Loving him is so wrong!

Chapter twenty one

Alana
Laying on the couch holding Chandler had me so confused on a lot of things right. I was feeling a lot of different emotions. I was horny I had butterflies and shit I fucking hate him that's how fucked up my emotions are when it comes to him. I know deep down that I don't want Chandler and that I love Terrence. Instantly feeling my body stiffened at the thought of Terrence I quickly got up waking up Chandler.
"What's wrong?" Chandler said while stretching
"This you ain't getting me this time. I'm going to go to bed goodnight"
"It's not wrong you just need to get out your head for a few and just enjoy what I can give you. Let me in baby" Chandler whispered in my ear
I pushed him away from me but he walked back towards me not giving up. Chandler leaned down towards me and kissed behind my ears and then my neck. A moan escaped my mouth but I quickly ran into my room and closed the door. If I didn't I know I would have been bent over that couch screaming his name. Chandler definitely knew how to talk me out my panties but I'm not doing that anymore. I sat down next to my son bassinet and just stared at him while he slept. I knew in another ten minutes he was going to be ready to eat so I decided to call Terrence.
"Hey baby I don't have great signal where I am so talk quickly." Terrence said into the phone
"I love you so much you know that right?"
"Yes and I love you too" Terrence said in a weird tone
"Why you say it like that?" I asked
"What did you do Alana?"
"What! I didn't even do anything and the fact that you just automatically think I did is fucking stupid and hurtful"
"I didn't mean to hurt you but you sounded weird."
"I just called to tell you that I love you and that I was getting ready for bed that was all." I said
Avery started crying and I picked him up and went to change him before feeding him. Chandler walked into my room and had a bottle already ready for him so I just gave Avery to him.
"Well baby it don't seem like you're going to sleep soon I hear lil man back there." Terrence laughed "baby i gotta go they're boarding my plane now I love you"
"Bye baby I love you too" i said before hanging up the phone.
I looked at Chandler and watched him feed Avery his bottle and then burped him. I went to reach for Avery but he wanted to keep holding him. Since he had Avery I decided to go and take a shower. Even though Chandler had he baby I still took the baby monitor into the bathroom with me just incase then I cut on the shower. Once I put the shower on the temperature I wanted I got undressed and got in. The moment that hot water it me I immediately relaxed and just let the water fall on me. I should have taken a bubblebath instead but too late I'm already in. I grabbed my body wash and my towel and started to lather my body with soap. I massaged all over my body and then rinsed off and repeat two more times. I cut off the shower and grabbed my towel. I was going to get out the shower when I turned and looked at my removable shower head. Fuck it I'm super horny right now. I cut the water for my shower head only on and grabbed it a put it towards my clit. I moaned once I felt the water pressure and threw my head back. I rocked my hips and moved the shower head at the same time making me moan even louder. I put my free hand on one of my breast and massaged it before grabbing my nipple and pinching it. I rotated my thumb on my nipples and rocked my hips even more after feeling myself on the edge of cumming. I moaned louder feeling myself get closer and closer. I stopped rubbing my nipple and grabbed the towel rack in my shower to keep from falling from my legs shaking so much. I moved the shower head some more opening my legs a little wider and screamed from my orgasm. Recovering from my orgasm I moved my hair from my face and looked up and saw Chandler smiling at me with his arms folded. Shit how long was he standing there. I grabbed my towel and covered my body ignoring that stupid grin on his face.
"You really just fucked water to keep from fucking me? I mean that was sexy as fuck though they way you were moving and shit" Chandler said in an amused tone moving out the way so I could walk into my room.
"Yes I did and it wasn't to keep me from fucking you" I said not making eye contact with him.
"Did it help?"
"What?" I asked turning around and looking down at the monitor.
"You got it out? All your sexual frustration out?" Chandler said grabbing me
I gasped at his touch and then slapped his hands away. Masturbating in the shower only made me even more horny but I'm not budging. There was no way in hell that I was going to let him fuck up what I had going on with Terrence. I played this dangerous game with him long enough and I'm putting my foot down for real this time.
"Go away chandler. I'm getting ready for bed and I don't want you in here I'm not doing this with you." I said pushing him towards the door.
"You want me so bad. What Terrence ain't all that in bed?"
"He's amazing in bed and no I don't want you I WANT HIM!" I said before closing my door
Once I locked my bedroom door I sat in my bed and FaceTimed Terrence. I called him three times but no pick up so I figured maybe he was sleeping or with family. I was about to fall asleep when I got a text.
Terrence: hey sexy i saw you call me but I'm catching up with family and friends. I will definitely call you later on tomorrow. I love you sleep tight.😘
I rolled my eyes and just laid down in bed sexually frustrated as hell. I miss Terrence so much and it's weird not having him in bed with me. I tossed and turned for two hours and grabbed my phone to call Terrence again. Of course he didn't pick up so I just went on Instagram until it was time for Avery's feeding. I typed in Terrence username and clicked on his page and almost had a heart attacked. Some bitch was sitting on his lap and they looked a little too familiar with each other to me..Who the fuck is that!? Okay Alana it could be his sister or something. I scrolled more and saw some of the comments and I was red hot.
Carina-1989: wow just like old times 😍
Just_call_meZion: awwww it's high school all over again. Get back together already!
MyNameIsYas: hahaha y'all are funny but I do miss this dumbass.😝
I quickly remembered that this was his ex wife Yasmine. I took a screenshot of this and decided to text him. He always telling me how I can't control myself around Chandler but look at him. Before I texted him I called him one more time.
"Hello?" A woman said into the phone answering on the second ring.
"Can you give the phone to Terrence please?"
"Yeah one moment baaaabe"
No this bitch didn't just say babe. Feeling myself about to cry I pushed those feelings back once I heard his voice.
"Hello?" Terrence said
"So you out there being all happy with your bitch ass ex wife like I'm not here? Fuck you Terrence you aren't any different from Chandler! I knew you were too good to be true! How could you do this to me?" I screamed into the phone. I walked into my bathroom so I wouldn't wake my baby up.
"The fuck are you talking about Alana?"
"The fucking picture of that bitch on your lap and you holding her like y'all never got divorced."
"Alana calm down. It's not what you think at all no one is fucking no one! It was a dumb picture we took with each other nothing more."Terrence said in a calm tone
"No I don't believe you! You're just like him !"
I was now sitting on my bathroom floor crying. I couldn't believe this shit I'm sitting here trying to avoid Chandler but he's fucking his baby mama.
"I'm not like Chandler don't ever fucking compare me to him! I'm telling you the fucking truth I'm not stringing you along I promise."
"Whatever bye!"
"Alana baby I-" I hung up the phone before I heard the rest of what he was saying. I heard Avery crying so I wiped my tears and grabbed him from the bassinet. Chandler must have heard him too because he was knocking on my door. I opened the door and turned away from him. I didn't want him seeing me cry over Terrence or give him the satisfaction of it. Chandler grabbed diaper and wipes off the dresser and came over to my bed and changed him. I quickly wiped my eyes because I felt more tears coming. He looked at me with a concern yet confusing look on his face. Before he said anything my phone rang. I pushed ignore and then it rang again. I let out a frustrated sigh and picked up the phone.
"Go to hell!" I said into the phone and then tossed my phone on the bed.
"You wanna talk about it?" Chandler asked laying Avery back down in his bed. Avery wasn't sleep but he laid him down anyways.
"No."
"I'm here for you."
"I know." I said walking up to him and jumping into his arms kissing in his neck.
He moaned and grabbed the back of my neck pulling my face up to his. He looked into my eyes and saw that I had been crying. He put me down on the bed.
"No Alana."
"What? Why?"
"Don't use me cause you're mad at him. Fuck me cause you want to not because you are in your feelings."
"Oh now you wanna have some type of morals! Whatever get out I don't need you or him"
Chandler walked to the door but me being me I grabbed his hand and got down on my knees looking Chandler in the eyes. He smiled at me and then pulled his pants down.
"It's not going to suck itself!" Chandler said grabbing a handful of my hair. I lick my lips but my phone kept ringing.
I was going to get up when Chandler has a firm grip on my shoulders.
"Ignore it baby." He said to me. I nodded my head and took him far down my throat. His had fell back as he started moving my head to a rhythm he like. Again my phone was ringing making me lose concentration. I stopped what I was doing and went to answer my phone. Chandler kissed his teeth and was hot on my tail.
"WHAT!" I said into the phone
"Is this Alana?" A girl said into the phone
"Yes who is this?" Chandler grabbed my body and positioned me in the doggy style position. I looked at him and mouth "stop" but he ignored me and put me in the arch that he likes. He slid inside of me and i had to bite back my moan. He felt so good inside of me. Chandler was moving at a nice slow and deep pace.
"It's Yasmine Terrence's ex wife. Look he told me how upset you are with the pictures and We are best friends and I'm sorry that the picture made you upset. A bunch of us friends were trying to cheer Terrence up considering the circumstances and a friend put me on his lap and took the picture. Im sorry again." She said
Shit.Of course the moment I decided to have sex with Chandler I get this damn phone call. Lost in his own world I pushed Chandler off of me. He fell onto the floor and looked at me like I was crazy. But something inside me told me not to believe a word that she said.
"Where is he now?" I asked
"He's in the bathroom he doesn't know that I called but please give him another chance."
"Maybe I'll call him tomorrow. Bye" i said
I hung up the phone and looked at Chandler. I didn't know what to do at this point so I just laughed.
"What's so funny?" Chandler asked
"I don't deserve happiness or a good man I don't know how to deal with it." I said
"Let me make you happy right now." Chandler said getting down in his knees in front of me.
"Do you think about Monica a lot?"
"Yes. I think about her everyday but i can't just ignore my feelings for you."
"Do you think I'll ever be happy?" I asked
"Yeah. But right now I think you're too young to be looking for a husband right now. Anyways I'm done talking about us fucking shit up. This will be kept between us I won't tell." Chandler said right before he ate me like it was his last meal.
I  closed my eyes and tried to relax but I couldn't do it. My mind was on Terrence and I felt so guilty about tonight. I looked down at Chandler and moved away from him. He groaned again and then stood up.
"Damn Alana it ain't never been this hard to have sex with you before."
"That's because I've changed. I'm sorry chandler but we have to start doing our partners right."
"What are you saying?" He said looking at me
"I know I said this a lot but we are done. I'm going to do right by Terrence and you're going to do right by Monica. We love each other there's no denying that but think about it if we wanted to be together we would be."
"Yeah okay. I'm going to bed goodnight." He said dismissing me. He rolled Avery to his room and closed the door.
I shook my head and called Terrence back again.
"Hello?" Terrence said into my phone
"Chandler and me almost had sex tonight"
"Me and Yasmine almost had sex tonight too"
It got quiet on the phone neither one of us said anything.
"Why didn't you fuck him?" Terrence asked
"Because I want you more than anything else. Why didn't you fuck her she also lied to me?"
"I didn't want her I was drunk and got caught up in a stupid moment plus I was sad about my grandma. I'm sorry."
"Me too I was mad at the picture of you and her!"
We both laughed into the phone.
"So we both fucked up." Terrence said
"It seems like it" i said
"Do over starting now?"
"Yeah."
We talked on the phone for another hour before we got off the phone to go to bed. For some reason me almost sleeping with Chandler felt like some weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I don't know why if anything I should feel even more confused but I don't. I laid in my bed after checking on Avery and was in deep thought. Alright Alana no more fucking around. You want happiness we are going to work on getting it and Terrence is the only one we want to get it from.