I Think I Kinda, You Know | Joshua Bassett

66 - It Is About Her!

"Rachel wait!"

Yup he's still following me. Now here's my plan. Go to the bathroom where he can't follow me in, just hide and sob there until he goes away, get out, and go home. Now what I need to do is find a bathroom to hide and get the hell away from him. But fuck I can't even see with my eyes full of tears!

My vision is still a little blurry but I see a doorway leading outside and I just keep running there. Ugh these heels are hurting my feet so much!

I reach the outdoor area and the cold winter breeze starts hitting my skin. The moon is already shining in the dark night sky.

This is frustrating. And very painful.

"Rachel please-"

"Would you please stop following me?!"

He stops and backs away a little bit.

"Why didn't you tell them?"

"What?" He quickly replies, barely moving his lips.

"You really wanted to sing that in front of everyone?"

"Well-"

"I thought you already told them that we're not performing tonight!"

"I... Didn't," he says a little quietly while looking down. He looks like he knows he should've done what he should've done.

"Is there something wrong with you? Do you not have emotions or something? You think singing a love song with your ex-girlfriend would be an easy and normal thing to do?"

"No!-"

"This break up may be an easy thing for you but it is not for me, Josh! It's been so fucking hard! So please... Just... Don't make this even harder than it already is!"

"No. You think this has been easy for me? No, Rachel trust me. It's been so hard for me too."

"Oh yeah? Shouldn't it be easier for you since you don't have to hide your little secret anymore and you can fuck her anytime you want now?"

"Stop... Making this about her!"

"It is about her! She's the fucking reason we broke up!"

A girl in a blue dress appears in my peripheral. Both of our heads turn to see the person standing in the doorway. My vision is super blurry I can't even see the face, but I can tell that it's Claire since she's the only one with a short dress.

I'm pretty sure she heard my last sentence.

"A- Are you guys okay?" She asks.

I take deep breath. I wipe away my tears and sniffle before answering, "Yeah, we're fine."

Claire still looks a little worried. We're all just looking at each other for a solid 15 seconds.

"Are you sure? Josh what did you do?"

"Nothing!"

"No, we're fine, Claire. Really," I say one more time.

"Are you guys breaking up?"

No, Claire. We already did.

We both stay silent, which gives Claire the answer that we are. Or did.

"I'm sorry," Claire says, breaking the silence. "Um... Dad's looking for you. He wants to take another picture."

"Yeah we'll be there," he replies. His voice barely comes out.

"Okay..." She hesitantly says before leaving.

It's really cold out here so I just hug myself while also trying to calm myself down.