Akatsuki Boyfriend Scenarios

Zetsu-Thoughts on You

"All right," Y/N said within her monotone voice, as she talked to Sasori and Kakuzu. "So what you're looking for is...?"

We watched from afar, hiding behind a tree. Oh, how beautiful she looked, with the sun dancing in her hair... Grr, I want them to stay away from her; what if they hurt her? It's just Kakuzu and Sasori. They would never lay harm to her... As long as she's useful to them, sure; but what about after? Then we'll teach them a lesson... Agreed.

"A poison that will burn the lungs from the inside out," Sasori replied, "Airborne, of course..."

"Just airborne? Or also injectable?" Y/N replied, crossing her arms and tilting her head to the side.

"...You can do that?" Sasori blinked rapidly a few times.

"It's a simple chemical composition; remains liquid until exposed to air itself. Not that hard to create," Y/N shrugged.

"But how will it directly aim for the lungs, if injected?" Sasori asked, suspicion in his eyes.

"Simple: this poison attaches itself to the blood. Once the victim attempts to inhale, the blood will rush toward the lungs, and as it comes into contact with the outside air, in the aioli, it will chemically combust to eat at and destroy the bronchial tubes from the inside out."

"Hmmm... you're diabolical," Sasori nodded thoughtfully, a boring note in his tone. "How soon can it be ready?"

"3 days, with an antidote on hand in case your teammate falls victim. $200. Although, if paired with Deidara, I'd say let him die," Y/N replied icily, her hair shifting in the wind. Ah, she always smelled so faintly of the damp earth, always pleasant...

Sasori nodded and left promptly. He has bought poison from her before; he knew exactly what to do when three days passed.

Kakuzu, as our eyes narrow on the money-loving bounty hunter, what are you planning with our Y/N?

"You don't like Deidara?" Kakuzu mused.

"Too loud for my tastes," she responded, her tone soothing and even. "What kind of poison were you looking for, Kakuzu?"

"Paralyzing; liquid base." We growled low under our breath as Kakuzu looked her over. I see the lust in his eyes... What should we do? Would she even respond to him?! I doubt it... What can we do?! Not our Y/N!

"Hmm... we could make a lot of money off of these poisons..." Kakuzu muttered under his breath. "How much would you charge? For making them and ingredients?"

"Depends on the poison..." her tone became dark, dangerous...alluring... Oh, how I want to see lightning flash behind those eyes. Speak for yourself, I want to see a storm brewing. Perhaps we can compromise and wish to see her kick Kakuzu off the face of the world? Can't argue with that... especially since he keeps looking at our Y/N like she's his!

"...You know," We heard Kakuzu's voice drip with honey, "We'd make a great team...I'd sell your poison and antidotes... You'd brew whatever your heart desired..." Kakuzu's arm hovered in the air, nearly landing on her shoulders...Not. Our. Y/N! "And I'm sure I can satisfy some other needs you must ha-" A vine wrapped around Kakuzus throat, cutting off his air and lifting him into the air.

"Woah... Was that Y/N?" We murmured in unison. Our heart thundered rapidly as she, without looking back, wrapped the vines tightly around Kakuzu's struggling form.

"Kakuzu, I am quite fine here by myself. Do what you wish; do as you see fit. But. If you involve me in your sick, twisted fantasies... then you will become fertilizer for my plants. Are we clear?"