I Think I Kinda, You Know | Joshua Bassett

7 - Christmas

It's Christmas eve. I'm celebrating Christmas and New Year's Day with my family on my dad's side so today we're going to my grandparents' house. It's gonna be like a three hour road trip.

My parents and I all get ready. We pack our luggage in the trunk and make sure that nothing gets left behind. After everything us settled, we start the road trip!

To be honest with you, this road trip is not the most fun that I've had but... I've had worse ones too. It's just like how road trips are supposed to be, I guess.

We get there at around 11. I get out of the car and I can already smell gravy. We all hug and spend time together while waiting on my other family members to arrive.

Once everyone's here, we just play Uno and bake Christmas cookies.

Honestly, there's not much to talk about. We just do stuff families normally do.

***

Christmas Day! It's that time of the year again! My cousins and I are opening presents first thing in the morning.

Not gonna lie, I got some pretty good stuff. I got things that I actually need. My family knows me so well.

We also do secret santa and my cousin Emily got me. I got a Bath & Body Works candle and some hand sanitizers.

We're just blasting Christmas music the entire time. Everyone's dancing and singing to the song, except for one person. My nana. Not like usual, she's just sitting on a couch. She usually loves to dance.

"Hey nana, why are you not joining us?" I ask and sit next to her.

"I'm just a little tired, that's all. And I love seeing you guys having a good time."

"Aw but you have like the best dance moves ever!"

"It's just an old lady dance. It's nothing compared to your dancing," she laughs.

"No, come on!" We both laugh.

Nana looks like she's looking for someone. "Hey, where's the boy?" Nana asks.

"Um... The boy who?" I ask back, getting a little confused.

"That boy you know from primary school. The one who usually celebrates Christmas with us!"

"Oh, Joshua. Yeah he's celebrating Christmas with his family this year."

"Oh it's been a long time since I've seen that boy. But I know he's the right one for you. You guys are going to be happy together."

"No, wait, Nana, we're not dating. He's my best friend."

"You friend zoned him?"

"Nooo. Nana, he never asked me out. And we don't love each other that way!"

"Oh Rachel. You think I can't see it? Just by seeing the way he looks at you already gives away so much. His eyes light up every time. And the same thing goes to you."

"Yeah I mean, we love each other. We're best friends!"

"Wow you really are the slowest grandkid I have. He's in love with you, Rachel!"

I didn't expect nana would say that. It's like my heart skips a beat. What is she talking about? No! He obviously is not in love with me!

"He's not, nana. And why do you think that?"

"Well it's obvious."

"How is it obvious?"

"Well, first of all, his eyes light up every time he sees you, and secondly, he's been showing it so much! He's been showing so much affection towards you!"

"We love each other, nana."

"Do you two hang out together a lot? Just the two of you?"

"Uh... yeah?"

"Does he always put you first among other things? Even himself?"

"Well, I mean... Y- Yeah?"

"Then sweetie, he's in love with you! You think I've lived this long and don't know about these things?"

"It's just..." I pause. I scoff in disbelief. "Are you sure about this?" I can feel my smile growing bigger.

"What, you don't believe me? And I know that you have the same feelings for him too," she smiles. I smile back to her. "Loving someone and being in love with someone are two very different things."

***

I can't stop thinking about what nana told me earlier. Is he really... In love with me? But I mean he can't be, can he? Ugh I don't know!

I'm lying on my bed. It's currently 9.58 pm. I can't sleep. Then and idea pops inside my head.

I take my laptop from my backpack and open it. I immediately go to Google.

"How... To tell... If my best friend... Is in love with me," I mumble while typing on my laptop. I press enter. I go to the first website that pops.

Friendship and dating are very important. In the end, best friends make great marriages. That being said, since you didn't say what your feelings are for this guy, I'm guessing you don't have romantic feelings for him. So for him, this is unquestionably a very delicate situation.

If he is actually falling in love with you, he's probably scared and nervous about you finding out, since he doesn't know how you'll respond.

He doesn't want to do anything to jeopardize the friendship you already have. That's a good thing. Friendships are priceless and need protecting and nurturing so they will grow.

I'm genuinely shocked. That's actually what's going on with me. I've been having a crush on him and I can't tell him that because I don't want to ruin our friendship. Is this what's happening to him too? But I mean I don't know for sure if he's in love with me or not. Maybe he's never said anything because he doesn't feel the same way I do. Ugh why does it have to be this complicated?

A/N
GUUYYSS I'm sorry this update is a little late. I already went back to school so I can't really write one chapter in one day. But I'll try my best to update as often as possible. ALSO I got 500 reads already??