I Think I Kinda, You Know | Joshua Bassett

24 - Shatters

It's summer. Finally. I don't have to worry about school for the next 10 weeks.

I went to Abby's house today. It was just like a lazy girls day. We just watched movies, eat a bunch of different snacks, and of course, spilling the hottest teas like all girls do. Today was my last day with her before she goes on vacation tomorrow for about 2 weeks.

It is now about 8 pm and I'm walking home. Today was fun. I had so much fun with Abby. I'm definitely gonna miss her.

I haven't seen Josh in a couple of days. I mean, in real life. We still FaceTime all the time. He's completely recovered now and we totally need to hang out as soon as possible. It's been forever since the last time we hang out, like only the two of us. We were thinking to go somewhere tomorrow, maybe to the mall or something. And maybe I'll tell him about I feel tomorrow, I don't know. We'll see I guess.

I'm only a few steps away from my house right now. I just take the remaining steps to my front door. However, just when I'm about to open the door, I hear loud noises from inside. I open the door slowly and the noise becomes louder and clearer. It's my parents. They're yelling at each other again. It's the third time this week. I can't. I can't hear it. I just run upstairs to my room and close it so I don't have to hear it.

I'm lying on my bed. I can still hear them everytime they raise their voices. My whole body feels numb. All I can do is stare blankly at the ceiling, trying to hold back tears. A tear starts to drop down to my ear, followed by another tear.

I get up from my bed and just walk back and forth. I'm so scared. And I'm worried about them. Then, something unexpected happen. A loud shattering sound echoes throughout the entire house. Something just broke. Something glass just broke. My whole body freezes and I shut my eyes tight after hearing that sound, causing a few more tears to drop.

I lost it. I can't. I can't hold it. I try to get that sound out of my head but I can't. It keeps repeating over and over again.

A few minutes later, they're not screaming at each other anymore. It's kinda late so maybe I'll just try to sleep and forget about everything.

***

It's now around 10 pm and I still can't sleep. I still can't get it out of my head and the atmosphere is just different in my house. I can't stay here. I just wanna go somewhere.

I grab my phone and open my contact. Abby and Josh's names are at the very top of the list. My thumb was just about to tap Abby's name and call her when I suddenly remember something. She's leaving tomorrow first thing in the morning and she's probably already asleep by now. Then my thumb moves to Josh's name and tap on it.

He answers after about 3 rings.

"Hello? Rachy?"

"Um... Can I go to your house?" I tremble.

"Rachy it's late. Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"Can I just go there?"

"Yeah, yeah sure. But it's late. How about I go to yours?"

"It's kinda... Weird right now in here."

I think he knows what I'm talking about.

"Oh. I'm sorry. I- I'll pick you up. There's no way you're walking alone this late at night."

"No. Joshy it's fine. Your house is literally only two blocks away."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. I'll wait for you in the living room."

I go downstairs and get out of what feels like prison. I walk to Josh's house as fast as I can, but I'm not running. I keep my hands inside my hoodie pocket.

After about like two minutes, I finally arrive at his place. I knock on the door and within 0.2 seconds he opens the door.

"Hey," he says as soon as he sees me, looking super worried. He hugs me. This is just exactly what I needed right now. "Everything's gonna be fine," he whispers inside my ear.

We pull away. I get inside.

"You can stay here. If you want. Until everything's back to normal."

"Thanks, Joshy."

We go upstairs to his room.

"You can sleep here. I'll just sleep on the couch."

"What? No!"

Okay so he knows that my parents are very strict about me sleeping with a boy and he doesn't have a guest room in his house since he comes from a big family. But... No! He can't sleep on the couch just because of me!

"If anyone is gonna sleep on the couch, it should be me," I say to him.

"No. I can't let you do that. You've been going through a lot and I don't wanna make it worse."

"But you can't sleep on the couch just because of me! It's just not right."

"Come on. I slept on the couch all the time on set. Don't worry about me, okay?" He tucks my hair behind my ear. "I'll be downstairs if you need me." He turns around and starts leaving the room.

"You can sleep here!"

That came out of nowhere.

He turns around with a confused look. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah. I mean this is your room after all. And your bed is pretty big."

"Are you sure? Aren't your parents-"

"Can we... not talk about them? And besides, I'm not a child anymore. They can't keep controlling my life."

I mean nothing is gonna happen. My parents are just worrying too much. I'm just spending a night at Joshy's, my best friend since the first grade. When I say nothing's gonna happen, nothing's gonna happen.

"Okay."

He gets inside his room again and closes the door behind him. I sit on his bed.

"Um, do you need anything? Like a blanket, or..."

"No it's fine, Joshy. Thanks."

He nods. He walks around the bed and sit on the other side of the bed.

"Try to get some sleep, okay? If you need anything just wake me up."

I nod.

"Good night."

"Good night."

We both lie down and try to sleep. I'm lying sideways on the edge of the bed with my back facing him, trying to get as far away from him. This is my first time ever "sleeping" with a boy and I feel weird. But I guess it's still better than sleeping alone at home.

I still can't sleep right away. It takes me around 3 hours to finally fall asleep.

A/N
I know it took me forever to update but thank you for baring with me! Hope you liked this chapter!