Eroda |h.s.|

Not My Fault

" You can't blame me, darling. Not even a little bit."

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(Emma's P.O.V.)

(Flashback)

I was going towards Harry's house to feed his fish. He seems to really care about her. I can't blame him though. It seemed like Anna was his best friend at the dark times in his life, when even the other lads couldn't help him.

I started thinking about my feelings for Harry. He is such a sweet guy and I do not care about what my grandma says. I really like spending time with him and I think I am slowly starting to develop feelings for him.

I mean, it is crazy, right. We have known each other for just a few days and I already get the butterflies in my stomach when he is around. I feel like a silly high school girl, but I don't mind.

I wonder if he is feeling the same way though. That thought started to bother me. What if I decide to confess my feelings to him one day and he rejects me because he doesn't feel the same way? I really do not want that to happen, so I need to wait a bit more. I need to be sure that he feels the same way.

After a minute, I got to Harry's place. I opened the door and looked for Anna's food. I found the kitchen and saw a can of fish food on the counter. I took it in my hands and started walking towards Harry's bedroom, where Anna's aquarium is.

When I got there, I dropped the can of then fish food I was holding and covered my mouth with my hands. My hands were shaking and I started hyperventilating. What I saw really shocked me.

Anna was completely upside-down in thr aquarium and her eyes were closed.

Oh my god. She is...dead.

I panicked. I didn't know what to do. How am I supposed to tell this to Harry? He will probably think that I was responsible for all of this and hate me for the rest of his life.

I was frozen. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to think. I just stood there, completely still in time and space. Thousands of thoughts were rushing through my mind and my insides were turning uncontrolablly.

Before I knew it, I hrmeard the door handle of the front door moving. Soon, I realised that Harry, Louis and Zayn were standing at the entrance of Harry's bedroom, looking completely shocked.

Harry looked like he is going to fall to the ground and start crying. He covered his mouth with his hands and started shaking his head with disbelief in his eyes.

Then suddenly, tears started to well up in my eyes as I started to shake my head too.

-Harry, let me explain.- I started. He looked at me with a really angry expression as he yelled:

-There's nothing to explain. Get out of my house, you killer!

Then Louis and Zayn started to hold his arms as his hands turned into fists. Was he going to hit me? I need to explain everything to him.

-Harry, please, I beg you. Just let me explain!- I cried. He then lost his temper and yelled:

-I SAID GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I couldn't take it anymore. Loud sobs escaped my lips as I started running out of the house. I did not know where exactly to run to. I cannot get back home. Grandma will see me and immediately start questioning me and I am not in the mood for lying.

The rain started pouring.

Awesome.

That made me cry even more as I started running towards the local bar. Everyone in the room started to look at me weirdly as I entered. I just stayed silent and went to sit at an empty table next to a big window. I started looking through the glass, watching the rain pouring and water dripping down the window.

I couldn't stop crying. Harry probably hates me. If it really was my fault, he would have every right to hate me, but it wasn't. The bartender stood in front of my table and started staring at me with his Resting Fish Face.......

Oh right! He is expecting me to order a drink.

I decided on alcohol. I don't really care about getting drunk at the moment. The bartender walked away as I continued staring out the window.

After I finished my drink I decided on pounding on Harry's door and begging for him to forgive me. Then I realised that it is probably a bad idea. I started thinking about going home, but it is so hard. I do not want to do that.

So there I was. Sitting in an almost empty bar by now. Looking like shit and wondering when is the bar going to close and when will I be forced to get back home and come face to face with my curious grandma.

Then I thought of something.

I walked towards the bartender and asked:

-Do you have a paper and a pen?

He nodded and handed me a notebook paper and a black pen.

I sat back at my table and started writing. I wanted to write something to apologise to Harry (of course I won't give it to him), but my feelings turned out as a song:

Don't blame me for falling.
You are not a little boy.
Don't blame me drunk writing.
Wasn't ready for it all.

You can't blame me, darling.
Not even a little bit.
I was aware
And I'm just an arrogant daughter of a bitch who can't admit when she's sorry.

Don't call me "Baby" again.
You've got your reasons.
Don't know if you're trynna be friends.
Don't know you mean it.

Don't call me "Baby" again.
It's hard for me to go home.
To be so lonely.

I just hope you see me
in a little better life.
Do you think it's easy
Being of the blamed kind?

'Cause I want the shape of your lips.
I need it.
It's just a trick.
And this is it, so I'm sorry.

Don't call me "Baby" again.
You've got your reasons.
Don't know if you're trynna be friends.
Don't know you mean it.

Don't call me "Baby" again.
It's hard for me to go home.
To be so lonely.

To be so lonely.
To be so.
To be so lonely.

To be so lonely.
To be so.
To be so lonely.

And I'm just an arrogant daughter of a bitch who can't admit when she's sorry.

Don't call me "Baby" again.
You've got your reasons.
Don't know if you're trynna be friends.
Don't know you mean it.

Don't call me "Baby" again.
It's hard for me to go home.
To be so lonely.

To be so lonely.
To be so.
To be so lonely.

To be so lonely.
To be so.
To be so lonely.

____________________________

A/N: I am sorry for changing the lyrics. I just thought that this way it would add up more to the situation. Anyway, "To Be So Lonely" is such an amazing song. Hope you like it as much as I do. xx

All the love,

ElenaKostic xx