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CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN: BLAME
EMMA SAT ON THE couch staring at nothing in particular as her family started to converse. Her hand was placed in her hair as the other was splayed across her stomach. Her knees were pulled to her chest as she listened to them.
"We should leave." Edward suggested.
"Edward, are you sure that's a good idea?" Esme asked, looking at her son before glancing over at Emma with worried eyebrows. Jasper was sitting on the arm of the couch, keeping a hand on his sisters shoulder so that she would stay in reality.
"It'll keep Bella safe."
"From me right?" Emma asked, these being the first words she had said since she was brought back inside. Edward's eyes landed on his sister who still staring blankly ahead. He was silent for a moment too long, which caused Emma to ignore his next words knowing they weren't true.
"From all of us." Edward corrected. Emma got up off the couch without a word and walked out of the room. She walked up to her room and started to pack her things. She could hear her siblings start to do the same. Emma couldn't feel anything. Her emotions went completely numb. She was so angry with herself that the rage was numbing. She couldn't think straight. She couldn't do anything without seeing herself lunge at Bella. She slammed the clothes in her hands down into the bag as she covered her face with her hands, trying her hardest to keep in her sobs that so badly wanted to escape.
She leaned against the wall, keeping her balance as she squeezed her eyes shut. She was going to hyperventilate. Maybe she should just stop breathing so that everything would freeze. Her panic attacks, her thoughts, maybe they would all stop if she held her breath. So, she did. It didn't work. She just felt like she was suffocating. She breathed again, looking at her suitcase before walking back over to it. It was for the better, she knew that.
She zipped up the suitcase and walked over to the window. She noticed that it was a clear night. The stars were shining brightly, taunting Emma. She glared at them, knowing she couldn't find it in herself to go outside and just gaze at them like she usually did whenever they decided to come out and play.
Maybe she should go and apologize to Bella. She shook away that thought as soon as it came. She wouldn't allow herself near the human. She was a danger. She was a monster. She couldn't do anything right. The thoughts repeated over and over in her head. She wanted to scream out in frustration.
Emma closed her eyes and exhaled a slow and shaky breath. She needed to pull herself together. She got out another bag and then walked over to her bookshelf, placing all of her books inside knowing they were probably going to be gone for a long while. Emma sat on her bed with a frown. She pressed her knees to her chest, leaning her back against the wall as she stared out of the glass. Her arms hugged her knees and she just sat there, frozen in that one spot for the remainder of the night.
