Boku No Hero Academia One Shots [Book 2]

Izuku Midoriya

Requested by: _Leoniee_

Bigender: Presenting as two genders, i.e male and female (comprised of gender expression and social expression).

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The façade of equanimity, that seemed a permanent fixture on your face, was finally beginning to falter. Your most clandestine truth had been revealed, through no fault but your own. Your expectations were grandiose - instant acceptance, and entry into a romantic pact. But little expertise was required to decipher that expression of confusion and disinclination. He was clearly nervous, perhaps worried of arousing offence.

"I-I'm sorry, but I don't...I don't understand." His eyes were trailed on the ground - a silent refusal to meet your own, which would, as though staring through verglas, mirror a deep and internal sorrow.

If he looked now, the regret would overwhelm him. "You don't have to, really...I - I just thought you should know. About my feelings, and...and about my 'gender', I guess. So, um...'Bigender' refers to the presentation of two genders...I was born female, but I identify as both male and female. And, uh...social expression is different. It's basically pronouns and stuff, so...I go by they/them. Oh, and...to clear up confusion, I can present as male one day, and female the other. It isn't always that way, though. It's...kind of complicated if you haven't researched it, or if you don't...feel..."

Attempting an explanation only caused you further discomfort, as you were now the one with averted eyes, sensing something akin to red-hot pokers charring your flesh. In reality, it was nothing more malicious than simple curiosity or bewilderment. But you still felt it, and you trembled under its weight. Freedom of identity expression was often difficult, even for veterans - those brave few who chose to parade their differences with flags or badges. It had always been a contentious issue, despite your typical 'masculine' appearance. You wore trousers, and your hero costume never betrayed your biology. The entire class, among whom were both friends and near-strangers, assumed you to be male. You didn't bother with corrections, but...there was an underlying discomfort that occasionally manifested as nervous hand-rubbing, laughing, coughing or picking at your skin.

"Um...I still don't really...I-I don't know if that's possible? S-Sorry, I uh...I should get back to class...I can't miss All Might's teaching...yeah, I-I need to go. See you!" He left you crestfallen.

Why did I have to go and open my big mouth? I didn't have to get hurt like that...I did it to myself. There's no point even trying to blame Midoriya. He's just so...so bright, so nice...But, he kinda just left me hanging...Who does that? I mean, I guess it is my fault, but still! What should I do now? It's not like I can just waltz into class and start talking to him again...I bet he doesn't even wanna see my face right now. Hah...whatever. I'll just skip. They won't miss me, anyway. Midoriya'll be glad to be rid of me for a while...

Walking in a slowed pace down the hall, you whispered, "Emotions, begone! Nah...didn't work."

Your reveries harboured a danger far exceeding that of the average person, and this only amplified following your...rejection? It was technically a rejection, right? He did run off...

Why do I even have these stupid feelings in the first place? I'm Bigender, so what? That's not my entire life. I have likes and dislikes, plus an actual, goddamn personality! Why is everything about gender or sexuality? You can't talk to anyone without that looming fear of inciting disgust or violence...I guess I'm just glad he didn't hit me, or something. He wouldn't do that, would he...? Maybe? I'm such a dunce. Why did I even tell him? I should've preserved his ignorance. That surely would've been easier. He isn't gay, that's for sure, and he'd probably keep seeing me as a man...Why does this have to be so annoying??

Disappointment festered within you, but...to whom was it directed? You, for the bravery displayed by confessing two of your most significant secrets - being Bigender and besotted with Midoriya? Or the boy himself, for practically refusing to acknowledge both? It wasn't really him though, right...? In retrospect, hadn't you been deceiving your classmates for months? You smothered your truths, even as they cried out desperately for air. You wallowed in resignation, trying not to shudder each time you were misgendered. It developed into a hellish sort of game - how often would you be referred to as a boy? And...how well could you suppress the repulsion? It was never an easy feat, but it was necessary to fit in, to be...accepted.

Every speculation you had about Midoriya shattered, as you climbed the stairs to the roof of UA. You planned to rest there, to hide a while, shut out the world while your heart recuperated. Perhaps you would even loosen a few tears. Lunch would be skipped - your appetite had disappeared alongside your courage.

You had expected Midoriya, the once-meek, now unfathomably-powerful (maybe your vision was rose-tinted) boy, to at the very least, furnish you with a polite rejection. Surely, the sweet cinnamon roll of Class 1-A would eagerly support a...a friend? Were you even that, anymore?

You've ruined any chance you had, dipshit. Of course you aren't friends anymore. Why would he wanna stick around someone who he'll think always has an ulterior motive? Oh god, I bet he thinks I've been lying to him this entire time. Urgh...I wonder if he's told anyone else. I don't think I'm ready to come out to them, yet...

But...he ought to be wary of leaking your private information, right? Would he be so cruel as to inform your class? Would he out you...? If that was ultimately the conclusion he reached in order to cleanse his mind, then it would crush you beyond repair. Your heart was already doomed to drain a considerable amount of time stitching up the cracks he had formed...

They weren't intentional...they couldn't have been.

He just didn't understand...and why would he? LGBTQ+ education wasn't taught, and oppressors were quite often praised, rather than justly punished, for defamation of character. It was a frustrating fight. You waded into battle alone, and it seemed that even the steeds had abandoned you...That was the price for speaking your truth, for daring to brandish even an ounce of pride - in who you were, in...yourself. It was societal corruption, yet it was completely normal.

I guess I didn't really try to hide anything, but...what am I supposed to do now? Midoriya knows, and he could definitely use that against me. I'm sure I came off as nervous...he'll know how to break me. What do I do...?

The lunch bell sounded, but you remained on the rough floor of the roof. No-body would search for you here, surely? Not Midoriya, not even Iida...He would just yell about how missed study could impact your future. Those words lost their appeal pretty quickly. You gave a dry laugh, glancing in-between the railings at the students pouring out of the building. No member of Class 1-A was amid their ranks. Shame, you might have liked to spill a drink on them.

Though, they weren't the source of your anger or dejection, and certainly didn't deserve wet uniforms, stained with coffee.

"...Or do they?"

Without warning, the roof door swung open. "Don't do it! Please don't jump!"

On reflex, you craned your neck to reveal a Midoriya panting, and dripping with sweat. "Uh...I wasn't planning to...?"

"Oh, thank goodness. S-Sorry, I just - um..." He shut the door, the sound sending an unpleasant shiver down your spine.

"Why're you here, Midoriya?" You breathed, slipping back into your mask of nonchalance.

He stalked closer, mindful that you rarely ever expressed your emotions. He was observant, able to read you better than you had hoped. "I, uh...I wanted to apologise for earlier. I-I did something horrible to you. I didn't mean to run, I just...I was confused and...a little nervous? Um, y-you see, I've had these...feelings for you, but I didn't know what to call them for a while, b-because I always thought you were a guy, and I'm not...at least, I don't think I'm..."

"Gay?" His confession hadn't exactly registered yet.

"Y-Yeah..." He swallowed loudly, cheeks a burning crimson. "I-I want to date you! Ah, I mean...um...if that's - if that's okay! I know...I know I hurt you, but I'd like a chance...to make things right. So, i-if you'll let me..."

Your heart swelled, but your response couldn't have failed any to reflect that any more magnificently. "...You do know everyone's gonna think you're gay now, right?"

[Word Count: 1414]