Loving him is so wrong!

Part 2 Chapter 11

Levi
I fucked up. I knew that these feelings for Alana was wrong but I couldn't help them. I fell head first into this situation and now I don't want to leave it. I knew when I first came back around that I shouldn't have tried anything with her but I was curious to see why Chandler was so obsessed with her. So I quickly found out why he was. It's not even all about the sex it's just the way she is. She makes you feel like you are the only person in the world and that you can do no wrong. I wanted that, I want someone to look at me like that and not to mention cook like she can. I fell for Alana just by talking to her and being around her but she's married. And I love them together I totally do but why couldn't she see that it was supposed to be me. I mean obviously her drunken feelings tell me otherwise. That night when I picked her up and I was surprised she called me she started telling me how much she loved me. Alana was telling me how she felt like she was making a big mistake and that she should call off the wedding. We then did what we did best.
"Hey Levi,what's wrong with you?" Monica said to me. I turned to look at her and saw her smiling up at me. I wanted so bad to talk to her but what happened between us the last time I don't need that.
"Nothing Mon. How's Serena?" I asked
"She's okay considering...."
"Right." I said as I smiled at her "well I'm going to go home. Call me later?"
"Levi, you know you can tell me anything" Monica said
I laughed at her then turned around to walked towards the elevators. I stopped. Turned around and looked at her. I feel like I'm gonna regret this but I can't tell Alonzo this. I damn sure can't tell Chandler about this so she's my last bet.
"Mon I need you to promise me something." I said
"What?"
"What I tell you needs to STAY between us. No drama no bullshit!" I said not taking my eyes off her.
"I promise. Come let's go grab a cup of coffee."
She walked towards the elevators and once we got in I felt myself already regretting this decision. I need to get this off my chest and in the air. I need to shake these feelings for Alana. She's obviously not leaving Chandler and I need to accept that. We walked in the coffee shop and I felt like I was in a daze. I ordered me a cup of coffee and a blueberry muffin and sat down. I grabbed a pack of sugar and put it in the coffee debating on what I wanted to say. Monica came seconds later and sat down next to me. She blew on her coffee and put it up to her lips and took a sip from the mug. I watched her drink her coffee before looking back down at mine. I grabbed my stirrer and swished it around in my coffee. I kept on doing in and thinking back to the last night I had single Alana.
"Levi." Monica said
"Huh?"
"What did you want to talk about?"
"Nothing." I said breaking my muffin and stuffing a piece in my mouth then picking up my coffee. I changed my mind on telling her. She sat back and watched me eat my muffin and didn't say anything. I pushed my muffin towards her so she could get a piece before sitting back in my seat. Out the corner of my eyes I saw Alana walking with the kids into the coffee shop. I couldn't help but run my eyes over her body and smiled. I love everything about her body. From the curly hair on her head to her pretty little feet. I love how she always smelled sweet and how she barely wears makeup. She was fucking perfect. Alana looked and saw me. She smiled wide at me then waved. I nodded at her smiling even harder now. Alana turned her attention back to her kids and I saw Monica looked to see what I was looking at then turned back to look at me. Fuck I was caught.
"No Levi!" Monica said
"What?"
"Please tell me you're not."
"Not what? I'm so confused right now." I said
"You can't go back down that road with Lana. She's been through enough. Let her have her happily ever after"Monica said
"I don't know what you're talking about. I just looked at her and smiled"
"I see how you look at her."
I rolled my eyes and picked my coffee back up. I didn't have anything else to say to her. I just sat back and watched Alana until she walked out the shop. Okay Levi just tell Monica what you need to tell her and maybe she'll give you some good advice.
"Me and Lana had sex" I blurted out
Monica choked on her coffee. I sat back and regretted saying it. This is gonna cause something I can feel it.
"Recently!"
"No years ago."
"Oh well I already knew that. Remember y'all denied that." Monica said it a sarcastic tone.
"No before her wedding. Alana told me she thought she was making a huge mistake marrying Chandler so I tried to comforting her." I admitted
"With your dick! You had to have sex with her? Levi what the fuck!"
"I know and now I'm in love with her but we all know Alana breathes Chandler. The next morning she regretted it and cried and swore me to secrecy that whatever happened didn't happen and I agreed but I can't forget what she said to me." I said
"What did she tell you?"
I sat back and wondered if I should continue telling Monica anymore. I mean I'm already in a deep hole if she decided that she wanted to cause drama. But I hope that she keeps her promise and keep this between just us.
"She's in love with me too. She's in love with me and Chandler" I said
"Wow. Just when I feel like Alana couldn't do anything else to surprise me she does." Monica said laughing
"You can't say anything. I know you and Alana don't have the best relationship but like you said she's been through enough. I don't need this blowing up in her face. She's pregnant again you know."
"Really? She got Chandler to give her another baby."
"Yeah she did." I said sadly
It got quiet between us. I sat back and thought about everything and all of the sudden Melanie popped in my head. I really do like being with her. She's also everything I look for in a partner. I thought about asking her to marry me but I don't know. I need to completely remove these feelings I have for Alana before I make a drastic decision like that. Melanie deserves the world and more.
"She's in love with Chandler. I really hope you're not planning on breaking up her marriage." Monica said breaking our silence.
"I would never besides it's clear on who she wants. I just need someone to tell me that I need to not be me and do something stupid."
"What were you planning on doing?" Monica asked
"I was going to sit down with Alana and tell her to run away with me."
"WHAT!"
"I'm just joking" i said laughing. "No seriously should I stop hoping something bad happens between them and move on."
"Uh yeah. What about Melanie?"
"What about her? She's my baby." I said
"She looks a lot like Lana."
"Only when they both had the red hair. Now she's back to her normal black hair and looks nothing like her to me." I said
"Yeah. Anyways where is that going?"
"I want to be with her forever. She's an amazing human and deserves everything she's ever wanted."
I was now smiling thinking about Melanie. I haven't been home yet and I was missing her badly.
"So give her the world Levi. I think you're also scared of getting married again so you are acting on small feelings that you have for Alana. So you're holding on to the one thing between y'all. Go be happy stop stressing over Alana she ain't stressing over you." Monica said
"You're right. I do need to move on with Melanie". I said. I felt my phone vibrate and saw that Melanie called me. I decided that I was just going to go home instead of calling her.
"Well let me go back up to Serena. This was a lovely talk and I promise this is staying between us." Monica said before reaching for me and hugging me.
After i walked her back to her room I went to my car and sped home. It took me thirty minutes but I was home.
I walked inside and heard Melanie talking to someone in the kitchen.
"Mel! Baby?" I yelled
"Hey baby. How's Serena is she don't fine?" She asked
"Yeah. Who is here?" I asked noticing the bags sitting next to the door.
"Well Umm why don't you walk in there and see for yourself."
I looked down at her and couldn't read her expression. I grabbed her hand and walked in the kitchen and stopped. There she was standing at 5'7 long wavy blonde hair,gray eyes, and slim body. She turned around and smiled at me. I felt my blood boil when I saw her baking in my kitchen. My fucking ex wife!
"Hello love." Laura said to me in a thick British accent
"What the fuck are you doing here?"