Seventy Six

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Madison's POV

I sat in the dining room, eating quietly with my parents.

"I think I'm gonna move back to my apartment." I mentioned. My mom instantly looked at my dad, as if she was telling him to stop me telepathically.

"I think I'm ready." I said.

"Very well then." My dad said, causing my mom to glare at him.

"How's Jason?" He asked me.

I didn't really know how to answer that. I have been avoiding his calls for the last week, and I didn't go see him like he wanted.

"He's..."

"Have you talked to him?"

"Not really." I said. I felt bad.

"I thought you were gonna go visit him along with his mom."

I really didn't want to talk about him. But I think he was asking me all this as a test. To see if I was ready to be on my own.

"I wasn't feeling well." I answered.

"Honey, why don't you stay here until your pregnancy is over? That way we can look after you."

"Mom, I can do that on my own." I said.

"Jason requested to have his death penalty moved earlier." My dad said out of nowhere.

"What?" I asked. "Can he do that?"

"Yes. He filled out the paperwork last night. Now we're waiting for a decision to be made."

Why is he doing this?

I stood up from the table and ran upstairs to my room.

I let out a frustrated squeal and paced around my room. This fucking sucks! I can't call him, I can't go over there, I can't do anything! Why is he being so stupid?! Why would he do this? He's not that type of person, he doesn't give up so easily!

God damn it

Jason's POV

"McCann you have a visitor."

I furrowed my eyebrows and tried to think of who could it be. My mom is gone, Madison is not talking to me... Lawrence?

We followed the same protocol that I have been getting used to, he handcuffed me, walked me down to the visitation room, and I walked down to the small window.

Only this time I was truly surprised. My heart dropped when I saw her sitting there across from me.

She's here.

I sat down and picked up the phone.

She looked at me with furrowed brows, a hint of anger rested on her face.

"Hey. You're here." I said as I ran my hand over my messy hair. If I had known she'd be here I would've at least attempted to brush it. "It's good to see you."

She stayed quiet and continued to glare at me.

"Are you going to talk to me?" I raised my brows.

"You." She said. "You- you asked for your death sentence to be moved earlier?!"

I chuckled and said "now you care about me?"

"If you did this to manipulate me in someway or get my attention, well, you got it. I'm here. I'm talking to you, I'm listening. So, what do you want Jason?" She said, getting on my nerves.

"What is wrong with you?" I said, now being me the one who was mad. "All I ever wanted to do for the past month is have a fucking conversation with my wife! And you keep hanging up on me, pushing me aside, ignoring me!"

"Well, I'm here now. So talk!"

I laughed and shook my head. I looked away and bit the inside of my cheek, controlling myself from saying something I'd regret.

She's pregnant Jason, just relax. Try to calm down.

"If this is the way you're going to act, I'm not interested in talking to you." I said.

"Then-" "Madison shut the fuck up. Don't start your little mind games, I'm in fucking prison. I can't chase after you every time you get mad now. I can't get out of here and go see you anytime I want, I can't call you anytime I want. So don't start. Okay?"

She rested her elbows on the small surface in front of her and lowered her head.

I sighed and said "I'm sorry for snapping like that. But I knew what you were gonna say." "You were gonna ditch me, like always. And this time I can't go after you."

She put the phone down, so I wouldn't hear her, and put both of her hands over her face.

I tapped softly on the glass to get her attention, but she just shook her head.

She picked up the phone but kept her hand over her face.

"Don't do this jay. Please." She silently sobbed.

"Madison... This is fucking torture." I said. "I can't imagine anything worse than this life... I can't see you, I can't talk to you, I'll miss out on your pregnancy, on watching our baby grow..." my voice cracked and I blinked repeatedly to refrain tears from falling down my eyes.

"This is hell."

She wiped her eyes and finally moved her hand away from her face.

She purses her lips as she examined my face. She made eye contact with me and said "If you go through with this... I'll never forgive you. Never."

"I'm sorry." I said. She softly nodded as she stared into my eyes.

"I miss you you know." I said.

"Then take a good look at me. Because this is the last you'll see of me." She said.

"Madison, please try to understand." I said as I felt my eyes get heavier.

"I completely understand Jason. You want to be dead... so... I'll act just like that. You are dead to me."

She hung the phone and got up.

"Madison, don't go." I begged. "Madison! Madison!" I yelled as I watched her walk away.

"Hey! Cut it out!"

I stood up from my seat and threw the phone against the glass out of anger.

"What do you think you're doing innate!"

"Get the fuck off me!" I barked.

Two men pinned me down on the floor and handcuffed me.

I couldn't fucking breathe.

"You got yourself a free pass to the SHU tonight." One of them said as they pulled me up on my feet.

I bit the inside of my mouth to stop myself from making any more comments and just shot a glare at the men staring at me.

"Keep walking inmate."

Instead of walking back to the cell block, they took me straight to the SHU.

This is fucking stupid! I didn't even do anything!

He freed my hands from the metal and pushed me inside the small cell.

I fucking hated the SHU. Prison was already horrible , but this was a thousand times worse. It's just me in here, with my dark thoughts that didn't leave me alone.

I smashed my fists into the wall and rested my head against it.

"You're dead to me."

"Fuck." I said under my breath, letting out a few quiet sobs, I felt my body shake as moments from earlier replayed in my mind.

I'm so sorry Madison. I've failed the only person I cared about.

But what's the point of being alive if I'm not really living?

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