I Think I Kinda, You Know | Joshua Bassett

43 - 1:46 am

"Who is she?! What's her name, Peter?! Answer me!"

"Shelly! God damnit!"

"First you got fired from your job and now you're seeing this woman named Shelly?!"

"She offered me a job at her place. She's only my new boss!"

"Oh, only your new boss? You didn't even tell me you got a new job! Is she the reason why you always get home late?!"

"I've been really busy the last couple days. She has nothing to do with me going home late!"

"Oh yes she does if you're so busy every night fucking your own boss!"

"What the hell are you talking about?!"

"You think I didn't know?! I saw your flirty text with her! And you think I didn't notice how you always come home smelling like alcohol every night?!"

"You're overreacting. There is nothing going on between me and her!"

"And I'm supposed to believe that? What if Rachel finds out? What if Rachel knows her dad is an absolute asshole?! This is why I've been very strict with her about boys. I don't want her to find an asshole like her dad!"

"So I've always been an asshole to you?!"

"Well yes! Do you know how many times I have to hide all of this from Rachel?! I'm sick and tires of this!"

"Then stop hiding it from her! She's not a child anymore. She's big enough to know everything! Then she'll realize how terrible of a mother you really are!"

Her jaw drops down like it's heavier than a ton of brick.

"Get out of my house!"

"Lucy-"

"Get the hell out of my house!"

--

Everything is blurry. I can't control my breathing. Tears are coming out of my eyes. My entire body is weak. What is happening?

I look around, trying to figure out what's happening. But my vision is still blurry. I know I'm not in my room. I'm not in my house. But I don't know where I am.

"Hey hey hey. Are you okay?" A voice from beside me asks. It's Josh's voice. It's him. I know it's him.

"My parents are splitting up!" I cry. I can't help but let it all out until I can't breathe.

"No. No, they're not. It was just a dream. It wasn't real. None of that was real, okay?"

My mind is going a thousand miles per hour. I start questioning everything.

"My dad was fired from his job and he cheated on this woman named Shelly and my mom kicked him out of the house because she was trying to hide everything from me and-"

"Woah woah calm down. None of that was real, okay? It was just a dream. See? We're in my room. Your parents aren't here."

I look around as my vision starts to get better. And yes, we are in his room. Everything starts coming back to me. We went to my house and my parents were fighting so we went to his house instead.

So it was all a dream? But it felt so real. It was very vivid and clear. I've never felt a dream so real in my life.

"It's okay they're not real." He puts his hand on my back and starts rubbing it gently.

But I still can't calm down. If that was a dream then what does it mean? I've lived 17 years and I don't remember a single dream I have but this one is so vividly clear. I remember every single detail of it. Of my parents fighting and splitting up. There must be something going on.

"Hey sshhh..." He wipes the tears on my cheeks. "Look at me."

He lifts my chin up with his hand. My eyes meet his comforting eyes. "It's not real. Your parents are fine. I promise."

No Josh. You don't know that. You're just saying that to comfort me. They literally were fighting a few hours ago. My mind has been working so hard that my head hurts. Tears have already stopped pouring out of my eyes but I'm still trying to catch my breath.

I feel so tired. Why do I feel so tired I literally was sleeping 5 minutes ago!

I lean into him and rest my head on his chest. He wraps one arm around me and the other starts to stroke my hair.

"Sshhh it's okay," he whispers on my ear.

He keeps whispering things like that for like 5 minutes straight and it really helps me to relax. I start to breathe normally again even though my nose is still really stuffy.

"You wanna drink? I'll go get you some water, okay?"

Yes please. My throat is so dry like my skin during the winter. I nod slowly.

"Alright. I'll be right back."

He then leaves the room to get me some water.

I look over to his nightstand where his alarm clock is at. It's 1:46 am. It's a little cold tonight so I take the blanket amd wrap it around myself.

I still can't stop thinking about the fact that that dream was so clear and it felt so real. It didn't even feel like a dream. What if that was what's actually happening in my house and for some reason I got a vision of it in my dream? What if all of that actually happened and I could see it?

Oh my god I'm going insane. Josh why are you taking so long?

He comes back a few seconds later with a glass full of water. He sits on the edge of the bed and hands me the glass of water.

"Here," he says as I take it from his hand.

I only drink half of the water. He notices that I'm done and takes the glass and puts it on the night stand beside him.

I'm staring emptily on the bed. It still haunts me.

"Rachy..."

"I'm scared." My voice cracks when I say that. I think I'm gonna break again.

"You shouldn't be. There's nothing to be scared of."

"What if it's all real? What if it actually happens?"

"No. You're just overthinking it. I know your parents. They wouldn't do such a thing."

"But they-"

"Just because they're arguing, that doesn't mean that they don't love each other anymore. They're just trying to figure things out. And splitting up is a big decision to make. They're not gonna split up just because of one single argument that they're having. My parents argue a lot but splitting up is something that has never crossed their minds. And your dream... It was just a dream, okay? It's not real. Your parents are not splitting up, okay?"

I gulp and take a deep breath.

"Come here," he whispers with his arms open.

I scoot closer to him as he wraps both arms around me. I close my eyes. I feel safe.

He kisses the top of my head while still caressing my hair.

"Let's go back to sleep," he whispers.

I open my eyes. We pull away from the hug as he scoots back and lays down on the bed.

I lay on his chest and he wraps his arms back around me.

It takes me awhile to actually fall back asleep because it keeps replaying inside my head but eventually my eyes are starting to get heavier and heavier and I eventually fall asleep.