Hitoshi Shinsou

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Requested by: Yuki_Amaya

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He held the foremost authority over your heart.

He occupied each higher and lesser position in its pantheon.

Acceptance of and respect for every scintilla of difference between you and the society in which you inhabited, propositioned no consequence. Heroics suited him well - experience protecting you from the ever-anticipated onslaught of comments and confrontations had significantly developed his character. Though, it was hardly a reason to gloat. The fact of the matter remained that, in spite of your position at UA, circumventing such horror was a tricky endeavour. But love's transcendent strength granted Hitoshi both the means and the motive.

And upon drawing the curtain, he always shared that one jumper, ridiculously-comfortable and oversized. It was akin to an invitation into his embrace, but of course that too could be requested. He couldn't profess to be....yours, without first conceding to something so simple, so rewarding.

He appreciated each individual piece of your soul - even the misshapen ones. He understood himself as the binding-glue, holding them all together. Still, the intricacies of your relationship were often ignored in favour of relishing in the moment...in a type of wedlock bliss. It was strange, without the labels of 'lover' or 'partner'. You established neither boundary nor creed, yet somehow...somehow he always knew. Could he read your mind, or were your wishes twinkling like a thousand constellations amid your eyes? Either way, you presumed such fortune undeserved. Would he ever grasp the true extent of your gratitude? Could your heart's rhythm reach his? Could he feel it when he humoured your silent demands for snuggles?

Well...those demands were his lifeline.

And while he danced with his memories, a melody so raw and unrehearsed clambered on to your tongue with an elephant's grace. 

"Hey...Hitoshi?"

What am I doing? I know I can ask him anything, but...how do I ask him this? Am I just supposed to say 'Are you really okay with me...with my Asexuality, with my reluctance to date, with...my non-conformity?' And what answer am I supposed to expect? 'Absolutely not, and now that you've asked all the questions I thought you'd never ask, I feel that now's the right time to leave you...to break your heart.'

"Yeah, (Y/n)?" Breaking him from the chains of fantasy had only ever failed once - in all fairness, the involvement of cats and Mr Aizawa played a key role.

'Eraserhead supremacy', as Hitoshi always joked. He lived (and would surely die) by that doctrine. "Um, do you really not care about my...orientations? That sounds dumb, uh...what I mean is...I won't ever feel comfortable with that level of intimacy. Is that really...okay with you? Don't most people take that kinda stuff as a given? It's holding hands, kissing, then...further, right? But I...I don't wanna do that stuff. I don't need to. I never will. You...you're different. You're normal. I've been thinking, and it...it just isn't fair to tie you down like that..."

"That really how you feel?" Hitoshi's eyes maintained their heavenward gaze, missing the tears that began to pool within your own. "I'm no more normal than you. We're the same amount of weird, same amount of crazy...we'd have to be, or this wouldn't have worked for so long. That stuff doesn't interest me, but if it did, I'd push it aside for you. I'd push everything aside, to put you first. Thought you'd know that. Guess not, huh? Sorry for making you worry."

"Huh? What are you apologising for? I'm the one who got all worked up over...over nothing. Well, it's not nothing, but...I guess I just...assumed." Guilt laced your voice.

Hitoshi turned, hand outstretched to caress away your crystalline sorrow. "I'm apologising because you were nervous to talk to me. You shouldn't ever feel different. Not around me, not around anyone. No-one has the right to say anything, unless you give it to them. And it's fine...we've only ever held hands anyway."

In the pale moonglow, his humanity seemed to slip...as if it were a mask, from which a god would spring forth. The wind caught his soft, indigo tresses, pulling them in every direction. You might have laughed, if not for the lingering tone of austerity. As you nuzzled into his hand, you remembered the carollers, in all their merriment, who only hours prior, had recited a flurry of songs from 'Jingle Bells' to 'All I want for Christmas is You'. During the latter, Hitoshi's propinquity and warmth had kindled something deep within your heart. The word had evaded you, until now.

Love.

Before, its infinitesimal spark reflected the stars above - bright, yet...so very distant.

Now, it had blossomed. It was here...it was real.

"What are we, Hitoshi?" You dared to whisper, trembling not from the frigid weather, but the fear of his response.

"Whatever you want us to be." He whispered back, paying no heed to the canvas of glitter and twilight.

I want us to be...so much more than we already are. I want those labels everyone else has. I want to be with you, forever and ever, though that sounds so childish. I want you to stay by my side, keep protecting me, keep giving me your jumpers when it gets cold, keep sneaking out at night, to watch the stars with me. I want to hug you, to hold your hand in public...I want to kiss you. I want to tell you exactly how much you mean to me. But I can't say any of that. You know I can't.

Both life and love echoed ephemerality, but it was a sentiment you staunchly refused. The labyrinthine nature of this love couldn't pry your lips apart - the instant they connected, the butterflies fluttering in your stomach exploded into fireworks so dangerous and charming.

It was a kiss imbued with feelings finally realised.

It was a kiss...your very first. 

[Word Count: 971]

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