugged him.
"It's okay. I'd love to help."
Wind took a step forward and joined the hug.
"Me too."

"Thank you. So much. And... would you mind not telling the others about this?"
Twilight shook his head.
"No, I wouldn't mind. Would it be okay if I told Time, though?"
"Yes."

There was a short silence, which Wild broke, sobbing.
"Thank you..."

Then, so quiet that he could barely understand himself, Wild whispered,
"I'll try not to leave again."

No promises, though.

No promises.

But he'd try.
Trying was good enough, right?

Right?