Loving him is so wrong!

Chapter twenty

Chandler
Ive been living with Alana for about two months now and it hasn't been going the way I wanted it. She's been under her so called boyfriend's ass since I've been here and I'm sick of seeing him here or hearing her on the phone with him. Also my wife has been driving me nuts she decided last minute that she didn't want to move jobs and be here so she left. I begged her to stay here just for a year but she refused and now is bugging me to come home.
"So you really not coming home with us?" Monica asked in a sad tone
"As much as I'll miss you and my girls I need to help Alana she's alone and I can work from home while I'm on the computer. You're coming up here to visit me every month right?" I asked while holding Mariah. I hated to see my baby girl go but Monica doesn't want to stay here.
"Yes I will be here every month and I'll FaceTime you everyday multiple times baby please give me her so we won't miss our flight." Monica said smiling up at me.
I kissed Monica multiple times on the lips and then picked her up and held her. For a first time in forever I'm actually going to miss her and I'm sad to see them leave. I kissed her soft lips one more time before helping them into the car. I watched them leave and then headed my way to Alana's house. While driving I decided to call her before getting there. I really don't want to see Terrence and I hate hearing them have sex. Yup they have been fucking like rabbits ever since she's been cleared and I hate it.
"Yes baby daddy how can I help you?" Alana said into the phone
"Hey baby are you hungry? I'm stopping to get something"
"Yes please! Dairy Queen please."
"Is your boyfriend there?" I asked her
"No he's not going to be here for two weeks his grandma died so he's flying back to Hawaii" she said
That made me happy to hear so that means I could try to get back with her or at least have sex with her.  I miss holding her at night and I definitely missed watching her cum. I miss just being happy with her and knowing that I was the reason she was smiling. About fifteen minutes later I was back home with her food. I walked into the house and of course I hear moaning coming from her room. Annoyed and pissed off I went into Avery's room and surprisingly he was already beginning to wake up when I walked in there. I picked him up and he turned his head towards my chest trying to latch on and once he realized I didn't have the boobs he was looking for he started crying. Time to be petty.
"ALANA I KNOW YOU NO IN THERE FUCKING WHILE MY SON IS OUT HERE CRYING. He's hungry and you out here sucking dick" i said banging on her door.
I heard a bunch of shuffling around in the room before Alana ran to the door and quickly opened it. The guilt on her face was priceless and I continued to play on it.
"Some mother you are. Can't believe dick is more important than your own child!"
She rolled her eyes at me reached out for him but I quickly pushed her away.
"Chandler give him to me!" She screamed
"No I don't know where your hands been and they're not going to touch him. I warmed up one of the bottles you had and I'm about to feed him. You can go on back in there and continue I just wanted to know how much of a fuck up you are!"
Alana looked at me with tears in her eyes and I instantly started regretting what I said. I was about to apologize when Terrence walked out the room fully dressed and stood in my face blocking me from her.
"You don't need to be talking to her like that! She's not a fuck up and she is not a bad mother! You're just being petty and jealous that you're not the one in here making her moan!" Terrence said
"Not right now Terrence. Go home and pack I'll see you in a couple of weeks" she said standing on her tippy toes so she can kiss him.
I rolled my eyes and went into the other room and continued to feed my son. I watched as Terrence walked towards me and looked down at Avery.
"Ima miss you lil man I'll see you in a couple of weeks" Terrence said completely ignoring me.
He walked out of the door and I went straight to Alana's room with her food. I saw her changing her bedsheets and I felt so jealous. That's supposed to be me in that bed I'm supposed to be sleeping here. She looked up at me and put her hands on her hips.
"What the fuck do you want?" She said
"I came to give you your food. Don't be mad at me cause you was too busy fucking to care for Avery"
"Are you serious! He wasn't even crying that long and plus I saw you with him so I knew that he was fine" she said reaching for Avery.
I gave her the baby and sat down and gave her the food. I could tell that what I said really hurt her and I just felt like an asshole. I walked up to her and grabbed one of her hands. She looked up at me and smiled.
"I'm sorry baby I didn't mean it." I said getting down on my knees in front of her. Like a reflex she pushed me close to her with her legs and I laid my head on her lap. She giggled when I laid my head in her and she started rubbing my head and singing to me. See when she does things like this I know that she's still in love with me. Her humming made Avery fall right back to sleep so I grabbed him and put him in his bassinet in her room. I went back to my spot and laid my head back on her. She was humming "can't help falling in love" by Elvis Presley. I  chuckled quietly at her and just enjoyed her touch.
"You know you can't be humming that song to me anymore." I said
"Why? I love that song"
"Yeah but that song has a meaning to us. I know you remember."
"Yeah I know and I do remember" she said sadly. "It was playing when you first told me that you were in love with me"
"Yeah and that feeling is still here baby I am in love with you." I said sitting up and looking her in the eyes. My gaze was strong and she wouldn't look away. She instantly started crying and dropped her head down.
"Me too." She said softly
Hearing her say that was shocking as hell because she was with Terrence now like everything was good. I grabbed her face but she started to shake her head at me.
"You just said you're in love with me but you won't kiss me. I'm confused."
"I still having feelings for you I do they're not going away overnight but I'm starting to slowly fall for Terrence and it's scary because for some reason I'm still scared of losing you but I can't fall back into your trap." She said standing up.
"So you just like to tease me then?"
"What? I'm not teasing you. We were just having a bonding moment with our son."
I just sat there and we just stared at each other in total silence. The room was just quiet and filled with sexual tension.She's in love with me and him and she doesn't know what to do about it or who to pick. I mean the obvious choice would be me but hey I'm not her.
"How the hell are you in love with two people?" I asked her finally breaking the silence.
"I don't know. Maybe because we are never truly done."
"What do you mean by that?"
She looked over at Avery and then back at me. I just watched her think of a way to say what's about to come out of her mouth.
"Chandler every damn time we try to end us or have closure the shit never works out. Do you know how many time we tried to end us? Like a million times and all the time we are back in each other arms telling each other how much we love each other. I'm so confused about this shit and you being here in this house doesn't make it better. Every time I look at you I want to love on you and just hold you but I don't want to hurt Terrence because I love him too. The shit has me racking my brain all night some nights. Do you know how many times I wanted to go to the guest room just to be with you? Baby so many times but I can't. I won't do it because I'm in love with Terrence" she said
Again I'm listening to her but I'm so confused. I just laughed because it's funny that she feels the same way I feel about her and Monica. I started laughing real loud because no I feel how Monica feels. She looked at me and just shook her head.
"What's so funny?" She asked
"Baby you sound like me when I'm talking to Monica about you. It's fucked up being on the other end of this conversation you know."
I got up and walked to her pushing her on the bed. She looked at me like I was crazy but I didn't care. Before she could open her mouth to say anything I kissed her soft lips and was opening her robe up. She has been working her ass off and eating right and she doesn't even look like she had a baby. I admire her body a little bit more and then grabbed both of her boobs. She grabbed my hands and wiggled her way from under me.
"No chandler. I'm serious we are not doing this again  I am in a committed relationship now." She said wrapping her robe back up.
"Come on just a little bit. Please just a little taste" I said getting down on my knees and pulling her close to my face. She bit her lips waiting for me to do but then again she scooted away from me. I shook my head and pulled her back down on the bed opening her robe.
"Noooooooo!" She said in a not so convincing tone.
"Okay i won't but you will be thinking about it all night." I said getting up off the floor and walking to Avery. Like clockwork he was awake and looking for Alana boobs.
"Give me my baby and let's go up front and watch a movie or something. Get us away from a bed please we can't be trusted around a bed." She said giggling
"It's all you not me. But okay what crazy scary movie you want to watch now?" I laughed at her.
"The conjuring 2" she said
I walked into the living room and cut on Netflix waiting for her. She came back up front now fully clothed and she sat on the far end of the couch. I laughed at her and pulled her by her legs closer to me.
"Just cuddle me. Nothing more" I said to her laying my body on hers.
"Okay."
She grabbed me and started rubbing on my head again and humming that song again. I fell asleep laying on her not giving a damn about the movie I was just happy to have her here with me